Judge — November 1, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE HALLOWEEN. LOVE AND MONEY. | HE sat before the glowing grate. HE SAID, “1 know 1am poor and Helen is rich, but she loves | I did not ring the bell that night me and is ready to overlook my povert | But slipped in quietly. ‘Twas late. She said, “John is a good man and I have enough money Did she expect me? Ah, the sprite! for both. Love without riches is better than marriage where } there is no affection.” | Two chestnuts lay upon the fire, And the world said afterward, in a whisper, I spied them as I neared her chair; “Poor fools! Money will always buy love, but I I longed to speak my heart's desire, understand he has to ask several times before he And wondered what she'd named them there. _gets fifteen cents.”” TWO RAPID READERS. I bent and—kissed her. For my life I could not help it, standing so; 64] HAVE read more novels in the last ‘The chestnuts hissed, and in their strife month than you can shake a stick Moved close together in the glow. at,” remarked Miss Bleecker. I too,” replied Miss Beacon-Street, if ** Forgive !" I cried with anxious dread ; “have perused more than one could vi- | “And to their names, dear love, confess. brate a cudgel to “One was myself,” she softly said, | “The other"—— Ah, my darling, yes! A QUEER CONDITION. = IONE L. JONES. OMEBODY challenged Jones to | fight a duel. “ Well, it’s a go,” replied that cheerful lunatic ; ““ but only on one condition. A QUESTION MISAPPREHENDED. oo y . | You know how near-sighted | am, Well, to make things equal I insist that 1 ¢*\V/HO wrote that book you are reading,” asked Mrs. Laker. shall be placed ten paces nearer my opponent than he is to me, for the fellow’s “Lady Blennerhasset,” replied her husband. got an eye like a hawk.” I didn’t ask who has it, but who wrote it.” JOYFUL NEWS. Customer —"\ want a pound of quinine and two quarts of whisky.” Druggist—"V'm sorry to say, sir, that we're just out of quinine.” Customer (brightening up) — Make it three quarts of whisky.”” | THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT. FIRST Adam's fall consigned all ‘The human race to sin’s depravity ; Then Newton saw the apple fall; Fach time an apple taught us gravity, THEY DIDN’T GET THEM. GMALL child going down street alone for the first time leaves . the following lines on her bed: “If I come home dead I'll ‘ give my necklace to Mattie and my dime to Eddie. Farewell.” s | STRAIT - LACED. ADAPTING A WEAPO! | Why did your pastor object to your going to the Mr. Woots Da's whad I calls low-down mean !" | - Mxs. Woot Whad’s low-down mean?" | Mr. Wootson —“* Dat Eyetalian on d’ cohner borryed ma razzar t’ go td’ Nee- | politan Lazzyroni ball, an’ he's went an’ ground it Garrybaldus style.” | NP CENTRAL AN ORIG: rdon left hand, oll fellow, but I've got something here I don’t want to jar, See you in Newport next week.” comicbooks.com