Judge — February 8, 1890 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

296 JUDGE If a lovely woman smacks me on one cheek I will turn her the other also.—/osh Billings “Well, Augustus,” said a vapid youth who was proud- ly making a confession of various entanglements, “* we all have our troubles, haven't we? Perhaps there is a skeleton in your own closet ! eh, old boy?” ‘0, deah, no; you must have caught a glimpse of my twouser stwetcher."— Washington Capital, Pairs CHUTES) MAND A IN_AN OFFICE BUILDING OR HOTEL AS MUCH A NECESSI- TY AS AN ELEVATOR, wry aL- LOW YOUR MAIL TO BE HANOLED BY IRRESPONSIBLE " MESSENGERS WHEN THE U. 8. BONDED CARRIERS WILL DO IT REGULARLY AND FREET NOW IN ALL FIRST-CLASS BUILDINGS, Atoness ‘Take no shoes unless W. L. Dougtas’ name and pi CAUTIO ‘dre stamped on boctoua. If jealer cannot suppl Sead direct te Exctory, enclosing advertized price. DOUGL/ $3 SHOE cence. ne Calf Laced Grain andCreedmore Water EERE, Gar claims for this Shoe over all ocker Tecontains better material. Tt te moro stylish, better fiuting'and durable. “It gives better general eatlafaction: te due to merit. Tt cannot be duplicated St eee Le te had GOUGLAS, Hreckton, paidton Toany person who will prove the acmenta we becatrae, | ELEGANT HOLIDAY PRESENT. Fountain and Stylo Pens. A Good, Reliable Stylographic Pen for $1. Fountain Pen, $2. Star Fountain Pen, $1.50 and upward, Best Writing Pen Ever Offered to the Public, AT A PRICK WITHIN THE REACH OF ALL Unequaled for Business or General V THE INDEPENDENT P Atted with » Fountal is a 14 kt. GOLD PEN or Reservoir Holder, and and Gold Pen In one. Send for Descriptive Circular, Trial Order Solicited AGENTS WANTED. J. 0, ULLRICH Liberty Street, N. ASTHMA CURED FREE. SAMPLE bottle of BRONCHOLINE will be ‘gat Zee on application to D. H. Fi “Ask your drug nt to any address for ‘Send for /rce sample bottle and test A Double-feed Fountain Pen that Never Fails. CAW’S INK & PEN CO., 157 BROADWAY, N. Y. Mottet’s Olive Oil, The standard of Purity. The perfection of excellence. Used by the best families here and in Europe it once and you will want it always. Sold by all principal ‘and gists. imported by ‘Charles W. Nolen, Wholesale Agest 118 Chesinet St, Phiade The deaf mute has the English language at his fin- gers’ ends.—Philadeiphia Inquirer, When a woman wants the earth it is with a view to giving it to some man.— Boston Courier, Unlike the majority of things in this queer world, fogs are always mist until they are gone,—Baltimore American. There is only one cure for a swelled head and that is to have the patient's four-year-old boy strike a question- ing streak.—Philadelphia Inquirer, It was the Presbyterian pastor's little daughter (in these creed-revising times) who asked, ‘* Papa, do you believe in a personal Santa Claus?"—Buffalo Express, ““Whar's Bill?" ‘*Gone ter heaven, I guess. “Guess so, Tried to ride my broncho.” ** Whar’s he buried?” ** Ain't buried. He never come **Benzine Bill” is the suggestive sobriquet of a Kan- sas man who proposes to do missionary work in Oklaho- ma. He ought to make a bright and shining light.— Chicago Tribune, CONSUMPTION CURED. cian, retired from practice, had placed in bis in East Thdian missionary the formula of a simple vegetable remedy for the speedy and permanent cure of Con- sumption, Bronchitis, Catarrh, Asthma and all Throat and Lung Affections, also a positive and radical cure for Nervous Debility and all Nervous Complaints. Having tested its won- derful curative powers in thousands of cases, and desiring to relieve human suffering, I will send free of charge to all who wish it, this recipe in German, French or English, with full directions for preparing and using. Sent by mail by Sdgressin Mabel (to Jack, who is about to drink her health for the ninth time)—" Oh, I wouldn't, Jack. Drink to me only with thine eyes’ instead fack—"* All right. Well—er—here's looking at you."—Harvard Lampoon. ‘Twelve-tingered freaks astound no more, For steam-tugs we may find That often have their tows before And frequently behind. —Philadelphia Press, “Prisoner, have you anything to say in your de- fense?" ‘Your honor, I beg you to consider before pronouncing the sentence that the only reason I steal 1s so as not to be loafing about the streets all day."— Fliegende Blittter, Here lies the body of Moses Draper (Tread softly ye who pass), Who lived till sixty without a paper ‘And then blew out the gas. —Rock Valley Register. Read replies to Bishop McQuaid in the February number of College and School, eel THE BEST. IFEINsURAN AT THE LEAST COST MODERN METHODS Home OrFice. PHILA.Pa “No use,” exclaimed an impecunious debtor to_an importunate creditor: "you can't get blood out of a tumip."" 1 know that,” responded the creditor, “but unless I get that money I'll have gore from a beat.” Philadelphia Press. Rowland’ QOdonto A Rare, Fragrant, non-Gritty Tooth Powder, Wh: cae tee Beatty Prevents end rresce Deon tiaras the Gums and Sweetens the Breath. Ask Druggist for Rowland’s Odonto, of 20 Hatton Garden, Lo don, England. HANINGTON'S i Linen novelties fog tiles, eable-scarts, lashers, ete. Send stamp for illustrat: ed circular, 116 Franklin st., New York. © COLLARS & CUFFS MEN'S WEAR The Montauk Camera. Price, complete, covered Size, 6x7 210, In Seal Leather, $25.00. Affords pleasant pastime forall. It is designed for taklog Instantancoasly objects in motion or stationary. Views, por- traits, fash fight pleturea, ete Sample photograph and descriptive circalar will be mailed free on application to Cc. CENNERT, Manufacturer, 54 East 10th Street, New York. A PERFECT FITTING GLOVE I8 A LUXURY. Wee are professional cutters and glove-manufacturers, and make our gloves from the measure, Our driving-gloves are Beauties. “Deformed hands fitted. Send two-cent stamp for catalogue and suggestions for self-measurement. HATHORN & MOORE Johnstown N.Y. Derby Desks FINE OFFICE FURNITURE. JOHN M. TUFTS, 130 Fulton St., NE, cor. Nassau, Sexp ron CataLoove. RUPTURE CURED | WITH our Improved Elastic Truss. Worn with ease night and day. Retains the rupture under the hardest exercise orseverest strain. Examination free. Lady in attendance for la- dies. Send for pamphlet. IMPROVED ELASTIC. TRUSS CO., ‘S22 & 824 Broadway, cor. 12th St., New Vor it \ Broadway, cor. Hth Street, New York, 6 o Ss ey okt uf prools FREE. Meation this paper. NET INCOME % farm properties, and our 6% Debenture Bonds, amply secured, offer the high- est interest consistent with safety. Unequaled for conservatism, morT BOSTON, CACESDEBEN,, COMPANY. CAPITAL AND SURPLUS, $265,000. LONDON, and business men. Principal and semi- wnnual interest payable in New York ‘allor write for full particulars. Spe- URE offerings of high-grade invest. ment bonds LOANS NEGOTIATED, $5,125,000. TOPHREA. JONES & FAILE, New York Managers, 135 & 137 Broadway, N. Y. comicbooks.com