Judge, 1890-12-06 · page 28 of 52
Judge — December 6, 1890 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Christmas-themed satirical page from *Judge* contains several disconnected humor pieces mocking Victorian-era social conventions and commercialism: **"A Terrible Possibility"** jokes about a child with a phonographic (mechanical recording) doll losing its cylinder—implying the doll's monotonous repetition mirrors real children. **"Young Minister's Christmas"** contrasts what a rural clergyman *needed* (coal, salary raise, roof repair) versus what he *received* (frivolous gifts like sachets and Bible covers)—satirizing impractical gift-giving and society's neglect of clergy needs. **"Got the Information"** depicts a young woman and her cousin at mistletoe, implying a romantic/sexual encounter through euphemistic language ("show you"). **"Exposing Professional Secrets"** mocks hack writers recycling old stories with seasonal decorations rather than creating original work. **"Hans' Mistake"** features a German character finding a frankfurter; the dog eating it provokes his complaint—playing on ethnic stereotypes and the absurdity of caring more about lost food than a dog's actions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CHRISTMAS JUDGE A LONG TAIL, WITH A STRIKING END, A TERRIBLE POSSIBILITY. Aunt JuLtA—" Well, Flossie, what do you think of your little brother ?” Frossit (whois the Aappy possessor of a phonographic doll) —"1 haven't heard him say a word yet, and { shouldn't be Surprised if he'd lost his cylinder out,” THE YOUNG MINISTER’S CHRISTMAS AT LONELYVILLE, N. J. He WantED Axp He Gor ‘Two tons of coal, A lilac satin violet sachet, A raise in his salary, A Japanese cash box, A pair of new suspenders, A banneret with “ Merry Christmas” on it, To have his roof mended, A pair of embroidered slippers, A receipt to prevent baldness, A crocheted Bible cover, A rubber overcoat, An elegant surplice, A new kitchen range. A copy of Thomas 4 Kempis. And the: nly really appropriate thing he received was a postal card from an old college chum in Colorado, which said, “ We are having very wintry weather.” GOT THE INFORMATION. Miss Igenue (just from school) —* Cousin Tom, won't you tell me what the mistle- toe is hung under the chandelier at Christmas time for?" Cousin Tom (politely) —" Certainly ; just step over here, and I'll show you. Now you sce that large dull-green leaf just above your head !— No, not #/af one — just a little to this side "—— and then she knew! EXPOSING PROFESSIONAL SECRETS. Faber —\'ve just got an order for a Christmas story, and I haven't an idea.” Mrs. ‘ake that Fourth of July story you gouldn’t sell, ring in some Christmas bells, and sprinkle it with snowflakes.” MANS’ MISTAKE, Herr Brieravter—Ach ! some feller’s lefd a frankfurter. I vos nod proud alreatty.”” ——"'But py chim! dot dog vos !" comicbooks.com