Judge — August 16, 1890 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Amcet 1. M. Greco Baunnaeo Gitiam. TERMS TO SU UNITRD STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCK One copy, one year.or 42 numbers One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - One copy: for 13 weeks ‘ Including the Cinasratas Juocr. $3.00 2.90 nas UBSCRIPTIONS— To all for ntries in the postal union, $6 a year. E JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Junce KuILpine), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th St., New York. 47 We guarantee advertivers a American satirical paper published. The Juve is f at Brew ty drenwe de COpera, Paris, and by the Amer~ ican Newspaper agency at 15 King William street, Strand, W.C., Londen. cer circulation at cheaper rates than amy other ANLEY votes with the majority. She says her husband is T IS an expressive remark of the Atlanta Journal that the Georgia boycott is too dead to skin, ‘OYE SEEM to be in for a roasting,” says the editor of the Bos- ton Traveller. Dear sir, it is never too late to mend. ME: ROSSA, late of the undeveloped Irish republic, is selling cigars, and it is thought by some that they are not loaded. THE MAID of Democracy on Grover and David— “If one dear charmer were away I'd be very unhappy with the other.” Ss IMEBODY said the speak- er was “a broken Reed” after the X.M.C.article. Well, he seems to have pulled hin- self together again. Me: JONASSON will stand trial for having said “1 cough at the emperor." If he had said “1 bite my thumb at his majesty” he would have been drawn and quartered. EY SAY DURING that a thou- id lives were lost in one fight in Buenos Ayres. Fool- ish revolutionists! Up here our ammunition is expended ballot-box. THIS COUNTRY will not-again have a civil war; but if there is ever trouble with England or any other power the four sections of it will be so united that such minor things as states will be unthought of until it is necessary to look for them on the map. to eat with his family.” in talk and the result is fixed at the E CAN easily believe Mr. Platt’s alleged statement that he was tired and would retire from politics; but men are as they are made, and if politics doesn’t die he will retire from it some three months after he has learned how to work his angelic wings, H, WATTERSON wrote twenty columns protesting against the Lodge * bill, and all the response in Kentucky was, “Hush up, you blaz= brawler! Come back to your mint.” And now Henry returns and says with undiminished enthusiasm that he wots not and never mint what he said. R. KEMMLER regretted frequently that the law had saved him previous death. It was certainly cruelty; and yet the doctors are guilty of that thing oftencr than the law} However late or early one may die, it is quite likely that one regrets not having done it before. A TRAV R si called in the ys that in Guatemala City the guests of a hotel are morning by flies that is to say, the transom is THE VISIT OF ENLIGHTENMENT. TENANT MAUNDY —"' The great white prince has asked you to his stone kraal Mwacanva or Conco—"' It is good. Ask him if he is to serve up that little fat one.” opened and the flies enter and bite. It has been our impression for some time back that the Guatemala system was in vogue every hour of the day and night in every hotel and private house in this and the sub- urban towns. ANDY’S LIBERTY AS A SERVANT. PRESIDENT JACKSON bought a horse. He had several horses in his stables, but that horse seemed to suit him best. Presently there arose the question, “Why did he buy that horse?” There were a few courteous replies, but they didn’t seem to answer the purpose. It appeared that the horse was a new kind of horse. There was a syndicate of horse-dealers that had’ imported this breed of animal, and it thought that if the president drove his new horse it would thereby advertise itself. “Do you belong to this syndicate?” asked a thousand men and women interested in horses. “What did you give for the horse? Do you like him? Is he spavined or knock-kneed? Does he take his oats regularly ? Do you think he lies down when he sleeps? Have his teeth been filed? Are there flies on him when he has his blanket off? What profit, if any. have you made on the purchase? Don't you think you could have got a better horse for less money?” For a long time President Jackson was courteous and smoked his cob pipe with equanimity; but finally he said to his private secretary with some irritability, “You tell those fellows that I'm as much a sovereign as they are, and like them I buy and sell and go and stay as suits my pleasure, and it’s none of their blank business.” The questions and the buzzing went on, for it was a season of heat and silliness; but President Jackson resumed his cob pipe and smoked as com- fortably as if there had been no impertinence whatever. GO SLOW, JOHN. MB&. WANAMAKER must be more careful. That which used to be indecent is now merely educational. The modern burglar burgles to teach the world how to cope with the ingenuity of crime; and the modern writer writes, not to get a sale for his books, but t6 familiarize the public with theories which perhaps lead to crime, but which create discussion, Let us have more liberty for the press and the educated criminal. MR. BEHRING’S SEA. THE QUESTION with John Bull, according to the Buf- falo Express, is whether to lose Canada or fight Jonathan, Seems to us the question is whether to do right or lose Canada and take a whipping toa; and in case of a fight there would presently be more Canadians for Jonathan than John. But there will be no fight; for Mr. Blaine’s pen, to quote a distinguished authority or two, is mighty and must prevail. STAMP THE GREAT CRIME OUT! HE EARNEST WORDS of President Harrison against the great crime of the state which somebody calls Lotterania are timely and will prove effective. The country cannot afford this blot upon it Men who make laws for the nation, and men who make them for s must see to it that that great system of robbery is destroyed. It has lived long enough to buy the honor of one state. It must not buy that of others, and the nation must set foot on it as it does on all smaller national iniquity. LET THEM HAVE PEACE, E. MUST ask the people of the Central Ameri calm, Nothing is more ¢ a better continental -unders or the other revolutionary being not a theory, but a fact. mouth — the term is not a the gun is not in here, and w' an republics to get couraging during a period of effort for than the violent kicking of the military st government as it exists —the same It is well enough to kick with the absurd as it seems— but that exercise with »pathy with the ballot system which prevails right ¢ in every instance. We look for much conti- result of the pan-American con- in fire-eater must put uth America as a gress; but meanwhile th down his gun, as our mo: nental progress in S comicbooks.com