Judge — November 15, 1890 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ALL BUSINESS. Miss Det Orme—"' Don't look at them. It's a pity to break in on his proposal.” PARDINGTON —"** Proposal” is extremely good. Why, that's young Junkins, the wholesale druggist’s son, explain- ing the advantages of a chest-protector he has just invented.” THE INVENTOR of a fire-extinguisher is dead. Now he can see how to be president himself. As a dark horse, indeed, you can hear his heels it is himself. Ree click during every interval of political silence, and presently he will paw HE SPELLBINDER is going about with a lighted lantern and a mag- ‘he round till you can’t see him for the dust he raises. nifying-glass, searching for his occupation. Bees MISSIONARIES NEEDED. [T COSTS twenty thousand dollars to send a young lady into society in GOME BENEVOLENT, religious and charitable people of Chicago New York, and this doesn’t include the charges of the McAllister. recently made a festive day for the city wails, one of the principal features of amusement and edification being a race for a greased A PROVISION OF NATURE. pig, which was finally taken in hand so torn and bleeding that it was in mercy bought and killed by a spectator. We are going to a great deal of pains and expense to enlighten the Japan- ese. Are there not some natives of that flowery kingdom who would come to us and teach us the elements of decency, not to say humanity? It is difficult to civilize a people born to a civiliza- tion which by their own acts they degrade. CAUSE AND EFFECT. HE STERNEST event in the Pennsylvania campaign is this Republican tical appeal printed by our esteemed con- temporary, the Philadelphia Jngutrer : “Stand by your guns! Don't run at the first fire; Our candidates will prove themselves worthy of their sires. And when the ship of state comes sailing ‘round the bend, = Carrying a full set of sail and manned by wise statesmen,” z 4 We entreat the Honorable Elijah W. Halford, who is famous By aS: as a warbler and a friend of the muses, to induce the Honorable A . Benjamin Harrison to give this poet a consulship somewhere. Anything to get him out of the country.—Sua. T'U ask for him a consulship that sails among the stars, To the middle of the vasty blue beyond all harbor bars, And it shall be my chariot of fire, ne'er held in tow, That's likely to go"up sky-high, but may go down below. x. w. n. Lone Cuix—* No whip, heap horsee lazy." GOME FOREIGN COUNTRIES ‘that threaten retaliation for the McKinley law discover, on mature reflection, that their retaliation began so long ago that ours was an unavoid- able result of it. The second thought, how. beautiful it is! Ste he UEEN VICTORIA'S hand: is so big that she is'compelled , to wear a seven-and-a-half glove. The size of her hand is Probably due to the exercise it has had in clinging to the crown to prevent Albert Edward. from running off with it— Chicago Ties. Very likely; because she—she evidently never used the hand, even with a, slipper in it, on A. E. when his nibs was a baby or a boy. "RAH FOR BEET-SUGAR! ERRY RUSK is enthusiastic over the eventual success. of American cattle and hogs in foreign countries; but he is more particularly happy over the success of experiments in behalf of the bect-sugar industry. We call the attention of the farmers’ alliance to the fact that Jerry would peradventure like —‘‘Some whip, heap horsee glang !" comicbooks.com