Judge — October 4, 1890 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Ament. Bexnaeo Giitas 1. M. Geacony, Kulitor . Sire ERMS TO SUBSCKIBI UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADTANCE. One copy, one year.or sa numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - "2.50 , One copy: for 13 weeks == 13s Including the Crmistatas Jeoon. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS— To alt for- ign countries in the postal wnion % a year, THE JUDGE PUBLISHING Company (Jupce Iiuipine), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th St, New York. CBI's guarantee advertisers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than American satirical paper published. The Junce in for sale at Rrentane's 17 Avenue de LOfera, Parity and by the Amer scam Nevespaper aeency at 15 Kine William strect. Strand W, H{!5 NIBS the wicked Gibbs feels as if he had got it in the ribs. HE LONDON Herald should have been slow and stupid. good to live. It was too [N THE DEBATES in the house of representatives the Queensberry rules really ought to be adhered to. LAINE, Reed and McKinley— When we three shall meet again we'll have still better news from Maine.” ° ogy HE VICTORY in Wyoming was not as wide church-door or as deep as a well; but ‘twill do, “twill suffice. Sctae ‘¢THE MUGWUMP is getting sense, says the Elmira Gazetfe, If that is so then he is no longer a mugwump. T IS CLAIMED by the Democratic press that there ought to be an extra session for the purpose of censuring Robert Kennedy. Me. ROCKEFELLER by his latest contri- bution to the Baptist university of Chi- cago has greatly watered his spiritual stock. ALFOUR proposes to starve the Irish into their graves or out of the country. If there are any left he will send them to jail. “UNCOMMON “Bless me! RANCE is decreasing in population, So many claimants to the late throne have to be exiled that the countey hasn't half a chance. umbre THE FARMERS and Democrats of South Carolina have joined teams, but as a general thing an ox never gets along well with a mule. HE EDITOR of the 7ridune edits his position in Paris with great strength of character, pointedness of opinion, and force of language. HARLES EMORY SMITH will not return to St. Petersburg, but will officiate until further notice as minister to the Philadelphia Press. R. MARY WALKER, who wants congress to pass a law providing for a national costume, dresses very plainly, bee in her bonnet. EMOCRATS do not fight out their quarrels in congress. were to do ths or defend a calumny. ing nothing but a If they there would soon be no Democrats to bring a charge SCHENECTADY has gained in population forty-five per cent. in thre years. We haven't been so astonished since the last victory of th: horse that nobody bet on. MB: WIGGINS used to be mentioned as a stuffed weather prophet: but at times he is sufficiently vigorous to knock the surplus out of our paid weather observers. UCY PARSONS, anarchist, being thrown out of a public ha day, sid she was “all stirred up.” method of making her simmer d Il the other Perhaps the bouncer took that vn. PROPERTY.” If T haven't actually brought away my own really, truly [® 1S FOUND by the Civil-service Record that President Harrison has made more than one-third more partisan changes in office- holding than did President Cleveland during the same time. We beg to congratulate President Harrison; though it is only fair .o say that if Cleveland Wad been re-elected he would have made up for lost time with great rapidity. A PLAN FOR PEACE. A SOUTHERN ORATOR proposes an educational qualification for voters which will disfranchise three negroes for every white man. He is a colored man, and says he represents the views of many blacks throughout the south. IIc presents the matter as a plan to prevent trouble between the two races, and a stimulus to the education which more than anything else favors peace. He is certainly generous; and there is more in the plan—which has already becn discussed in the JUDGE —than appears to the casual observer. But there is a great deal of hu- man nature in men who have once voted when it is proposed to take the privilege away from them. THE LOTTERY MONSTER. [F THE Louisiana lottery villainy has not received its deatis-blow in the law forbidding it the use of the mails it has more lives than a cat more ingenuity in law-breaking than any lawyer has able to. find out. It cannot buy national sentiment it has for years bought that of the Louisiana legislature; and if the supreme court of its state rules in its favor in the matter now under consideration it is still at the mercy of the national enactment. The Jupce has had something to do with this matter in various cartoons, and it feels that it has done its share to win the victory for which every good citizen swings his hat. and been WHY WHINE? EVERYBODY HERE has sympatiyy for labor. ‘That is unavoidable, because all American are workers in one shape and another. The countin room has no idlers.. The man who manages great con cerns works harder, and frequently more hours, than the men who execute his orders, The successful man in trade is the man who makes our society. It is English to treat the shop with contempt, though it is the shop that pays for the government. Here the rank is toa certain extent the guinea’s stamp, but it is the stamp of the guinea honestly carned and filched from labor though no dishonest or unfair tax. It free, fair fight, and the best man wins, Is there anything un- just in that? Because this man is richer than that man is it manly to whine? ‘There is the ballot, and there is the option to work or let it alone. No church takes the money of the poor unless they are willing to give it. There is no great army to support. The cost of government is ridiculously small. Why waste in kicking the exertion that is the main thing necessary to get rich? PETER, HOLD THE KEYS! LADY of Paris is afflicted with “telephonic madness.” declared that she distinctly got the celestial music by telephone, and shortly thereafter called out in a firm tone to St. Peter to give her the keys of heaven. We trust this kind of madness will not prevail. Given a little brief information as to the mysteries of paradise and there would be such a struggle on the part of the sex for possession of it that there would be no peace until the matter was settled—and not then, not then, NO BOXING THERE. are said to be learning to box. When it is demonstrated that men can fly, and embroider, and wear skirts gracefull fan themselves satisfactorily with a handkerchief, the experiment m be a success, Did anybody ever see a woman who could play ball. who could throw a stone, who could scoop a fly at right angles? Per- haps there is small difference between the anatomical ‘construction of a woman's and a man’s right arm and shoulder; but there isn’t a wor man in this world who can strike a straight blow, or catch a ball except- ing with her eyes and nose, or defend herself scientifically from any kind of attack excepting that of an infant. She can scratch and pull hair, Her defense is the wild and uncouth swoop of the right hand through the air, the left employed meanwhile in keepin, her bonnet on,” Boxing? We should as saon look for it in a fish, comicbooks.com