Judge — November 15, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE STRIKE OF THE APPLE-TREES. 9 |EIGHO!" a gnarled old apple-tree cried, ‘As it stood in the blooming orchard wide ; STI'm sick of standing here robbed and mute, To see each season my beautiful fruit Devoured by an old red cider-mill, ‘And its juice run through a nasty old rill ‘To swell the head of Farmer Dutell, Or purse whenever the stuff he can sell. T move we app'e-trees strike!" Although we hadn't thought of it before, We'll strike and submit to the outrage nd more!" ‘id thea each beautiful blooming tree ‘Applauded, shaking #0 vigorously ‘Thacall their blossoms without a sound Fell prematurely down to the ground. ‘When came the time for apples to" set,” The farmer, a hardy, grizzled old vet, ‘Went out in his orchard for to see What promise it offered for " orchard tea.”* Behold! there wasn’t a single " set"! ‘The farmer " spoke out in meetin’,”" you bet. He saw undouptediy he must go | Without his cider all winter, you know. ‘The trees on strike like loafers stood ‘round, The gnarled old tree that the strike had led No earthly use but to cumber the ground." When it felt the axe of the farmer said, ‘The farmer remarked, with mind astute, Asit shivered, " Alas! how could I make * izness of apple-trees is tu b'ar fruit; In my old age such a fatal mistake?” keepin’ “em jest fer show. If Thad attended to my biz T reckon some of 'em better go. An ‘That old back-number thar ain't no good ——‘T might have lived yet many a day, Exceptin’ it may be fer fire-wood.”” Instead of perishing in this way.” The other trees took the whole thing i INCURABLE, in With fright they nearly shook out of their skin. Tt was a lesson they'll never forget, And cider next fall will be plenty, you bet! “ He's pretty wild, sir, Thinks ae owns th’ world.” What's his business ? Ie’s been janitor of a down-town office-building.”* THE INK WAS NOT INDELIBLE. ENCORE. yy, GRANDMOTHER ELIZA had slip- ped at the head of the basement stairs, fallen to the bottom, and was taken up unconscious. After restoratives had been applied, the doctor summoned, and a liberal use made of bandages and plas- ters, little Sue came over to the house, took a grave survey of the sufferer, ran and made an examination of the fatal stair, then returned to the old lady ing, “Oh, grandma! do it again! do it again!" 44] DO LIKE crying children !* wonderful what an amount of good a ‘The bachelor said. “‘And wh | simple wet towel will do for a man's A friend asked, ‘should you like the head, I can meet old Cashup as straight —(Down-town a half-hour later)—"Nh! good-morning, “They're sent out when they cry. | as a string now.” sir. Fine crisp morning, isn’t it?” VERY GROSS RECEIPTS. SOUVJHAT were your gross receipts last year ?” said a lover of statistics to a popular actress; and she, who had counted her gain in flesh fearfully day by day, answered mournfully, “ Ninety-eight pounds.” DID NOT WANT IT SPOILED. SeMRS. LARKIN,” M your daughter remarked the minister, “we the choi you would let | | “Oh, | couldn't think of it! replied Mrs. Larkin he has a sweet | disposition, and I don't want her to become quarrelsome.” THE MATRIMONIAL MARKET AFFECTED. Chicago daughter — Pa, Baron le Grande and Prince Joinville have | both asked my hand in marria Father —* Two months prince, but I'm a Chicago daughte | shock, has it?” Father —" No, daughter; portations have gone ‘way up. go, my child, 1 could hi ron is all I can afford to-c —"Pa, your business has suffered no. serious ve bought you the but under the McKinley bill foreign im- | OUR FUTURE DIPLOMATS. Mother great tall tree ? Dick Kuteone not to?" Mother hands then? Dick Kuteone—Ab—well—you see, Jim wore his butternut jeans, A HITCH IN THE ELOPES and it rained, and we ended up our walk Didn't | tell you you couldn't go nutting and climb that “Do you suppose I'd go then, when you told me “How did you get all those butternut stains on your tling-match.” Racuet.—" Popper intercebted mein trunk und chewel-case, but your lid- dle rosepud vas here, mein lofe.” Isapor—" Vell, I ain'd goin’, unt dot seddles it! Rosepuds don'd pay der freight.” ha sort of wr ‘Then he and his maternal relative had another, in which the worsted slipper was not worsted. comicbooks.com