Judge — October 4, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE LADIES’ MILE IN OCTOBER. UT from Delmonico’s tavern, Cross to the shade of the west walk, ‘Then shape our course to the southward. Start not, nor tremble so early. What is the object before us? Kalsey, the hip-full tramedian. Pass him ; it's easy to do so, Keeping the Hoffman in offing. Don't kick the man; he can't help it, Pass him; there's space on the curb-edge, On down to chocolate corner, See all the girls full of cocoa. Here comes a sight of the ci Thoroughfed, plummy-complexioned Ochiltree, stuffed fall of turtle. “Tention ! right dress! get your set up! Pardon if but for a moment We take Fifth ayenue porch-guards For soldiers bereft of commander, Soldiers bereft of brain-tissue, Only possessing eye-movement. Quick, man! I thought you had caught it. Silver-tipped pole of a brougham Hurts just as much as a cart-shaft, Over to Heater-piece corner, Lair of the copper majestic, Press through the mob of wild women. See that great cup in the window— Emblem of swift forty-footers Straining their sticks to possess it. If by the will of the breezes It should find winners at Larchmont Strained will its sides be with fullness, Women at home human beings ; Women right here raging furie Jekyled by bargains in shopping. Look into window of Clynch’s, Shade your poor eyes from the glitter, Shimmer and sheen of the diamonds. Easterly now at an angle, Here's the Rialto before us— : Show-case for barn-hurricaners, Let us a sacrifice offer (Token of thanks for our saunte:), Shall it be beer or old Cutter? pae FROM OUR NEW DICTIONARY. Aeronaut—A proud fellow who will be sticking his head into the clouds. Conscience—A double mirror used by the heart, ia which all its faults are dimin- ished and all its virtues egregiously enlarged. Fashion—A queen that not eyen the reign of terror could dethrone. Saving —The second Providence of the human race. Silence—The strength of the weak. The flower of age—A blossom that no one is in any haste to gather. Politeness—The coin that enables those not rich in this world’s goods to pay their way. Progress—The successive abandonment of traditions. Remembrance—The heart's twilight. Fashionable friendships—Aflections that too greatly resemble an umbrella that turns inside out when exposed to a violent wind-storm. A VALUABL Derevtick —"' | like the appointments of your room very much, old man, but I don't see what you keep that apology of a dog around for.” A HAP-HAZARD HYPOTHESIS. [§ A physician's office. “I say, doctor, I wish you'd fix me up something for my stomach-trouble. I've got something inside that first comes up and then goes down and then comes back again, and—faugh! it makes me sick to think of it.” Doctor —"You don’t mean to say that you've acci- dentally swallowed an elevator?” THOSE ARE FAILURES. (MARRIAGE is not a failure,” quoted Larkin, “but all weddings are not marriages.” “That is so,” replied Bunting ; “some weddings take place in Chicago.” A HOUSE BUILDED ON SAND. VED IT. remarked Miss SHE HAD ALSO OBSE S6]T'S a cold day when I get left Bleecker. “Yes,” replied Miss Beacon Street of Boston have observed that your isolation is always coincident with a frigid section of the hebdomad.’ Jack Lazer —''Ie's trained, don't you know.” comicbooks.com