Judge — June 7, 1890 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN UTTER FAILURE. Dick (for whom three is a crowd) —''I left my sketch-book up at the house, Effie, Wouldn't you like to look at it?” Errir— Ever so much. Run and get it, won't you? Molly says it’s the funniest thing she ever saw in her life.” AMERICAN NOBLES. $6] THINK it’s so strange that you don’t have titles in this country, doncher know,” said an English traveler to a native passenger with whom he had scraped acquaintance on the limited, “No titles?” exclaimed the American. “Why, we've got ‘em. mean dukes, baronets, earls, lords and the like,” explained the man from the old country. “That's what I mean, We've got the whole outfit over here, except perhaps a king or two, for of course I don't count iron kings, petroleum kings and the like. But we've the genuine nobility all the same. “You surprise me! I had been led to suppose otherwise; that republican simplicity banished all titles of nobility.” You've been imposed upon, my dear friend, by what you have read in the newspapers. Of course you know that the president's title is ‘his excellency.’” Yes; I'd heard that.” “And that aldermen of the city of New York bear the title of grand auto- erat, which is, I believe, a grade or two higher than anything you have in England.” “LT hadn't heard of that.” “Then, sir, you have much to learn. Besides these exalted dignitaries, the lower orders of the nobility are too numerous to mention. I may add that I was talking to the duke of New Jersey only a little while before I got on the train.” The Englishman opened his eyes wide, took out a memorandum-book and a pencil, and said, “I must put that down.” “Yes; his S Wy a grace was talk- = ro A ing to Lord Bal- THE FISHING CRAZE AT BARNEGAT. timore "—— 5 WEAKFIsi —‘‘ Somebody's sent us one of those pretty “Well,now,” Japanese portiéres, dear.” interrupted the Englishman, “that title has a familiar sound after all.” “Doubtless you remember hearing of the nobleman who settled Maryland and conferred his name upon the town which afterward became the chief city of the state?” “Ab, yes; that was it.” “Well, the present Lord Baltimore is the sixth of the line.” “An!” “Why, Baron Leeflard of Chicago is on this very train. His eldest brother is Lord Milwaukee, and his lordship married the eldest daughter of the duke of Leadville. The native paused while the visitor made a few entries in his note-book, and then he resumed. “But we needn't go so far for scions of the American nobility. Behold : one in me!” A DISREGARD FOR THE EXPENSE. “And what is your title?” asked the Englishman, moistening his pencil. Mr. Bouter (tho has heen out a little too long)—"C-can't we “Tam the grand duke of Squedunk.” run in n-now?’ And as the Englishman recorded this important announceinent in ‘Skirrer—"'Got ter take another tack, sir.” es k , ¥ 3 Min HoLugn n= Use th whole pepaper of’m if itll fetch us any HS note-book the grand duke of Squedunk went forward to smoke @-q-quicker. I'll pay for 'm !" “twofer.” wa, H. SIVITER, comicbooks.com