Judge — January 10, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Auer Bexxnaen Guiam TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year.or s2 numbers - $3.00 One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - "2.50 One copy. for 13 week: 135 Tacluding the Cumistuas Jupce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS To all for- cign countries in the postal union. $6 a year THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JunGe BuILDING), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th St.. New York ‘antec advertivers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any other tivical paper published. by the Amer MATTHEW QUAY has had his day. LLOW ME to observe that I am a Democrat too, and besides I can prove it—G.C. T MUST BE urged that no man should go to the senate who is troubled with paresis. ARNELL'S DEFEAT as declared by his opponents— He's dead, but he isn’t sinsible of it.” HERE SEEMS to be doubt as to using the lymph before the patient is sick or after he has had his funeral. you WOND) Fanny Davenport's Cleopatra how it happens that she doesn’t throttle Antony. tr DO! die. time th a great man to Here we learn for the first t the Hon. Sitting Bull had how legs and turned his toes in. THE ONLY wonder is that the surd Herald hasn't boomed Warner Miller as the Democrats to support for senator, man for 2 FIND on the editorial page of the Trzbune the expression “Dickens and other less. gifted writers.” ‘There are too few office cats, CONT. Mas, Garrit Mr. Garkrry E DON’T know how Govern- or Hill stands with regard to the tariff, but he swerves not a jot or tittle from the position he is supposed to hold. WIHIEN BILL NYE strokes his mustache you get the impression that he hooked it from some other 1 is a little surprised to find it is still there. OW FOOLISIL it is to say that “the only way to fight the devil is with fire." What is wanted in his case is water, and it had bet- ter be used straight. URING the holidays the late Mr. Dickens's Tiny Tim did not appear once in print or picture; but how many productions of him ap- peared in other shapes ! E TRUST there will be no shooting over the Behring sea business until the parties to the struggle have time to get away from the breeches of their own guns. . M&S. BIRCHALL, it is al se s hast ly announced, will soon re-marry. It but the sooner she changes her name the more she will emphasize her self-respect. THE REMARKS of Mr. Cleveland on the campaign of education were borrowed from no cyclopadia, but G. C. hooked some of them from the Republican press and we can prove it. Pfwhat divil’s machine have yez on th’ tebble, Dinnis?” I'm afther r'adin thot it’s all th’ shtyle now fer th’ upper tin t’ bar-rn th’ candle at both inds av it.” A NATIONAL MARRIAGE LAW. THE BEST WAY to stop fraudulent divorces is to have a national marriage law, and it ought to be adjudged a crime on the: part of the present or the next congress to neglect to pass one. It is amazing, in view of the criminal marriage and divorce records, that every state should continue to be a marriage and divorce gospel solely unto itself; and the consequent temptations to crime are so numerous that many an innocent person has been ruined by them in both pocket and character. This new year ought not to go far without a remedy for this great and growing evil. DAVID’S INTENTIONS. Hitt WILL NOT go to the senate. Hill's man, not Hill, will run for governor. If the man is elected Hill will be right in line for the Demo- cratic nomination for president. If he is defeated—and he will have many Democrats to fight—that will be the last of David, and Grover will sweep the national convention. It takes a man of courage to accept the chances that Hill will; but there is nothing cowardly in his nature, and he has the gift of management more than any other Democrat. Look out for D. B. H., Cleveland men and Republicans. He is full of music and he wants to sing. THE WOMAN-KILLING POTENTATE, A YOUNG WOMAN of Russia, sentenced to death on suspicion of being a nihilist, was executed hastily and at night to stop the utter- ance of prayers in her behalf by the people of this country. After that we should think the czar would be af to go to sleep, and that his enemies would be ashamed to let him awake in the morning. NOW THEN! THE PRESIDENT indorses the Chicago world’s fair. That is a good beginning of the great work, and every well-thinking pa- triot in the country will be a Chica- goan until the exhibition is closed. The people of the great west will look upon that fair as their fair, and would make it a success if it depended on them alone; but the people of the great east and south are interested as well, and will stand for it_as if it were their very Money and other aid and comfort for Chicago, and a general invitation to the world to outdo itself in the grandest display of a century! own, WHY HE WON'T. THEY WANTED General Gor- don of Georgia to be initiated as a member of the farmers’ alliance, and in proof of their affection gave him the votes necessary to send him to the senate. But the initiation has not taken place. First the general said he had to plow an acre of ground, and they said they would wait. Then he said he was obliged to shell onions, and the ceremony was postponed for that reason. Then he said his wife had to darn his socks and it would take her a long time, and besides he had to drive the horses to water and shoe the cows. were all reasonable causes for absence; but the fourth tion will surely where to lo These vening for initia- come around and the general is at his wits’ ends to know ¢ himself and give the reason for his arrival there. There is the sha'n't-do-it article of declaration, but a man who has had unre- quited favors can never use that, THE PASSING OF THE CRIME. THE MORMON PROBLEM is likely to be good enough to settle itself so far as this country is concerned. John W. Young has bought three million acres of land in the northern part of old Mexico, and it is reported that the Mexican government will give fifty dollars to every single man and two hundred dollars to every family that shall settle on it. The scheme is not a new one, and its adoption is only a question of time. It will save a great deal of expense and unpleasant- ness to us—though perhaps it is likewise only a question of time when old Mexico will be a part of the United States, and then the ancient trouble will be renewed. But sufficient unto the day, etc. As the girl remarked at protracted meeting of her new bonnet, “1 found it was dragging me down to hell and so I gave it to my sister.” comicbooks.com