Judge — November 29, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE AT THE FALL OF THE FROST. WIHIEN there's apples in the cellar an’ potaters in the bin, An’ you've got your fall pervisions purty gen'rally laid in ; ‘ When there's lots of cabbage handy an’ the cider's gittin’ hard, ‘The smoke-house full o' bacon, an’ a tierce or two 0° lard ; When the turkey-gobbler struts an’ swells to twicet his usual size ‘An’ you calmly rub your stummick while you think of pumpkin-pies ; Oh, then your mouth'll water fer Thanksgivin’ to begin, ‘When there's apples in the cellar an’ potaters in the bin, Joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving and the voice of melody."—/sa. Ut., 3- There's somethin’ in the fall o frost that makes you feel right well, That is if you've enough laid in and somethin’ left to sell ; Of course you hate to see the trees and meadows gittin’ bare, And feel that kind o' lonesome feelin’ broodin’ in the air, An’ you can't help a-thinkin’ ‘bout the summer's bein’ past An’ harvest bein’ over an’ the winter comin’ fast ; But the giggles will keep twistin’ round your upper lip an’ chin When there's apples in the cellar an’ potaters in the bin. An’ then of frosty mornin’s to go out an’ see the stock, ‘The mounting-heaps of hay an’ oats an’ fodder in the shock ; To boss the milkin’ of the cows an’ feedin' of the hogs, An’ see the friskin’ of the colts and capers of the dogs ; To hear the whinny of the mare, the bawlin’ of the calf, ‘The bleatin’ of the silly sheep, the fickle mewel’s laug Oh, then you think ‘ Thanksgivin’” with a more than usual grin, When there's apples in the cellar an’ potaters in the bin. EDWIN 8, HOPKINS, A STUCK-UP MISTRESS. seMARY, did any one call while I was out?” “Yes; Mr. Snooks. Snooks —Snooks? I don't know anybody of that name. “Probably not, mum; he called to see me.” YOUNG BENEDICK’S TRIAL. ALTHOUGH he wears a smiling face His humor's somewhat jerky; For well he knows that after grace He'll have to carve the turkey! NO AFTERMATH, Mrs. Brown —"That's a nice turkey, but I expected you'd have brought something to wash it down with.” Brown y dear, that's a raffle turkey, and he's been washed down already.” ON THE RAIL, AFTER THE TAR-AND-FEATHERING. Mr, MAnpers —" Dey cotched me borrowin’ d’ pos'-mastah's mewl, Chloe.” Mas, Man Mr. MANDERS —" W-wh-why didn’ yo" run, Eben?” —'*I wuz too scart.” Mrs. Maxpers—" Wewhy didn’ yo’ fy?” Coxpuctor—"'Say, what are you hiding under that umbrella for? Trying to dodge me?" Passe: That's no umbrella. Coxpucror —" What is it Passencer—* A cinderella, A SHOT FROM THE PARACHUTE. ‘THE poor man was killed by falling from the parachute.” “Ah! he didn’t know it was loaded, I suppose.” AN IDOL JEST. LARGE number of Chinamen left their places of busi- ness in San Francisco recently and marched to the joss- house; where a brand-new idol had just been unpacked. A wrote this sign and placed one on the door of each man's place of business : Gone to meet his god. THE FAMILY RE-UNION. BACK to mother's pumpkin-pies, s Apple-sauce and oyster-stews, From the city come the boys, And forget all French menus, SOME OPPOSITION. Ske—*Oh, it's horrible! ‘That Sandley girl has eloped with her father’s colored coachman.” He—*Well, | heard her father tell her once that people ought to marry their opposites.”” AN APPRECIATIVE AUDIENCE. Danvers —“In his most emotional part the tragedian fainted in dead earnest and couldn't proceed.” Colley —* Did the audience take in the real situation 2” Danvers —“ Oh, yes; they applauded tremendously.” comicbooks.com