Judge — December 6, 1890 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

N THE ages so long, long ago ‘That nobody ever can know Just when it occurred, T give you my word ‘That a wonderful creature did grow Complete in a night—yes, ‘tis so. The magical men of that day Were not at all pleased with the way ‘That the round world did go “We'll make a brave show To better it, and we'll not stay Until things are different, we say.” They said everybody had “*glums,”" With thoughts all intent on the plums Of the pudding of life; And their every-day strife Was spent in exploring its crumbs With two avaricious old thumbs. | | ‘These wise men they pondered a while, ‘Then laughed out a laugh without guile: | “We know what we'll ‘ do, And you'll see when we're through; But first we must call up a smile That shall girdle the earth, mile by mile.” ‘Then they struck on their musical harp And the servant that tended the warp Of the world did appear “You command and I hear. “Attend to this matter right sharp— Let the whole world forget it can carp.” So this servant he pulled on a thread That to every one’s laugh-string was wed, And the earth did resound With the jolliest sound ‘That ever was heard, it is said ; And ere all its echoes had sped NO HALF-HOSE FOR HIM. Mrs. Brown—"We'te going to put you in long trousers.” Little Johnnie—" Wait till after Christmas.” NO USE FOR IT. Gostin—*|—aw—would like to give myself to you—aw—for a Christmas present, Miss Blanche.” Blanche—" Thanks, awfully, but papa has given me a house and lot. So you see I have no use for a flat.” “THE king of Christmas—Stock- king.” AT LUN Miss Brunc (who Aas passed the summer at Bar Harbor)—'* Kitty, will you do me a favor one, Miss Bronn— Miss Brune Tt doesn't match my tan, you know. WiLL? Ask it.” FOUR VIEWS OF UNCLE POT! Listening for the dinner-horn. HIS BIRTHDAY. (A Christmas myth Jor grown people) The wise men had captured it sure, And this laugh of the world to keep pure They let a maid kiss Who was filled with love's bliss ; ‘Then by this most beautiful lure ‘They snared everything that could cure. Mirth, love, and good-will for all men, ‘They placed in a crucible then, Of pure mischief a spice And of wisdom a*slice ; ‘Then stirred it again and again With a spoon in the shape of a pen. i | SUITABLE For the pen held the thoughts of the world ; And as the smoke lovingly whirled "Round the wise men who planned A creation so grand, ‘They chose from the wishes that twirled ‘The best that in each heart had curled. ‘Then they fashioned with never a pause A world-lover quite without flaws. And from then to this day Once a year he ’s a way Of blessing the earth ; and the cause Of our joy is dear old Santa Claus. ARISTINE: ANDERSON, CHRISTMAS GIFTS. HE amount of brain matter expended in thinking what presents to give to those who will expect something is so great that any assistance in this line will be received gratefully by Americans. For the benefit of seekers after suitable gifts the ‘ions are made: a check-book full of signed If you have a suitor upon whom you look with ‘CHEON, "Let Peters bring me a chocolate éclair instead of this vanilla HWAITE'S EDUCATED EARS. Angry with Aunt Mandy. disfavor, give him the mitten, A neat and inexpensive gift for your milkman would be a watering- pot. Invite the keeper of the restaurant where you get your lunch home to dinner with you, to get a square meal. If your neighbor's boy annoys you with his drum you might give him a sound thrashing, with the compliments of the season. Give your old-maid cousin an in- troduction to an unmarried and impressionable young man. Give Senator Evarts a new hat. Give the walking delegate his walking papers. Asa delicate recognition of your barber's conversational ability, give him a block of gas stock. OFTEN THE CASE Ted- old boy. Ned—"So?” Ted—"Yes, Dear Miss Oldgirl gave me the handsomest present I received, and I had sent her only a pair of gloves. “I feel dreadfully mean, “ You should always look at Christ- mas trees with a fir-tive glance.” During the new minister's call. comicbooks.com