Judge, 1890-05-10 · page 7 of 16
Judge — May 10, 1890 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"A Wedding-Gift Astray"** mocks a German professor (likely an immigrant, given the dialect spelling "dot" for "that") who receives credit for an umbrella jar he didn't give, while secretly lamenting a lost beer mug from Munich's Saingerbund (singing society). **"Sentences Passed by the Judge"** offers aphoristic social commentary on women's reasoning, sentimentality, and expectations—typical Victorian-era gender satire. The quip about casting bread upon waters returning as pound-cake mocks people's unrealistic hopes. **"Signs of the Times"** satirizes newspapers exploiting fear about crime ("death, the killer") to advertise patent medicines like sarsaparilla. **"Sweidelbecker's Furnace"** appears to reference German immigrant housing conditions in tenement districts. The illustrations, including "The Grasshopper and the Aunt," suggest Aesop's fable adaptations. Overall, the page targets immigrants (Germans specifically), Victorian sentimentality, and commercial quackery.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
— ? O MAI what I told her, Was it grave or was it gay, She looked so interested And she smiled in such a way That I thought how very charming ‘ould be to have her go Just listening on forever, With her “Is That “Ts ‘That So?" But as the months sped onward I found her pretty head Held thoughts as few within it As the words so often said, And when I told I loved her, And begged my fate to know, She was quite too aggravating With her A WEDDING-GIFT ASTRAY. Mrs, Buissomz—'‘I haven't had a chance to thank you for that lovely umbrella-jar, professor It's exquisite !” Pi SOR BAUMGARTNER—" Don'd mention (To himself) —" Ohf dot Saingerbund saw dot Munich bier-mug insulded like dot dey vould pe a riod EXPLAINED. Editor —* Mr, Palmethouse, what do you mean by this sentence—‘ Future ages will cer applaud the act with both hands and fect while the present age flops its cars in a endeavor to sweep the cobwebs of doubt from the skies’ ?” Editorial writer (blushing) —“1 must have thought, sir, that I was still on a Chicago newspaper.” SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. FOR patient waiting commend me to a woman or to God. The incomprehensible are the things most admired and desired, One half of the world is steeped in sentiment and the other half languishes in a dull respectabilit Woman is a reasoning—if an unreasonable—animal, She reasons when she wishes to; otherwise not. Most people who make a business of casting bread upon the waters expect it to come back pound-cake. A perfect gentleman is the noblest work of society. ‘The perfect man belongs to an order of things not yet. It is a law that all bread cast upon the waters shall return; but expectation often grows weary waiting for the tide. One often thinks of a pretty man, “What a nice litle woman he would make.” But never of a mannish woman, “What a manly man,” SIGNS OF THE TIMES. TIlE papers at this trying time All speak of death, the killer ; We're told to take, in prose and rhyme, Somebody's sarsaparilla, A SPRING CHEST- NUT. Giles —" What's the matter?” Brown—“"That fence was marked paint." Giles—"And you got some on you? = : Brown—"No. 1 SWEIDELBECKER'S FURNACE. touched it and found it FOR USE IN THE GERMAN TENEMENT-DISTRICT, was dry.” THE GRASSHOPPER AND THE AUNT.