Judge — October 11, 1890 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TROUBLE IN THE HOUSE. HAY, mithter, thereth twouble at our houth ! ‘mamma's thut up in ber room up stairth ! My ‘papa gocth out in the back yard ‘nd és Q : 42 Ths cook hath gone off wiy a pipe in her mont! 3 1Nd there ain't a cookey left in the whole houth ! Pax; Veth thir-ee! thereth twouble at our houth! Alther brekfuth thith mornin’ I wanted my ma; WI went to her do’ "nd, my gwathuth' 1 thaw Afewait jumbo woman with big double chin Who thald that Tmutha’t ‘ad toulda't tum in. Tikied "eauthe I wanted my ma awful bad, IN@'T kicked on the do’ ‘eauthe I wath tho mad { My pa he wath walkin’ aroun’ in the hall, 'Na fhe didn't pay no ‘tention to me at all, Bat be kept hith eyeth fxth all the time on ma’s do"; Tase him w'y be didn't go to hith sto’? He thaid ma woth thicke'nd then pitty qui Theard mamma's do-knob go “ellcketty-click !” "Nd then Docker Rubob tum out ‘nd thays he, Your noath ith bwoke now, ittle man: you will thee !* ‘Nd'T felt of may noath *nd it wan't owoke at all! Phen; from {beard thumfin' thquall, Nd pa he thood thill wiy bith eyeth 'tiekin’ out: ‘Thinktn T, "Woe the Dickenth ith all thith about?” ‘Then out tum old Jumbo, her faith all in grinth : her : hays pa." Well, wot ith it?" Thays thee, “It ih twinth !* i he woth glad. but he looked kinder mad— ick that poor people had. jumbo thaid J muth be ’till ath a mouth ; Pa thaid we would bofe dit wite out of the houth | ‘Tho pa gwabbed hith hat ‘nd wushed off to hith sto’, . Ape INA mebby T wont thee my pa any mo"? Thay, mithter, wath twinth? Wot ailth my ma now ? A MUDDY DAY IN BLACKVILLE. Wot bithneth hath Jumbo, ? 5 Ise ti", nd Ise loneitn Mr. BLOoMFIRLD (continuing a fatherly lecture) —"* Allus foller in yo’ fader’s foot- *Na T want my ma xow, stempe, Clemmy, an’ yo'll be putty shore kim t' no hahm,” WILLIAM EDWARD PENNY, CATCHING THE STRAIN: A HEART BOWED DOWN. MY love's button,” she murmurs, as she picks up a pearl shirt-button from the square of oil-cloth in the hal! where she and Alpheus Alfiero had just been standing, bidding each other a don't-you-let-go-first “ good-night.”” She turns it over and over caressingly; then her tender, Monday-blueing eyes fill with a divine seven-by-nine pity. “What a shame for such a dear good boy not to have any one to sew his buttons on properly! I wonder if I can’t tell him in some way that will be perfectly maidenly and sweetly bashful that I sew papa’s on every week, and that I shall be so happy when the dear but seemingly so distant time comes for me to sew on all of his?” ‘The sweet girl gurgles and blushes next evening as they sit in one crowded corner of the roomy old know-all-about-it-been-there-before sofa. Finally she draws forth her dainty, shining treasure; then, with dimples and frowns alternating oa her lovely Rozonnii complexion, she pushes it into her pocket again as if afraid that its three good eyes and one laundry-battered one might stare her out of countenance. “T's got sumfin 0° yours.” Yes; I know you has, pettie, for I lost it a-long time ago.” “Oh, no; you lost it just last night,” in a voice of triumph; and now boldness conquers, and she holds it out on her little pink palm, fragrant with costly manicure powder. ““I—I likes to keep Ten! it, ‘cause it’s yours, you know, and when—I mean—if we—that is—I'll sew this on the very first " said Smith; ‘some one running to one I ever do for you, if it hasn't got but three good eyes.” : And he—cruel, heartless slave to facts !—instead of answering tenderly, “ Yes, dearie; how nice that will be,” laughs long and loud, as he says, with the brutal frankness that some realistic idiot calls “sincerity of soul,” “I saw that as I came in night before last; I haven't worn a shirt-button in nine years, and there isn’t thread enough on earth to make me.” mira CONQUERED NATURE. ‘THE CONVERSATION had tured on people who were skillful in imitating the cries of animals. “Your stories are very extraordinary, gentlemen,” said a listener who was not remarkable for a strict adherence to facts, “but I once had a friend who crowed so well that "— “Well?” 2 “The sun rose by him.” “What! Smith running?” ejaculated Irown, Jones caught sight of Brown—that set Aim —But when they found they had ten min- “There, I knew our clock was slow !” off—and then came Tompkins, and then Robin- utes to spare they could have slain that stranger. son, etc., ete. — Z comicbooks.com