Judge — December 6, 1890 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHRISTMAS OLD CREEPS. E THINKS the slide a vile device, And naught could make him gloss i That's why, although he meets some ice, He never comes across it. IT WOULD BE USEFUL. ¢4]'D LIKE to borrow one of your longest hose,” said a girl to the captain of a fire company. “ What do you want it for?" asked the fireman, in surprise. I want to hang it up for Christ- My RIGHTEOUS ENVY. Tom —“\ envy a bird just about Christmas time, Dick.” Dick —" You do?” ° Tom —“ Yes, he has only one bill to take care of, and I've about two dozen ;" NO CLAIM TO SPECIAL PRICE. Stranger (purchasing Christmas gifts) — You may give me a dozen of those dolls, half a dozen each of those games and puzzles, twenty-four pounds of candy, and——” Dealer —“If you are a dealer, sit, we will make a special price on a quantity.” Stranger (sadly) —“* No, I ain’t a dealer; I'm just a mormon.” THE tailor’s Christmas goose should never be cooked. WILLIAM TELL has been knocked out, but Santa Claus is still in the ring. A SHATTERED COMPLIMENT. Lerry Casino —* How do I look, M’sieur ? M. Constan (cho is shaky in his English)—" Most shar—rming, ma'mselle! You will make ze one gr—rand smash !" (and she never knew that he meant * hit.”) FISHING. SceNz—Almost’ any old wharf on the Sound, on a Saturday afternoon. Nosey Butterworth — Gimme a worm, Tom; you've got th’ most.” Tommy Jerdan—""\ ain't breakin’ my back diggin’ ‘em fer a feller that had two sticks of gum an’ put ‘m both in his mouth to once. Use clams.” Arthur Woodley (whose mother has let him come out) —"'It isn't nice to quarrel.” Tommy — Shut up, you dude! 0-0-0! Monkey Roach ’s got a robin. Punch him in th’ belly, Monk, an’ see him alderman himself up.” -Nugger Turner — Hully gee! What a flounder! Had him most up U th’ top ‘r the water. Must ‘r weighed a pound.” Herb. Bergen — So 'd a hog.” Nugger —" How long sence you've been on th’ scales? Booster’s ole man ‘Il baste th’ life out 'r him, He's set on the place where Mister Giddins spilled th’ tar this mornin’.” Booster Buck —" Tain't none of your concern'f I set ona hornet ; bully fer you, Nugger! Haul him in, Pooh! —begawl. Gimme some bait. Periwinkles ain't no good. Arthur —" My father said that Captain Ridley caught a sea-bass, off th’ Hen and Chickens, that was over four feet "— Chorus —" Rats ! Arthur — Long; Chorus —" Keno Arthur — Eight pounds.” Tommy —* No wonder your guvner ‘s a Baptist.- He seems t’ know a blamed sight about th’ water.”” ind weighed thirty "— Fatty Lamson —* W—w—wow! I've w—went an’ got a fish-hook— wow—in my thumb!” Booster —" Lemme see it. Hyh! that ain't nothin’. do's ter break it off an’ haul th’ wire "— Fatty — Ouch!” Booster —“ Through like that; see? Jt don’t leave no hole worth speakin’ of, though it ’s kinder rough when yer ain't got only one hook, Shut up cryin’ now.” Nosey —" Herb’s ketched a snapper by th’ tail.” Herb—" You ain't ketched none at all.”” Nosey —"1 ain't got no bait.” Tommy —" Here, Nosey !” Nosey—" You do that agai, an’ I'll break your face! P'raps you think it’s nice t’ git hit in th’ eye with a spiled clam. Haul in quick, Arthur (gives the slack of Arthur's line an awful jerk from under the string- piece). If you ain’t got adog-fish I'm mistaken. What, git away? Well, that’s too bad. Try him again.” Nugger —" See me paste that crab with this rock.” (Throws in a section of granite weighing about ten pounds, and the few fish on hand disperse.) Chorus —" Now you've went an scared 'm off.” Nugger —Theré wasn't none there. Le’s go over t’ Daddy Ryer- son's an’ hook apples.” : Tommy —“ Come on!" Chorus (as they disappear up the wharf) —* Whoopee ! All yer got ter Ccomicbooks.com