Judge — December 13, 1890 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE LOVE OF MISS MAUDE. (By Tombyard Riping) T IS said that one day Miss Maude, who possessed eighteen years of age in her own right—although the accumulation of age is not a token of wisdom, which is a pity—told her ma that she loved one Hector and. was loved by him in return. It is also hinted that, having listened to this information twenty-nine times daily for two consecutive weeks and a half, Miss Maude’s ma had become hysterical and had wept severely all night, after confiding to Miss Maude's dad the story of their daughter's misplaced affections. I could tell you something of Miss Maude’s dad's early life—but that would be another story, which this is not. Perhaps I might also tell you of a certain mule that—but it would be something else; which here is unnecessary. : Miss Maude's ma, like most mas, had other plans for her daughter’s future happiness. It is true she had not /it on her prey as yet, but she felt that it would appear if time were given it. Miss RECOGNITION Maude said that life without Hec- tor would be one vast and soli- tary blank—but in vain! Miss Maude's dad forbade Hector the house, and then proceeded to fill Miss Maude’s blank with mono- syllables and polysyllables of his ‘own choosing and devising. “So things went on from bad to worse.” Miss Maude and Hector became the recipients of clandestine meetings until they were thwarted by—on_ second : tahighis' 1 bad aber” noe ite PATERNAL CONSIDERATION. : . : : "Careful, there! What are you doing ?" you by whom they were thwart 'SCAPING PARTY —" Don't stop ys! My daughter's beau don’t ed. Suffice it to say that they suit us, so rather than hurt her feelin’s mother an’ me's goin’ t' elope.” were thwarted. One day long afterward there was a THE MINISTER'S WOOING. terrific storm—lI could describe it, but I won't—and Miss Maude was in it without her umbrella. It is true that she had her goloshes with her, but what are goloshes to an umbrella? I know a man who could talk for hours on that question. I will point him out to you some day when the fit seizes me. Hector procured an umbrella and went in search of his dampened darling. It is needless to remark that he not only found her, but also brought her in safety to her abode. Such an act of sagacity was not to go unrewarded. The circumstance was duly enlarged upon until Miss Maude’s parents became convinced that their dar- ling’s life had been irretrievably saved by the one she loved. If it had not been for Hector would she not have become The story of it, OLp Mrs, Wicatns (af sewing-circle) 1 tell you, T seen drenched — cold —pneumonia—death— it with my own eyes. Jest after he passed my house I'looked Sorkin lunesta out, an’ there he was a-huggin’ a gal “T waive my objections !” exclaimed Miss Maude's dad; “you can have your Hector. I took him to be an ill-natured cur, but I find him to be a wise and sen- sible dog.” And Hector wagged his tail and said —but that would be telling. And then—but you are probably tired. fer all he wuz wuth, th’ NERO O'TLYNN. LARGE RESULTS. Johnny Curso" Did you go fishin’ yesterday ? Freddy Fangle—"Yep.” Johnny Cumso—" Wojjer catch?" ‘Freddy Fangle-—“Five fish an’ a whippin’.” A NEW VERSION. FOOL and his money soon part, they say, 5 A Whether hundreds or millions he start The, trath) oft, cing Parson Goopenow—''I'm very sorry, Thomas, to have ee ie Naeiay found one of my best boys smoking a cigaretie; but now.that it But it’s worth while being a fool to-day, has made you ill I will simply take you home and leave your If we only can get some to part with. conscience to punish you.” comicbooks.com