Judge — August 30, 1890 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK W. J. Anweut. 1M, Gancory, TERMS TO SUBSCKIB, UNITRD STATES AND CANADA, IN’ ADVANCE One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - ‘One copy, six months. of 26 numbers - ‘One copy: for 13 weeks = += Ineluding the Cusistwas Juper. FOREIGN Si dignce UBSCRIPTIONS— To all for- tries in the postal union. ‘year THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Junce Buritninc), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th St., New York. (BT-We guarantee advertisers a American satirical paper publishe The Jones is for sale at firentane's,17 Avenue de C Opera. P ican Newspaper agency at 15 King William street, Strand, W. arger circuiation at cheaper rates than any other and by the Amer ondon. ia R, LEE of the workers’ organization uses the wrong letter in the mid- dle of his name. ee THUS FAR the chain of newspapers to boom Cleveland shows nothing but the missing links. sues HE ONLY WAY to get around Speaker Reed's view of a quorum is to have a blind man in the chai 5 Me: FASSETT being present with a hot griddle, the dancing of Tam- many will now be resumed. E MUST SAY that the farmers are entitled to the earth, always provided that they properly cultivate it. THE EDITOR of the Rochester Post Express is so opposed to electrocution that he will kick against it to the end of his rope. should be no record of the events of the turf. Strikes must be ignored— they are irritating. The courts rarely give out anything of a refinit.g or soothing nature, and accordingly the courts should be held with closed doors. Of course there should be no publication of elopements and like scandals, and if there is a disastrous cyclone out west nothing should be Said about that —and nothing regarding blizzards, or the proceedings of the exchanges, or the frequent collisions and losses of life at sea. What the people want is elevating, refining, xsthetic, and soothing matter; and we recall with distress eight double-leaded lines in an evening newspaper devoted solely to the violent taking off by electricity of a Mr. Kemmler. THAT POLITICAL ASTONISHER. LAWYERS, if the farmers’ alliance has its way, will be excluded from office and prohibited from the making of laws. Probably, indeed, the only office-holders and law-makers will be the farmers themselves, always provided they resign as soon as they become competent, Then there arc to be no monopolists, excepting the farmers; and again the tariff is to be amended as often as it hurts their interests. This seems hardly fair; but the two principal parties can stand considerable, without whining, at the hands of an organization that has hundreds of thousands of votes, and that is playing the deuce with such success that it looks like the biggest card in the pack. PURIFYING THE PURPLE. HE DUNLO CASE inspires a writer to say that the mesalliance has been the chief preventive of the descent into idiocy of the British ristocracy, and instances the case of Nell Gwinne. The conclusion is reached by a large jump: but if there is anything better in royal companionship than the shady laws which give a tinge of legitimacy to the union of a bright, alert, act- ive, acting woman of the world with an idle and useless profligate, history hasn't recorded it to any USSELL A. ALGER is a great and good man. At the late gathering in Boston he made hit calling sure—and possibly his nomination, S. QUAY has been in no par- * ticular danger from the at- tacks of the Democratic editors; but, merciful heavens! they have begun to praise him, THE_PARTIES to the farmers— “Gentlemen, we have always loved you, If, at times, our affec- tion has seemed cold it has been owing merely to the inclemency of the weather.” OrnueK pe HIS YEAR has been bad for ice, and now'we are told that there are absolutely no peaches or apples or grapes. We can’t have anything but our good conduct, and there isn't much of that. ZAKING of the duchess of Marlborough's dresses, a writer says her grace has too much adipose We have occasionally observed the same thing in the dressing that prevails at the bathing-places, ssue, If he nybody suppose he ainst the Republican convention which fails to nominate No; he will go to England, marry the queen, and be contented happy. NEED OF SOOTHING NEWSPAPERS. N TELLING the newspapers of this state just what they may and may not print with regard to executions the legislature has introduced a reform the necessity of which, to use a startling expression, has long been felt. But the reform does not go far enough. ‘The newspaper should be debarred the privilege of mentioning murders and accidents. It should give no details of battles, and possibly it should not mention them. Elec tion unpleasantnesses, including the rude and vulgar caucus fight and the stufling of ballot-boxes, should be rigorously The horse-race is bad, to say nothing of the evil practices attending it, and therefore there CHAUNCEY DEPEW is always consistent and reasonable. can't be president of the United Stat will strike a him? does xcluded. GONE TO THE DOGS Pur—* Well, old Graveyard, what's the matter with you?" —"Oh, only another tie-up on the line.” great extent. The morganatic un- ion has produced better blood than the clear purple, and the absence of it has generally been unfortunate. It is wrong, but we are talking now merely of results, THE EASIEST KILLING. MAN can be killed more merci- fully by electricity than in any other way; and to condemn the system because it was not properly applied in the first instance is about as wise as to cry out for the sup- pression of all electricity because it is dangerous if not properly used. It would be as wise to condemn rail- road tracks because men get on them and are run over; or newspapers because a number of them have commented on the Kemmler case after the manner of ducks that know barely enough to make a noise and pick up corn. DIALECT. STUDENT OF LANGUAGE writes for the Chicago Hera/d an article on dia He says the JUDGE prints negro dialect which is not according to the dialectic rules of Mr. Joel Chandler Harris—that the grammar of “is” and “am” is, for instance, incorrectly reproduced. Has it occurred to this learned gentleman that there are more than two or three kinds of black man? The northern black is not the southern one, any more than the Louisiana negro is a Georgia negro. How many dialects are there among white men? We have here a Vermont dialect, a Penn- sylvania dialect, a Hoosier dialect, and so on; but, beyond that, many of our counties have peculiarities of dialect which differ from those of every other county in the state to which they happen to belong. When onc talks of dialect he discusses a something which is not entirely within the guistic geography. Dialect is made by circumstance and surroundings, not by education, It is a trick of the tongue, not of the brain. It is un- ion. It is the customary speech of the persons by whom the subject is surrounded. It has no particular grammar. It has no set form of speech that comes from instruction in spelling or pronunciation. It Considerably higher forms of dialect are those w! land and France, which are not remotel: g the eccentricities of dialect in different portions of ince and England, will the expert dialectician of the Chicago /ferald kindly give us his opinion of them? ject. conscious imi comicbooks.com