Judge, 1890-11-01 · page 7 of 16
Judge — November 1, 1890 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of late 19th/early 20th-century American humor: **"And This Is Fame"** laments how theatrical performers have lost dignity. Once, ballet dancers were respected artists; now they're reduced to advertising cigarettes in scanty costumes—commentary on commercialism degrading art. **Other vignettes mock everyday absurdities**: a doctor who vaccinated his sweetheart instead of kissing her; a man claiming spring samples justify his road absence; dark humor about a man's "retirement" to a cemetery; an interminable bore of an orator; a woman mortified to learn her friend advertises liquor; and a young husband's guilt-ridden hesitation over pound cake because poor neighbors starve. **"How He Won Her"** shows a man finally winning agreement through fashion minutiae—satirizing women's supposed obsession with wedding dress details. The humor targets vanity, commercialism, social pretension, and gender stereotypes. No specific political figures appear; instead, these are universal social critiques meant for educated middle-class readers.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AND THIS IS FAME. THERE may have been a happy time When fame attended art ; : When-airy grace with charms of face And figure stole the heart. ‘The trump of fame sent forth the name Of her whose willowy form And flying feet with rapture sweet Could make the pulses warm, The ballet queens were maids of means, And no dramatic star Was valued more, could higher soar— But now look where we are! Who blames us for high-kicking now ?— But what avail regrets? They steal our pose in shortest clothes To: boom 's cigarettes. SOMETHING OF A LIE. “Isn't Doctor Anderson very absent-minded He—“Yes, That's why he never married, He went to kiss his sweet- heart's hand once and vaccinated her instead.” A LAME EXPLANATION, Mas, SMALLWARE (on her hushand’s return)——* What is this little package marked * For nly "yt Mr. SMALLWAR' That's a bundle of spring s-samples, my dear. Lexpect to be taken off the road early in June for good.” A COUNTRY - SEAT. AT THE CLUB. : “What on earth has become of Blinkins? Haven't seen him in a month of Sunday “Didn't you know that he'd retired to the estate that his family purchased for him in the suburbs?” “No; whereabouts ?” “ Why, in Greenwood ; the poor fellow’s been dead a week.” TAKING HIS TEMPERATURE. THE orator had talked for half an hour. Oh, come on; let’s go,” said Bagley. Wait until he gets warmed up to his“ subject,” whispered Bailey. An hour later Bagley said: “Well, he’s warmed up now; let's go.” MORE THAN SHE BARGAINED FOR. Miss Kinccross (insinuatingly) —"' Perhaps your friend would like to give us “Can't you wait until the man cools down some?” his advertisement for the Church-fair Record?” Mx. STEWART —"'Cert’nly, “I'll take a couple of pages.” Miss Kixcceoss —" How awfully good of you! What line of business are you in? Mx. STEWART —"* Wholesale liquor-dealer.”” VERY REPREHENSIBLE OF HER. ‘4/MISS WEEHAWKEN just loads herself down with jimcracks of one kind and another,” remarked Miss Bleecker. “Yes,” replied Miss Beacon-Street of Boston; “she has a great fancy for James interstice: ALTERNATES. ] BOUGHT a suit; then came the bill : The sum I could not pay; So then there came a suit-at-law— I did not win the day. Soon after came another bill My lawyer sent—I owe it still. HE FEARED TO BITE. Young wife—" Have some of my new pound-c: dear?" Young husband. n—ye-ye "— Young wife—" Why do you hesitate Young husband — | was thinking, my dear, of that poor HOW HE WON HER family back in the alley who probably never eat a piece of See : x ont P , : (who has popped) —* Tt takes you a long time to decide.” cake from one year’s end to the other. What's a pound-cake “'T know. And I've about concluded to wear a demi-train of white chiffon to us? cover white silk, and have no bridesmaids.” comicbooks.com