Judge — September 13, 1890 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Ament. TERMS TO SUBSCKIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or sz numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers 2.50 One copy. for iy weeks = == 1.25 Tocluding the Cwmiststas Ju FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS Te all for ign countries in the postal union, $6 @ sear. THE JuDGE PUBLISHING Company (Jupce Buitninc), Cor. Fifth Ave, and 16th St., New York. 297s guarantee advertizers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any other American satirical paper published. The June it for sale at Brentano's. 17 Avenue de LOpera, Parit, and by the Amer ican Newspaper agency at 15 Kine William street. Strand, W.C., London. WHEN POWDERLY goes off the recoil always knocks him out. eee [T REALLY looks as if the labor organizations were sufficiently: mad to boycott each other. eae ARE reminded by the troubles of King Kalakaua of that sweet old adage, "Uneasy lies the head that wears the wool.” soe EDO NOT think that Jockey Mur- phy was intoxicated; but he was so drugged that it is a wonder he didn’t fall into the arms of Murphya. BaP BOY PECK of Wisconsin was made mayor of Madison, and now he is up for the governorship. M. that, Messrs. Hill and Cleveland? HE MODEST MAN never says he caught fish. What he says, accom- panying the information with a yawn, is, “Oh, well, I got a whale or two, but noth- ing to brag of.” k you OME PERSONS think that when men professing to be Republicans work against the party the better way is to let them alone until it becomes necessary to attend the funeral. RICSSON did more to save this union than any other one man; and in hon- oring him this government shows that it is not only grateful but that it has the highest respect for itself. crm high for, dear boy ? Hotcostn— HE STATE PRINTER at Albany, Mr. T. C. Callicott of the 7ymes, is an able and usually a wise man; but the avidity with which he rushes in to help Hill and destroy Cleveland is renewed proof that one had better beware of his friends. other day LONDES make the best typewriters, according to an author the red-headed typewriters cost more because of their scarcity. Nc body cares for the cost, however, when he has an important document that needs to be executed with neatness and dispatch. y; but SCOTT, according to the Rochester Post- Express, " secured his election to congress in 1866 by the free use of money and by the plea that he was not opposed to organized labor.” Oh, yes—oh, yes! but that, you must remember, was during an extremely dry season. eae N ACT! recently returned from Pari an extensive wardrobe, replied, dressmakers are good enough for me.” , when asked if she had No, indeed! American Here are both truth and patriot- ism, but we dare say her manager won't know enough to put the words ig bills. THE ARBITRATION of Uncle Sam in behalf of San Salvador and Guatemala reminds one of the appeal in behalf of two colored gentle- men who had killed each other in a fair fight. “Say some way to settle dis Ving The appeal came from the surviving friends. they exclaimed as with one voice, “ain't der A STICKLER FOR What have you got them turned up so beastly What a question ! queen came near being drowned on a pontoon at Osborne the HE KAISER being very much impressed with the army of the czar, now let the czar permit himself to be impressed with the army of the kaiser, Both getting the idea that neither can be whipped, perhaps there will be peace for the millions who have to do the fighting and the dying and the paying of the cost of the same. HE WORLD will not long mourn for Ismail pasha; but that ex-rulers may be poisoned by an existing government is a reflection on the zation of this century that ought to have some consideration. It was reported that ex-Sultan Aziz stabbed himself with a pair of scissors; but the probability is that he. like ex-Khedive Ismail, did it with a bottle of poison surreptitiously given him to that melancholy end. G. SMITH, PERFECTIONIST. Gotpwin SMITH laments the tendency of the newspapers to give the news instead of poems and his soul-inspiring essays, and says in effect that a discussion of facts regarding the production of bread and the sale of milk would be far better for the public mind than a record of crimes and politics. We have always regarded it as a necessity on the part of newspapers to get and print news, which, by the way, they cannot manufacture to suit themselves; but Goldwin has always been the su- perior creature that demands figs from roses and condemns wheat because of the chaff that unavoidably grows with it, “Blawst the cherr claimed Goldwin not long since, in gener- al condemnation of Canadian fruit ; “ why, it ‘as the haudacity to ‘ave a stone in it! Vot's the matter vith the h’almighty, don’t y’ know?” THEIR ARDUOUS DUTIES. HE STATE BOARD of arbitration arbitrate their salaries very success fully. The board is composed of three men at three thousand dollars apiece, and a clerk, who gets two thousand dollars. When there is a meeting the question is What are we here for?” and the unanimous, “To adjourn Whereupon they break up and go home. and the papers chronicle the fact that there has been a meeting, It is diflicu to sec how the state could get along with- out the state board of arbitration. THEORETIC SLUSH. FOOLISH MEN are again advisi the general government take charge of the railroads. What a monster of tyranny the government mi:zht be if it had control of the telegraph and the railroad systems. Does anybody imagine that there would ever be a political change in the adminis- tration of these immense interests? As if governments, made up of men, would be less liable than men or companies to be- come corrupt or to do injustice to the mil- lions under their control! ‘The government has all it can do at this mo- ment—more than it can do well. Reform dictates that it have less rather than more authority; and individual and company enterprise has a right to all the advantage it honestly wins. THE LODGE BILL. YOU MAY stick a pin there, It is not dead, but gone bebind. It will catch up presently; and meanwhile we shall see whether black men can vote without intimidation, and what kind of representation belongs to states that do not permit a their citizens. necessary to 1 i FORM. Don’t you know that the air, free, and open ballot to any portion of The Lodge bill is right. The question is whether it will be eit a law. MERCY FOR MAN AND CAT. HE HOME for indigent cats and dogs which is under consideration ia this city is an enterprise not wholly for the benetit of the homeless animals. Whoever has scen a vagabond dog or cat and submitted to its pleading for shelter, noting the wistfulness in its half-human eyes or the manifestations of hope, gratitude, disappointment, regret, and rebuke in its face or tail, has seen that which clings to him a good many days. If he kicked that homeless animal and has a soul within him he cannot forget it; he regrets it almost as much as he would have regretted the animal's adop- tion, This home ought, therefore, to be encouraged, first for the sake of the persons who have to encounter the vagabonds, and next for the sake of the vagabonds themselves. comicbooks.com