Judge — March 15, 1890 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Nebraska farmers cannot get their corn to market be- cause of the ruinous freight-rates charged by the rail- roads. But they are at liberty to go down to the tracks and sce the members of their legislature and the judges of their courts ride by on free passes.—Chicago Nevws, Foreign visitor (to New Yorker in midwinter, 1890) . —"'What a delightful climate you have: iid and pleasant! It doesn't seem a bit like winter.” Little Gotham gir!—" Oh, it isn't winter yet. Our winters don’t generally begin till spring."—New York Weekly. When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria. When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria When sho bad Children, she gave them Castoria This story is told of a French professor in a western university: One morning he was the only member of the faculty who was present at prayers. After waiting for some time he rose and said, "* Gentlemen, ze pray- ing professor is not come. [am an infidel. "You are deesmeesed.”” the reporter said ; *T guess he's worth’a one-line head. Wicked old file, drunk half the time, ‘Yoo mean to give a beggar a dime !" But the editor howled in an awful way, * Why, old B—'s worth a column display ! What's that, sir ve a care K— was our biggest millionaire —Pittsburg Bulletin Have you used! Packer's Tar Soap for the Complexion or Shampooing ? Its use is a luxury; imparting clear, soft, smooth, healthful skin and vigorous hair; cures Dandruff and Skin Diseases ; prevents Chappi 25 cents, All Druggists. CH-For sample mention Judy Tur Packer M'r'c C and send 4 stamps to 100 Fulton St., N.Y. fi VERY BEST ALL-TOBACCO CIGARETTES On the Market. SMOKE NO OTHER, Consclidated Cigarette pany. ‘Ave Dasd 10081, 8.¥. DICTATION, LITERARY OR TECHNICAL, At Office or Residence. jaa oom STENOGRAPHERS. JUDGE BUILDING. THE CELEBRATED Are at peesent the Payer} Popstar and Perl by Leading Artist Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St., W. ¥. SOHMER «& CO, Prorapeurata, Pe., 1318 Chestnut Street; Curcaco, Ttt., 2x6 State Street ANCISCO, Cat. Union Ciub Building Louis, Mo., 1522 Olive Street; Kansas City, Mo., 1123 Main St eRICe MANUFACTURED Y W.BARKER Rov ny. 25F ‘ASK YOUR DEALER FOR IT. Speaker Reed would not exchange his present position for that of umpire of the best base-ball club in America. He is more absolutely the boss where he is and is in less danger from the bawl than he might be from the ball. —Dallas (Tex.) Nevws, Mrs. Winstow's SootiIna SyruP for Children Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarrhea, 25 cents a bottle. Miss Minnie—* Mr. Fi g, you really must buy a ticket for our ball. It is for the benefit of a poor, starv- ing dress-maker.” Figg —'* But is she really deserving, do you think?" Afiss Minnie —"' | know she is. She has done lots of work for the girls of our set and always lets us set our own price.”— Terre Haute Express. “Throw physic to the dogs,” and use Angostura Bit- ters for good digestion and a healthy appetite. Sole M'frrs, Dr. J.G. B. Siegert & Sons. Ask your druggist. In Ellendale, N, D., little Freddy died. He was en- tirely worthy of this poetic gem in the Commercial : “« Freddy was a dear, loving child, His face uncommon sweet, is voice was music like a bird That comes with joy to greet.” “Thank God! there is one man who never spoke a cross word to his wife,” said Sam Jones at an Omaha meeting the other night, as a round-faced, good-natured man rose in response to Sam's question if'such a person was present. ‘The good-natured man smiled a bland smile and said, “I haven't any wife, I'm a bachelor !" “There is nothing like will power,” said Professor Davis to the normal students, according to the Clarion Jacksonian. “Mf you don't want the grip, firmly deter- ‘mine that you won't have the disease.” A few dayslater the principal did not appear at chapel exercises, and to the young men who found him replied, ** A lack of will power. IT’S ALL THE RAGE to have the delicious ‘Cabinet Sekt" fashionable entertainments. to all others. CARL PRETZEL'S PHILOSOPHY. Tt vas der olt fellers dot makes goot oxamples on ac- kound dhey don’d vas able to follow ‘em. Der bad andicks of some mens vas only a lite-house to gafe warnin’ to odders dot dhere vas plaindy rocks | of dheir flyin’ chipboon. ‘etnesses of some fellers did gafe ockasion to der oxercise of a goot much many pooty goot disbosi- tions on der hearts of besser peoples. ‘The lands of the Sioux Are open, ‘tis trioux, ‘To the hardy white settler who likes all things nioux ; But what will he dioux When the frolicsome Sioux Swoops down on him, scalps him and chops him in tioux. —Chicago Mail, MANY MEN OF MANY MINDS proclaim ** Rex Wheat" young, delicious and the best known food for old and vigorating. A friend of ours traveling in the west put up with a farmer who had a number of children and asked, ** How many children have you?" ‘* Well,” replied the farmer, “there's. Mary and ‘Yom and Bill and Elizabeth and Jane and Peter and Jacob and Priscilla and Josephine and Hezekiah—ten,” said he, numbering them off on his fingers. ‘I have ten." One of his daughters cried out, ‘* Why, father, you forgot the baby !" “So I did,” said he, “We have eleven.” About two hours after- wards the guest looking out of the window saw the hired man driving hogs, and turning to the farmer, said : * How many hogs have you?" ** Eighty-three,” was the answer, and he hit it right the first time.—Christian Advocate, ering with the grip"he champagne at | Kaiser Wilhelm perfers it | | 28S 19—1107 Broadway. A detective is really an artist on the “* Commercial. “Mr. Hankinson, you will excuse me if I receive you in the dining-room this evening.” ‘* Don't mention it, Miss Kajones, It is much more cozy and home-like.” “It is not on that account, Mr. Hankinson, but Bridget has gone into the parlor to take a nap on the lounge, and given orders that she must not be disturbed Chicago Tribune, In youth's bright morn he {eels ambition’s thrill ‘And in the field of human strife engages, Resolved to make a glorious name that will Go thundering down the ages. When age has carved its wrinkles on his brow And he has drank in life more gall than nectar He's very happy if he gets a place As custom-house inspector. —Boston Courier. NEW KODAKS “You press the button, we do the rest.” Seven New Stvles and Sizes Transparent Films. all Photo, Stock Dealers. THE EASTMAN COMPANY, or Catalogue, For sale by Send Rochester, N. Y. Agencies for ESPENSCHEID'S Celebrated Hats are about be- ing established throughout the United States. If not yet to be obtained in your city send for ‘Illustrated’ Circular” of Spring Styles, giving directions How to Order,” prices, etc., direct to New York salesroom, as per Trade Mark, which is a guarantee of Style and Quality NEW® YORK. wherever found, WILL NEVER HAVE H E HIS FACE CHAP WHO USES - COLGATE’'S SHAVING SOAP. For sample send 2 cts. box 645, New York, YOUMANS ELEBRATED HATE. Style and Quality Unequatled. ury, and not a low-priced article. Our Vanity 16 First-prize Medals. PREMIERE QUALITE OIG JARETTE. SUPERB ARTICLE. The standard of purity and excellence. tobaccos prevents that dryness of the throat usually produced by smoking other brands. A prejudice to prevent you from giving this incomparable cigarette a trial, The faultless union of two matchless Do not allow It is simply peers) and a lux- ‘air and other smoking mixtures are the finest for the pipe. Wm. S. KIMBALL & Co. comicbooks.com