Judge — January 3, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Annee. Brana GiLLas. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year.or $2 numbers - $3.00 One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy. for 13 weeks = « Ipcluding the Cusisrstas Jeoat FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIO. ‘ign countries im the po 6 @ year THE JUDGE PUBLISHING Company (Junce Buitpine), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th St., New York it for intee advertisers a larger circuiation at cheaper rates than any other ‘cad paper published. Jonon is for sale at Brentane's, 17 Avenue de COpera, Paris, and by the Amer- Netospaper agency at 1s Kine William street, Strand W. Co L LAST WoRDS of Mr. Sitting Bull—* Ugh! Heap dam McKinley prices.” THE SHILLELAH is mightier than the sword, and the dust of lime beats them both, + i MISS MATHER, too, was married mostly for publication and not as a guarantee of good faith. OHN GREENLEAF WHITTIER is eighty-three years old, and ac- cordingly is in the sere and yellow one. WE HAVE no idea of the num- ber of parties in Ireland, be- cause we do not know the number of the inhabitants. THE CUSTER MASSACRE brought honor to both Sitting Bull and Gall. It is a suggestive fact that Gall still lives. ARNELL’S EYES and any number of broken heads are unmistakable evidence that the Irish are governing themselves. THE QUEEN is in tears over the loss of a pet heifer, and Mr. Swinburne will presently write a poem about watering the unmilked milk. M®- STANLEY sometimes sus- pects that Mrs. Stanley is a better lecturer than he; but she talks only after the curtain is dropped. 5 gy WE JUDGE from several large failures in Pennsylvania that the capt- ure of that state by the Democrats is a worse calamity than the inley tariff business. PORTABLE MeMick (calling) — Mas. Four ould it doan’ move much, HEN ANYBODY asks an actress “ Whats the ne * she invari- ably replies, with a sweet smile, “Well, 1 contemplate getting a new husband to-morrow.” CALVIN S. BRICE, senator from Ohio, appears in the census as a resident of New York. Calvin is too thin a man to spread him- self over so much territory. S THE RESULT of a trance a girl of Muncie, Ind., predicts the speedy end of the world; but we have great confidence in the staying powers of this new year. [F IRELAND were free thousands of Irishmen would lose the incomes they get through sympathy. Does this explain why the cause is put back ten years every time there is a chance for its success? THE ANTI-MORMON government of Salt Lake City has increased the local taxes three hundred per cent., and the city recorder has turned out a defaulter. Evidently the fact of having but one wife is looked upon there as a license for most of the other sins. Pfwhat'll Oi do wid me hat?" “Hang it an th’ rack behoind yez, OUR NEARER GHOST-DANCERS. [F WE MUST have Democrats, thinks the Buffalo Express, it is better to keep them on their reservations, as we do the other savages. Let this be done by enactment of the present session of congress. These Democrats have no right to locate themselves in New Hampshire, Massa- chusetts, Michigan, Ohio, and various other localities heretofore sacred to the occupation of their adversaries. Let them be driven back to and a few miles beyond the shore of the Pacific and kept there forevermore. NO FRAUD. OBBING NEW YORK by a fraud census will not help to win her vote in 1892.— World. Fraud? Dear man, the census appropriation went through the house, with the help of many Democrats, with great rapidity. Always heretofore it has had to wait a year. Congressman Tillman says he believes it as fair a census as was ever taken. Fraud? Come,come! There is no partisan ammunition in that mean little gun. IT WHISTLES ITSELF. EW WORDS for new-year’s day here. The day speaks for itself, and the suggestion and advice regarding it have been given a thousand times in twice that number of shapes. There is nothing else that is so blissfully new or so charmingly old. We have the old poverty and char- ity, and the new abundance and affection and hope. We have the requi- site iciness out-of-doors, the better to enjoy warmth inside. Street and country road are alive with health and happiness, and the bounding boy and bouncing girl have whirled through the holidays on_ glisten- ing steel. A happy new year? Yea, verily. Act it. Beit. Make it. Sing it. And bless you, my children—bless you! SERMON. P)!SCUSSING the question of social equality, a colored dele- gate to the Ocala convention said, “When you have grace in your heart, knowledge in your head and money in your pocket, you are any- body's equal.” There is a little ser- mon with which to begin the new year. Having those qualifications, the question of equality settles itself and will never bother you. FORCE AGAINST THE BLACK. [IS the open utterance of every southern Democrat that the black man, whether he has. the requisite votes or not, shall never be given the right of government. Take that in connection with the statement that the blacks have a free vote and are given an honest count, and you see what the alleged fair play at the southern ballot-box amounts to. Force will be used against the honest result of the vote and the count—certainly a meaner force than that proposed in the Lodge bill, This is one of the questions of this new year. FURNITURE, It's thot OUR IMPROVED HOLIDAYS. It IS WELL to have the good, old-fashioned winter once in a quarter of a century. It teaches us how good the other winters are. The sleigh-bells of the old days were charming, as were the ice in the pitcher, the tick of the frost, and the click of sleigh-shoes over brittle snow; but they are more enjoyable in the memory than they were in the fact. We are prepared for them better now, but their absence is quite as good as their company. They are a natural accompaniment of the holidays, for the poets tell us so; but some most excellent holidays have come and gone without them, and the green Christmas has apparently given no extra fat- ness to the sepulchre. A sleigh-ride is most enjoyable long after it has gone by, and its fun’ best begins when one has doffed the woolens that have made a mummy of him, thawed out the limbs that have come to be as sticks and stones, and sent the snorting, stamping horses to the barn to get comfortable. Not that the sleigh-ride is not good, but it should be had in warm weather. Not that frost is not healthy, but it should be taken in July. comicbooks:com