Judge — December 6, 1890 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ONE CHRISTMAS ENOUGH. A HOLIDAY MEDLE K VON RIPPLE was dreaming. He was sure of it, but his dream was such a delight- ful one that he hated to let it go. He was dreaming life was all play and no work. However, the alarm had sounded, and he had been late several times lately. So he gave a mighty yawn, tumbled out of bed, hustled into his clothes, and rushed down to the table, to swallow his alleged coffee in one minute and two motions, As he hurried along in the scorching sun he kept wishing he was rich. The wish was not a particularly new emotion, but he. seemed to feel it stronger than ever this morning, for to-morrow would be the glo- rious Fourth, and he did want to take Susie for a ride, and to see the “First Nights of Doomsday, the Greatest Pyrotechnic Display in the World,” that evening; but he just couldn't afford it, and he was hot over it— and the state of the mercury. Hello! the store was closed ! what's the matter?” he shouted to Trotboy, the youth of all work, who was just hurrying out of the back door, having evidently emerged from his cot un- der the counter with more haste than elegance. “ Matter, you dummy ? Why nothin’ that I knows on.” “Well, say, what day is it?” “Day? Oh, you— why it’s the fourth—of — Ju—Christmas—thanks— New—Years,” answered Trotboy, in a tone of in- then he added, with an elaborate pull at his straw hat with fur car-laps, “ Tiptop of the Christmas-tree to you,” and held out his hand for an offering. AT THE HUNT BALL. Mrs. Curzon —“‘ Do you ride to hounds 7” Monsieur Lepuc—'‘Non, madame. I should much trouble have even to ride one,” e san oo RO — tense sarcasm; AN IMMINEN# CASTIGATION. PAssenceR (in the rear seat) —"" Anything I can do for yu, friend? You seem to be worried.” PASSENGER (in front of him) —‘ Them two fellers jest ahead of me has been passin’ d'rog'tory remarks about that haysced’s ears, an’ if they happen t’ turn ‘round an’ ketch sight of mine, I'm ‘fraid they'll give ‘mselfs away, an’ I'll have t’ lick ‘m.” Wink was so astonished at his curious appearance that he dropped a quarter into it. “Where'd you come from, anyhow ? boy, staring at him, nineteenth century ?” “Why, wh—what century is it now ?” stammered Wink in dismay. “ And am I here or am I not?” “Oh, yes, you am; but this is the steenty-steenth century, and we don’t take no stock in any leftovers.” “But you used to be in the store with me, and you're here.” “Of course, I’m here ; but I joined the Knaves of Nolabor, like most of the rest of the world; and we's let in on the ground floor of the Ponce de Sequard Elixir of Youth corporation, and we don’t grow old workin’ no more, nor nuthin’ like that.” “You certainly don’t grow in knowledge of the beauties of English,” thought Wink, but he prudently refrained from making his thoughts visible to the naked car. “ But what are these Knaves of Nolabor ?” “Hello! You are a left-over, that’s certain; you'll have to join the gang.” “The gang?” echoed Wink, beginning to feel and look scared. “Yes, the gang. Listen, you, and see if you can get the run of the world, as it wags for us jolly knaves. First, then, whereas, etc., the world in the played-out ked Trot “Were you left over from the 1.—THE MAGICIAN’S “You will notice, ladies and gentlemen, that I have no paraphernalia about my person to aid me in my great illusion called ‘ Harnum and his Pets.’ I perform the er-er-r-r "—— nineteenth century was mostly work-days, with a few hollerdays, us knaveses has turned that ere order of things over, kerplunk. We now has mostly play-days, THE MAGICIAN’S EXPOSE, ——“' K-e-r—teshew !" (and the sneeze was fatal.) ‘comicbooks.com