Judge — August 9, 1890 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 291 “Now, my friend, what will you do with all that money?" said an old gentleman to a tramp to whom he had given a nickel. Zramp (gazing at the coin) — “Well, I guess I'll go to the races and bet some of it. If I lose I reckon I'll spend the summer at Asbury park instead of going to Saratoga."— Texas Siftings, When Baby was sick, wo gave her Castoria. When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria in the low, soft, persuasive voice of an early morning tramp taking a cold-victual census of a quiet neighborhood, “why should I not—ouch ! blazes! gol-lee!" ‘*You should have told me you were coming this evening, Harry,” she said reproach- fully. ‘Those pins in my belt were for George.”"— Chicago Tribune, (DECKER: BROTHERS MATCHLESS PIANOS: i 33 UNION SQUARE. NEW YORK. —10— CENTS = PACKAGE. An all-tobacco, Long Filler Cigarette, the most delicious and wholesome smoke ever offered for the money. CONSOLIDATED CIGARETTE CO, ‘Ave. D and roth St., New York. we cy oe inal relia tates « Gentlemen's Hats Universally acknowledged the BEST that can_be made, Irrespective of Price. Illustrated circular, prices, etc., mailed free on application. \,N. ESPENSCHEID, Salesroom, 118 Nassau St, Y NEW YORK. NEW YORK. Agencies throughout the United States. THE CELEBRATED Are at present the Most Popular and shige ol rest by Leading Artists, Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St., W.Y. SOHMER «& CO. 6 State Street; Saw Fwanctsco, Cat, Union Louis, Mo., 1522 Olive Street ; Kansas, Cwcaco, Club Bui Crry, Mo. CARL PRETZEL'S PHILOSOPHY. Neer borrow to-day v'at you can shteal yesterday. Der race-course of sin und wice don'd vas be pooty smoothness. Vhen your morals vas heldy, dot shplit coat und pan- dyloons vas lookin’ so nice like an angel's nite-gowns, Der brilliant satisfactions to der hooman mind vas oney to been found out in goodness und a wirtuous life. You can get yoost so much religion in der pehind pew of a church-house as you can find in der front seats mit oopholshtered pray-books. Der feller dot don'd get der ambitions to vork for a of dis life to got his shirt-collar dhroo, Mrs, Winstow’s SooTiina Syrup for Children Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarrhara, "25 cents a bottie. MEDITATIONS IN A COUNTRY CHURCH. Oh, keen-eyed youths from college home, ‘Who sit in church behind me; I wonder if you see on me Aught I had not designed me. I wonder if my collar’s straight, And if my pleasing, And what you'd think if T should have An awful fit of sneezing, I wonder if my hair is smooth, And if my hat 's becoming’; I wonder what you're thinking of, And if my charms you're summing. I wonder if you like my gloves, If my whole style is tasteful ; And when I kneel, I wonder if You think my kneeling graceful, T dare not sing the hymns out loud For fear that you might hear me; | For fear that you, when walking home, Might speak of it and jeer me. I'm longing for the time to come When you go back to college, When I can go to church without ‘That scrutiny of knowledge. And when that happy time comes round, Oh, more devout ‘twill find me, For I can better say my prayers Without those eyes behind me —M. C. in Buffalo Express, Boker’s Bitters since 1828 acknowledged to be by far the best and finest Stomach Bitters made, whether taken pure or with wines or liquors AND OTHER CORDIALS, The difference between men's and women's ways is no- where shown so plainly as in trouble. Where woman gives way to a flood of tears man proceeds to put up a few small dams.— Terre Haute Express. Oh, lead our pens in novel ways, ‘Excuse our past offenses ; We pray thee give us something new, There's whiskers on the census. —Washington Star, HE NEW HOLLENDEN, of Cleveland, Ohio, is the ‘most magnificent hotel in’ the west, American and European plans. ‘Thare iz az mutch difference in takt az thare iz in the strength of gunpowder ; sum kinds ov takt lokate their bullets not only right between the eyes, but deep in the meat, while other kinds hit everything. but the centre, and glance oph at that.—Josh Billings. * What is this original-package business?” she asked. “What does it mean?” ** Well," he began explaining, ‘+ we'll say you are one hundred and twenty pounds of honey in a silk and gold and diamond-mounted case. Well, so long as you are in the original wrapper, continued, wrapping his arms about her, “T see now,” she interrupted, ‘but I ‘can’ stand how you are the original wrapper."—//amilton Spectator. ira sted F TeaeAe eae fin’ he got not much pishness to allow some goot tings | We are a little late this week,” explains a Georgia editor. ‘* We loaned our scissors to the barber to cut a friend's hair, and both barber and scissors have been missing since Monday, Hence the delay. “You needn't talk about keeping one’s word,” said a husband to his wife during a slight misunderstanding ; “when I first asked you to marry me you declared that you wouldn't marry the best man in the world.” ‘* Well, I didn’t,” snapped the wife.—Mew York Sun. “Throw physic to the dogs,” and use Angostura Bit- ters for good digestion and a healthy appetite. Sole M'frs, Dr, J.G. B. Siegert & Sons. Ask your druggist. A pretty girl with a horrid cold Spoke to a horrid man And said ‘‘A cold’s a horrid thing,” ‘And then to cough began— “Sometimes I think—in fact I fear"— This said between each cough— “* That by this horrid cold some day I will be carried off.” The horrid man then told anew ory that is old— said he, ‘' that I might be That horrid, horrid cold.” —Whiteside Herald, THE KAISER'S FAVORITE Champagne is ‘Cabinet Sekt,” of Kloss & Foerster, Freyburg. Thomsen & Co., 87 Wall st., sole agents, “« Fellow-citizens !" thundered the impassioned orator, bringing his fist down hard on the table, ‘what, I ask again, is our country coming to? And’ echo answers “What? Pardon me, sir,” interposed a mild-looking man in the audience, rising to his feet ; ‘did I under- stand your question tobe, ‘What is our country com- to?” "Yes, “And you say echo answers “That is what I said, sir." ‘* Then there's ing wrong with the acoustics of this building, said the mild-looking man, shaking his head in a pe plexed way and sitting down again.—Chicago Tribune, INCAMP Athome, abroad, tramping, yacht- ing, canoeing, hunting or fishing, Armour’s Beef Extract Is Indispensable. Requires only the addition of boiling water to make delicious, Bouillon. Refreshing and strengthening. ‘Takes the place of fresh meat and other “Stock” in Soup making. Is cheaper and more convenient. ARMOUR &CO. Chicago, Sole Manufacturers. SOLD EVERYWHERE. WRICHT & DITSON, LARGEST MAKERS OF FINE LAWN TENNIS GOODS IN THE WORLD, OUR SPECIALTIES. CHAMPIONSHIP BALL. Adopted by every association otnate in the Uniran. Staves ETS isn,” and’ Sta WRIGHT & DITSON'S Ov rician Law Tenn Guin, Cota ules, Photograph Bihyern Avucies os toe Came, ete. “Dy Maily35 Cents ‘580 WASHINGTON ST., BOSTON, MASS, 15,2 6 0), 20- A MONTH can be made work: —=t0 ing for us. Persons preferred ‘Stho ean furnish’ horse and give their whole time to the busi ess. Spare moments may be profitably employed also. A few vacancies in towns and cities |: F, JOHNSON & CO., 1009 Main St., Richmond, Va, Send for Catalogue.) C. F. MILBURN Recommends THE GREAT WAGON-MAKER OF TOLEDO, OHIO, BRADYCROTINE AS CERTAIN TO CURE HEADACHE. comicbooks.com