Judge, 1890-03-29 · page 22 of 28
Judge — March 29, 1890 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, not political satire. The dominant content consists of commercial advertisements for consumer products (complexion powder, tea, crackers, soap, insurance, and travel services). The only satirical content is **"Carl Pretzel's Philosophy,"** a humor column featuring a character with a German accent offering folksy observations. Pretzel appears to be a working-class ethnic character—common in early-20th-century American humor—dispensing wisdom about human nature in fractured English ("shtinger," "gharackder," "pishness"). The jokes rely on wordplay and observations about rural life rather than political commentary. The **Sapolio soap advertisement** uses the slogan "Who wins the eyes, wins all," promoting appearance-consciousness to consumers. Overall, this represents Judge's commercial model: entertainment and light humor surrounding paid advertising for the affluent readership of that era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
414 JUDGE COMPLEXION POWDER Is an absolute necessity ofa refined toilet in this climate POZZONI'S MEDICATED COMPLEXION POWDER Combines every element of beauty and purity. SOLD EVERYWHERE. Established 18or. Bent & Co’s celebrated hand-made water crackers. Guaranteed absolutely pure. Hand-made from choicest flour. They are easy of digestion. Recom- mended by eminent physi- ns both sides the Atlan- tic. Get only the genuine, which bear the stamp of the makers, For more than s four-score years the Crack- ers have been unequaled for their excellence and their superior keeping qualities. | They are sold by first-class grocers everywhere. BENT & CO., Milton, Mass. Who wing s the eyes.wins you regard \PP cer CARL PRETZEL'S PHILOSOPHY. Vickedness bites you mit his shtinger. put some salve on dot. Der flounces on some people’s gharackder vas sewed on mit der thread of pride und self-eshteems. Der Almighdy gif efery man yoost so much sense— yoost enuff to keep him busy mindin’ his own pishness. Der reason vhy der noses of some peoples vas flat like der deuce vas on ackound of dheir shduckin’ it against anoder feller’s preambles. Wirtue vas ** People are always agitated,” remarks the Baltimore American, a sort of trouble that soon blows over.” It doesn’t require a very a conversation like the followi ‘Time, about now ; lace, over east. Farmer (plowing greensward) — * Jolin, go up to the house and mow the lawn.” Jon (cutting ice on an adjacent pond)—"* All right. Jast as soon as I shovel through the drifts down by the orchard so Sal can get home, She’s down there in the ham- mock.” Farmer (wiping perspiration from his brow) — “ Where's L John (from the depths of his ulster) —"'Gone to the lake with her skates and her bathing- suit. Said she didn’t know which she'd need.” Vorce (from the house) —"' Here's a tramp lying here, He's been sunstruck.” Farmer —‘*Drag him into the shade, can't ye?" Voice—"'No. His coat's froze fast to the ground."—Berkshire News. -T2i-T- Call and Try our Celebrated THREE BLENDS « "TEA, SERVED BY ATTENDANT IN PARLOR, THE ASSOCIATED TEA PLANTERS (L't’d) | OF LONDON, 116 West 23d St., New York. E ‘at the approach of a cyclone, and yet it is | imagination to evolve | EARANC you will tainly use use SAPOLIO- Send for Application Blanks and Secure Accident Insurance at Actual Cost. PROVIDENT FUND SOCIETY 280 Broadway, New York. Is pronounced by Insurance Agents and experts to be the simplest, cheapest and best plan of Accident Tnsuraace yet presented. 85000—Life Indemnity. 85000— Loss of hand and foo $2500—Permanent Disability: $1250-Loss of hand or foot. nt 250— Lone of By 25 per week while disabled by reason of an ac- Cidertal Injury, not exceeding 8% weeks. Total cost to member $14 per year, which may be paid in one payment, oF in payments of $2 each, at the ‘option of the ‘ont: 4. N. LOCKWOOD, President. —AND— Round the World. EUROPE 4s aut pa dng freemen ong we son bow ndys dan be hia oa Zpplcnin a THOS. COOK & SON, 261 & 1226 Broadway, N. Y. WITHOUT STARVATION. DIET. STOUT ee Ettore Pe ETECTIVES JOOK'S Select Tours to PEOPLE! WEIGHT REDUCED call’ cg in house-cleaning:Sapolio -is asolid cake of scouring~- ‘| soap ‘Try itin house-cleaning. * NEW *« AND * NOWEL * USES * FOR * SAPOLIO * EVERY ONE FINDS A NEW USE. To clean tombstones. To polish knives. To renew oil-cloth. Ministers to renovate old chapels. Sextons to clean the tombstones. Cooks to clean the kitchen sink. Chemists to remove some stains. Carvers to sharpen their knives. Painters to clean off surfaces. To brighten metals. To wash out sinks. To scour kettles. EVERYBODY Soldiers to brighten their arms. Artists to clean their palettes. Dentists to clean false teeth. Confectioners to scour their pans. Mechanics to brighten their tools. To scrub floors. To renovate paint. To scour bath-tubs. USES: IT To whiten marble. To clean dishes. To remove dust. Hostlers on brasses and white horses. Housemaids to scrub the marble floors. Shrewd ones to scour old straw hats. Surgeons to polish their instruments. Engineers to clean parts of machines. comicbooks.com