Judge — April 5, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JU COCKNEY CONSOLATION. THE chaplain taught and preached it constantly For everything they. ought— For broken limbs or sickness—thankful be, Nor grumble, but the thought ‘That ‘twas no worse to them should comfort be ; And then they'd at their call A hospital besides! Thus thoroughly Imbued became they all With this idea, and through all their say Did nurse and patient spread This leavening text. A man named ‘Opkins lay Upon his dying bed. A wicked man was he; and, taken worse One night, the chaplain gave Strict orders to be wakened to the nurse Should there be symptoms grave. To give due consolation to his mind Before he left this shore He wished, but in the morn he rose to find DGE SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. RDER is’sanity; disorder is insanity. Sympathy is the key that unlocks humanity. Love of self is never so hateful as: when disguised as love of another. The child is wiser in his childishness than the philoso- pher in his wisdom, When love begins to antici- pate receiving rather than giv- ing, then set guard on love. The fool is unconscious of “his folly; but the foolishness of the wise man burns like a coal in his bosom. THE LAST STAGE OF THE MEERSCHAUM-SMOKER. ‘That ‘Opkins was no more. He'd not been called ; so for the nurse he sent To rate him well and chide For his neglect, and ask him what he meant he nurse abashed replied, “Hi gave ‘im consolation, sir." Perplexed ‘The chaplain with stern eye Demanded what he said to him, and vexed Received this prompt reply ““Opkins,” Hi said, ‘you're going soon to die!” “Ti know it well," 'e said, “'Opkins, you're wery bad, you know,” said Hi ‘Hi know't! Hi know’t!"'e said. ‘Opkins, to “eavi ‘Hi s'pose not,’ ’e replied. ‘Opkins, you'll ‘ave to go to ‘ell, Hi'm ‘fraid." ‘Hi'm ‘fraid so,’ ‘e replied. * You hought be wery thankful then,’ said Hi, “As som'un did perwide A place for you to go to when you die!" “Hand then—Opkins ‘e died !” n you cawn't go,” Hi said. A MAN THEREIN. moon reminds me of China, Mr. Goslin.” “Why, Miss Amy? “Because the eeTH mandarin.” “ D° YOU entertain my proposal ‘That we two, dearest, married shall be 7" * No, U don't entertain your proposal ; Your proposal, though, entertains me.” “A WHOLE EVENING Mr. t Astor opera last night ?" MARRE yf the “Did you Mrs. Van Astor —" No; not very much. I couldn't hear more than half of Mrs, Van Cortlandt’s conversat her box is only the third from ours.” EASTER SUNDAY. ER Sunday now is come ; Strip the blooming garden bowers ! Deck the altar and the house With fair flowers, Easter Now sweet harmonies we hear, On the air the music swells, Filling all our hearts with cheer— Easter songs and bells, and see them smile! Natu © wonders as they don it— Such a miracle of style— Lovely Easter bonnet ! the Rubicon of A PRESENT FROM HOME. THe Lerter (accompanying the gift) Ill, Dear Wingate—Your letter, saying you Had jin away hunt, is to hand. Your mother and [are a but if you = thin’ to keep your ears warm. I shot the mink sewed it together. true and affectionate he actors made so much noise that and you know CORDIAL BUT ILLOGICAL. ONES was quite struck by: the appear- ance of a guest.at an evening party whose name he did not know but whose face was fami “Beg pardon,” he said, going up to him, “I think we have met before.”” “That is my impression.” it wasn't at New Orleans, was it?” No; I've never been ther or I either,” replied Jones in a burst of illogical enthusiasm. ar, TIME IS MONEY. Mrs. MeCrackle — That new clock, is gaining half an hour a day.” MeCrackle— gh! Tt will soon make enough time to pay for itself.” jood “ill go gunnin’ we thought you ought to ha the nursery Hooks Valley, ed the Rock- bit an; and mother FATHER.” THE STAGE-MANAGER (as Richard ///, g trvcen his legs) Mr. Des 1c hit it off bette Tears are productive of nothing save red eyes after one has crossed threshold. If familiarity breeds contempt contin- ued formality breeds an atmosphere more chill than that surrounding polar seas. Nature conducts her squadrons on the plan of self-defense; and few of her creat- ures are noxious till provoked to venom. It is one thing to declare independ- ence and another to make that decla- ration good by a rigid line of serious think- ing and earnest living The knight of the nineteenth century needs not to go forth in search of deeds to fit his prowess. In the living of each day comes opportunity to prove himself a hero. The cager impatience of the child has no part in the man grown, The good is on ‘ts way and that sufficeth him, since he knows that it always brings as its shadow the thing that men call ill. An ant-hill in a grass-plat_and a mountain in a hemisphere compare favor- ably to the indiscriminating mind; and your local poet is voted a marvelous fel- low for three miles around. When a man fancies himself in love with two women at the same time it is safe to conclude that he is in love with neither the one nor the other, but with certain characteristics of each. kaTunine DSJRAN. WITH THE AMATEURS. s his stvord be- *T trust that the audience will he lenient with his is his first Shakespearean réle.” n the rear) —" Would Shakespearean tumble r? comicbooks.com