Judge, 1890-12-06 · page 24 of 52
Judge — December 6, 1890 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces. The upper section is a lengthy rural dialect poem about aging and life's passage, celebrating simple country pleasures (barefoot happiness, Christmas) while accepting mortality philosophically. Below, "An Old Saying" presents a domestic joke: a wife reflects on the blessing "it is more blessed to give than receive," prompting her husband's regret at having spoken—satirizing wives' materialistic expectations or their manipulation of such platitudes. The two cartoon sketches depict vaudeville or theatrical scenes: "Confirmed Inactivity" shows men lounging lazily, while "An Excusable Mistake" depicts a dancer and musician in apparent confusion, likely illustrating miscommunication or incompetence in entertainment venues. The satire targets leisiness, spousal dynamics, and theatrical incompetence—common Judge magazine subjects mocking working-class and entertainment-world figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
> ec Athen ‘angeke ahead was ‘most, too fur to see, rigstin™ happiness=meant \jest_a’ apple-tree, ay y all_a boy could’ grab at afore the dog got nigh, It's plumb ermighty curyus thet wrinkles, van’ gray hair, Nn’ rheumatics, an’ failin’ sight, an* stiffness everywhere, » al pass so speedy ye can't keep track o” it, Maly fazes me an’ dulls my natchel wit; Whilse days 0° bare-foot happiness are long ez long can be, An’ when you git to courtin’ times!—it raly pears to me Ez ef life) kind-uh called a halt upon itself an’ -gust, _ An’ jest laid out to shet its eyes, an’ stretch itself, an’ sit, Ah’ sniff the air, an’ loose, itself, forgittin’ yearth an’ all— Ez happy ez a July peach a-sunnin’ on the wall. An’ look like’ Chris'mus uster come ‘bout onct in fifty year; Ix crawled round like a fish-worm—an’ now it’s al here! I skercely git done samplin’ one Chris'mus turkey’s fat Before another gobbler hes gone the way of that; An’ mince, an’ pumpkin pies—de-law !—an’ plum-cake, creamy rich, An’ crullers brown an’ ily, an’ sassages, an’ sich— Why ‘pear ez ef I bar'ly dergest one Chris'mus ast Ez pert an’ cheerful-lookin’ ez ef it all was planned Before another rises up ez brash ez baker's yeast! To let us down fale easy, an’ teach us yore an’ yore, Old age, it hes the bulge on youth!—I ain't complainin’ none, ‘Thet every step o' livin’ beats all that’s went afore— Becuz my aches an’ frettin’s goes by me on the run, That life itself, aside of what is waitin’ over yon, Whilse holerday to-doin’s are always jest at hand, Is like a winter snow-storm c’moared with summer sun! AN OLD SAYING, Se YVHAT are you thinking about, my dear?" asked Gazzam of his wife, as she sat ina brown study a few evenings before Christmas. “ [was thinking, Henry, of the many beauties of that trite old saying : ‘It is more blessed to receive than to gi And then Henry was sorry he spoke. CONFIRMED INACTIVITY, “s terrible lazy, ain't he?” T never scen him git a move on.”* Mons. CHALMON (0f the orchestra)—"' Ten suuzan fury !" Mite. Cuanronti—* Monsieur es worry ? Mons. CHALMON—'* Why not? I send zat stupid messen- Mites—"* Down to th’ Sunset house on th’ Rowery. le wuz eatin’ grapes in bed, an’ gaire-boy for my Frainch horn—he br-rring me zis bottled bein’ too tired t' turn his head, he blowed th ‘skins up in th ‘air an’ dodged under the blanket,’ absinthe !" comicbooks.com