Judge — December 27, 1890 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A SKATING-LESSON. E SPOKE in sentences condensed, Yet said enough. Sometimes I wildly bumped against ler furry mufl, Sometimes her lovely weight half hurled Me from my feet, Nor would I miss for all the world “This onslaught sweet ‘Sometimes with both dear hands she clung In dire alarm ; Again, quite calm, she merely hung pon my arm. Oh, moonlit night! oh, silvery ring ‘skaters steel With fingers locked we glide and swing, We carol and reel, 1 feel her skirt that flutters warm Last—koeeling, draw the straps apart tr Againet ny tnece I turn and twist her pliant form ts My gloves are in her lap—my heart ‘With graceful ease. Is at her feet. A half-forgotten memory— My eldest-born, my handsome Claude, Yet.at a word (Oh, smile of fate!) How clearly it comes back to me! Coaaing her lovely daughter Maud just now | heard ‘0 learn to skate! at. mRIDGKS. , < NO HARM DONE. cE (recently divorced }—* Pardon me, were you address- *N-no, madam ; I merely remarked that you were a regal- looking woman,” M LONGACRE (sweetl')—"* How stupid of me. 1 thought you said “legal. Whew! I forgot to baste the creature : Ah! the aroma from that insect makes my mouth water and my knees fairly knock together. Set the table early this morning so I could feast my eyes on it wh ever I passed through the dining-room. For a centre-piece there’s the schweitzer cheese surrounded by oranges. Half a dozen boxes of sardines with lemons on top stand just west of it. Baker's bread, can of tomatocs and package of peanut candy at Soph’s plate complete the — There! Forgot to put out the pitcher for milk. Wanted to mash the They're all boiléd to bits, I declare! I'll put them in the flour- sieve to drain and pick out the skins with a forks Eleven o'clock. Jolly! ‘Turkey getting tender, and I'm almost starved. Sticks to theypan and I can’t get him up, but Soph won't mind getting him on the platter if I do all the cooking. Just freshened him up with a dipper of cold water. Thought it might loosen him from the pan. Such a smoke! Ashes flew into my eyes until I'm nearly blind. Won't touch him again till Soph comes home. Needs as much care as a baby. Burned my hand, spilled grease over my best trousers, got ashes all over my hair, and am as stiff as a poker bending down to baste the infernal — ‘Twelve o'clock !—and what's that? —the bell! I fly —it's Sophy — Hooray! Merry Christmas !— Merry Christmas to the whole world ! JONR 1. JONES. potatoes, Grorce—“'I don't feel wewy fit, classes are so deucedly incompwehensible. 2 You appeah to be weahwy.” Fwed, I am weahwy of Amewica, ‘The lowah T went to the mill-girls’ ball last night, quite chawitably disposed towawds their amusements. I awsked a most chawming cweature to dawnce. She vested er eyes upon me in a mannah highly wep- wehensible and awsked me if I was a bwack-com! *A bwack-comb!" I wepeated ; ‘how do I wesemble a bwack-comb? ‘Because you're so stuck-up.’ By Jove! the working - people of Amewica are weahly growing wewy outwageous.”” PREACHES, BUT NO PRACTICE. oe HO is that frightfully-dressed woman that you just recognized?’ “That is Madame Prim, editor of a fashion magazine.” JUST THE THING. MAIDEN, 1 am sorely tried What to do this Christmas-tide. Costly gifts I would bestow, At your feet my fond heart throw ; But— Valued gifts you'll not accept, For,” you say, ‘* mamma'll object.” ‘aid the maid—the cunning elf— “Why not offer then—yourself 2° URNA GiLaRer ron, WHEN you tell a Boston girl that all you are going to give her for Christmas she can get in her stocking, somehow she doesn’t seem to be a bit pleased. CAPRICE, Miss GLANceR —"* Who is it?” THE CALL-BoY—"‘A gent with a diamond necklace, lady.” Miss GLaNcer—‘*Oh, bother! ‘Tell him to leave it, and if the man with the pig’s-feet comes, show him in. I'm ‘most starved.” comicbooks.com