Judge, 1890-12-06 · page 31 of 52
Judge — December 6, 1890 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical vignettes lampooning prominent 1880s figures and social hypocrisy. **Top cartoons** ("Precaution on the Field"): Two French military officers nervously prepare for a duel, each claiming superior sense—satirizing the absurdity of aristocratic honor codes. **"How They Will Spend Christmas"**: A list mocking famous Americans' predictable behavior—John Wanamaker (retail magnate), Hayes, Cleveland, and others—suggesting their Christmas activities reveal their true characters and obsessions. **"The Season of Loving and Giving"**: The central satire exposes capitalist hypocrisy. A coal merchant and flour dealer rhapsodize about Christmas charity and compassion, then immediately confess to price-gouging each other—raising coal prices a dollar per ton and flour prices accordingly. The joke: their stated values collapse the moment Christmas sentimentality ends. **Lower sketches**: A ballet dancer and a child's misunderstanding of "turning over a new leaf" (interpreting it literally rather than metaphorically). The page satirizes wealth inequality, commercial greed masked by seasonal piety, and social pretension.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PRECAUTION Count Roquerort—"'I have ze lamentatigns zat my fraind ees wounded.” HOW THEY WILL SPEND CHRISTMAS. JOHN WANAMAKER will get a box of candy at the Bethany Sunday school treat. Rutherford B. Hayes will dine on a chicken of his own raising. Grover Cleveland will write a letter. Club men will sit at their club windows and get up stares. Farmers and congressmen will spend the holidays in mending their fences. Thomas Ochiltree and Eli Perkins will tell a whopping Christmas story each, . George W. Childs will be mentioned for the presidency. Queen Victoria will scold Prince Henry of Battenberg. Bismarck will explain his retirement. The czar will suppress a few newspapers and banish several scores of people to Siberia. Chauncey M. Depew will eat a dinner, John L. Sullivan will indulge in a Christmas punch. Jay Gould will water such of ais stocks as seem to need moisture. bets Sa ee A FATAL MuLE D'Licutroor (in the chorus) — “We sing as we wander ‘Through the green, shady trees, — ON THE FIELD. Count Sarpinr —'t Nevaire! I have ze sainse to lace before ze duel.” THE SEASON OF LOVING AND GIVING. S¢YVHAT a truly happy time Christmas is!" remarked the coal mer- chant, “Yes, indeed,” replied the flour dealer; “it is the helpful season, when mercy and charity rule, and when we should look with pity and love on our fellow-creatures.”” “How pleasant it is,” the coal dealer resumed, “ that there is a time like this, when sordidness is forgotten, and no one tries to take an advan- tage of a fellow-creature.”” “Indeed, it is,” assented the flour merchant. “By the way, I think I can safely put the price of flour up a half dollar on the barrel now.” “Of course you can,” replied the coal dealer, “I marked up the price of coal a dollar a ton yesterday.” HE TOOK IT LITERALLY. Father—" 1 suppose you'll turn over a new leaf with the coming year ?” Young one —* But, papa, the trees are all bare, and not a new leaf to be found anywhere.” STUMBLE, And the little birdies ponder, What strange birds are these 7” comicbooks.com