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Judge, 1890-04-19 · page 5 of 16

Judge — April 19, 1890 — page 5: what you’re looking at

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Judge — April 19, 1890 — page 5: Judge, 1890-04-19

What you’re looking at

This page contains several satirical pieces critiquing Victorian social conventions and government inefficiency: **"Owed to My Mother-Hubbard"** mocks women's restrictive fashion. The poem celebrates the loose Mother Hubbard dress (comfortable, unstructured) while lamenting that wearing it publicly invites ridicule and police intervention—satirizing how society polices women's bodies and choices. **"The Luxury Acknowledged"** jokes about police corruption: a hackman (taxi driver) arrests a man for saying he wanted to go to "heaven," treating it as suspicious. The humor exposes casual absurdity in law enforcement. **"His Interest in It"** satirizes hypocrisy: a man complains vehemently about ugly government postage stamps while admitting he never writes letters or receives mail—attacking those who pontificate about issues without genuine stake in them. **"In a Street-Car"** depicts a man attempting to flirt with every woman, only to be embarrassed when he succeeds in charming what he thought was a baby girl—revealing the foolishness of his presumptuous behavior. The page overall targets social pretense, fashion tyranny, and masculine arrogance.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OWED TO MY MOTHER-HUBBARD. 1 HEE I salute, thou light and graceful gown ; Thou garment void of bustle hook or steel! When I the curséd garb of style can peel Off from my frame and let thy folds fall down In easy lines, unchecked by belt, the frown My fair brow leaves ; I smile once more and feel New joy in life, I dance, I shout, I kneel In earnest prayer to her whose high renown, Fills all the land. Oh, Mother H., thy name | . : sus 4 Is dear to queen and serving-maid. The gift 3 \ au oh TELS ULTPEN Tete Of this most comfortable gown outweighs The wealth of mines, the laurel wreath of fame ; And grateful women clad in it shall lift ‘Their voices loud in joyous hymns of praise. n, Ah, that dear Hubbard, warm and soft and big ; How gladly would I wear it all the day ! The heavy sighs that rend my heart betray My pain when forced to don another rig. For fashion’s dictates care I not a fig ; But if I wore it on the broad highway Full well I know what tyrant man would say- ‘The creature,wants all ease himself, the pig— I know what smiles would pass from lip to lip, Though meek my bearing and demure my face ; I hear the small boy shriek beyond control, THE LUXURY ACKNOWLEDGED. And ere I could one draught of freedom sip, Hackman (in Captain Reilly's tenderloin precinct) —"' \V've brought him in, Close on my heels in red-hot, frantic chase : ' SeRGEANT—''I see you have, What has he done?" ‘Would come policemen and the Joud patrol, Hackax—' I asked him where he wanted to go an’ he said ‘heaven,’ an’ T GRONctANA was thought, puttin’ two an’ two together, sir, I'd fetch him here."* HIS INTEREST IN IT. ‘<THE kind of stamps this government is issuing to the people of this country is simply an insult to their intelligence!” exclaimed a man jn the cigar-store. “First, there was the sickly green, and now comes the inartistic red. It’s an outrage, Is “How many letters have you sent away this week?” asked a quiet man with a clean collar, fone. Why Have you written a letter ii month?” no; I dont chink I have. “In six months?” “Well, perhaps not. Why “Have you received a letter in that time, except perhaps one or two dunning you for bills long overdu “See here, sir! why are you asking these questions?” But ave you?" No, I haven't, if you must know; but why are you asking?” “Oh, I just wanted to know about how much personal interest you had in this postage- stamp question. That's al POETS are champions of truth, With indignation’s fire. In every age on history's CHAWLEY SaiTH—"' I'm going home for my dog. page ‘There is a man dwowning in the wiver. ‘Ta-ta.” Mark how they ‘strike the lyre.” IN A STREET-CAR. S49 IS such a great delight to me to mash the girls; he maid may wear a straight-cut bang, she may wear curls, I never met too shy a one to flirt with me— ‘The old, the young, the large, the small, as you shall see, ‘They can't resist my fascinating smile, So now behold me in my réle a little while. ‘The babe beyond reclining on her nurse's knee Will soon begin a-smiling at coquettish me.” ‘This conversation ‘twist two swells I overheard And watched with interest ‘ntense what then occurred, He donned his most enslaving smile, quite confident, Persistently his melting glance at baby sent; When smiles and dimples quickly wreathed the baby's face, And tiny hand tossed off a kiss with cunning grace! VAGUE LONGINGS. But when he left the car and beamed with victor's joy Pave (msding tela) cerca The nurse laughed outright—said to me, The babe's a boy f° Vircixia—* Umpah ! Paul.” LENA GILRRRT RROWN. Pavt,—"* Doan’ yo" wish mammy 'n pappy ‘d go 'n die?”