Judge — January 25, 1890 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE The man who has dominion over himself is very great, but even he cannot always control his youngest child! —Somerville Journal, Little sister in railroad car —"* How long this tunnel is!” Sweet girl graduate—"It seems so, dear, be- cause this is the last car, you know, and of course all the rest get out before we do."—Fliegende Blatter, Tonsorial artist (contemptuously) —"* Say! what good are you Harvard fellers, anyhow? Yer can't play foot-ball, yer can’t play base-ball, yer can't row ; all yer can do is to get an education." —MHarvard Lampoon, When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria, When sho was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria When she had Children, she gave them Castoria ‘There was a sign upon the fence, The sign was ** Paint,” And everybody that went by, Sinner or saint, Put out a finger and touched the fence And onward sped And as they wiped their finger-tips, “Tris,” they said, C. C. SHAYNE, MANUFACTURER OF Sealskin Garments AND ALL Leading Fashionable Furs, WHOLESALE and RETAIL. Specialty made of Gentlemen’ Fur-Lined Overcoats, Caps, Gloves, and Sleigh Robe: 184 West 424 Street and 108 Prince Street, NEW YORK. FASHION BOOK MAILED FREE. Madison-Square Garden Co. First Mortgage 5 Per Cent. 30 Year Gold Bonds, DUE 1019. THE TOTAL IssuE 15 THE MERCANTILE 81,250,000, TRUST CO., TRUSTEE. lien and the only mortgage property, the site > by R.V. Harnett. over $1,000,000. of which is alo: The new mend these bonds as an exceptionally safe in offer a limited amount for sale. Copies of the mortgage and prospectus may be had on LADENBURG, THALMANN & CO., 46 WALL STREET. —10— CENTS PACKAGE. An all-tobacco, Long Filler Cigarette, the most delicious and — wholesome smoke ever offered for the money. CONSOLIDATED CIGARETTE CO. ‘Ave. D and roth St., New Yor! THE CELEBRATED PIANOS Are at present the Most Popular and Preferred by Leading Artist Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St., W. SOHMEL « CO. 1A, Po. 1318 Chestnut ax Preaxctsco, Cat, Olive Street’; “SQUIRE MARTIN'S DAUGHTER JANE. When in the fall the wind begins to git right coo! an’ blow, An’ the leaves fill up the orchard an’ there comes a skift of snow, Ican’t help thinkin’ of the time, an’ wish it back again, When 1 used to go a-courtin’ ‘Squire Martin's daughter Jane. ‘The room was always warm an’ bright an’ cheery as could be, An’ in the corner set a chair pertic'ler fer me ; An’ when the storms come beatin’ hard agen the winder pane *Jwas pleasant fun a-courtin’ "Squire Martin’s daughter Jane. We popped the corn an’ eat it, an’ toasted apples rosy, As there we sat together in the corner snug an’ cozy, An’ I'm not ashamed to own it, I think that inthe m: I was tolerably bad smitten with ‘Squire Martin's daugh- ter Jane. One day there come a city chap, drest in his Sunday clo'es ; He kind o' took a shine to her, an’ her to him, 1 An’ he was han'somer than me, an’ stylish-lik ‘An’ he took my job o' courtin’ ‘Squire Martin's daughter Jane. He understood his business, for "t was jist a little while Till they married, moved to town, an’ spread on heaps o' style; But I'd a ben content to live jist modest-like an’ plain, If I could only married ‘Squire Martin's daughter Jane. Tt somehow makes me lonesome to think o' her to-night, As the wind goes whistlin’ up the flue an’ the fire burns warm an’ bright, An‘ there's a yearnin’ in my heart that’s nigh akin to pain, As [sit here silent, thinkin’ of "s quire Martin's daugh- ter Jane. WW, Runyon in America, Mrs, Wixstow's Sootitxe Svrur for Children Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarrhaa, 25 cents a bottle. The attempt to open the theatres in Cincinnati on Sunday night has been checked by the courts. A wise proceeding. With the theatres opened and the saloons closed, what excuse would young men have to go out between the acts? Much suffering would ensue.—A'or~ ristown Herald, A RARE TREAT indeed is to drink Kaiser Wilhelm's favorite ‘* Cabinet Sekt" champagne, which once tried will always be pre- ferred to others. Oh, for a fall of the beautiful snow ‘Straight down upon all the earth below, ‘Yo cover our streets with a mantle white And bury the mud clear out of sight. Oh, for a fall of the beautiful snow, With thermometer down to zero below ; A chill to make our gas fires glow, And a winter such as we used to kno Angostura Bitters are used by mothers to stop colic and looseness of the bowels in children. Dr. J. G. 1 Siegert & Sons, manufacturers, Ask your druggist. Miss Chestnut—" Vought a book, dear? What is it? Browning? Why, I didn’t know Miss Walnut —"Tam going to cut out the leaves, dear, and use them as patterns fora crazy-quilt,"—Philadelphia In- guirer. A man named Rye, who lives near Bellaire, O., has a fancy for naming his daughters after the big rivers. ‘Three of his girls are called Missouri, Ohio, and Mis- sissippi. Recently a baby daughter was added to the household, and the father, forgetting the double signifi- cance of the word, determined to have her christened Monongahela Rye.—Pittsburg Dispatch. CARL PRETZEL'S PHILOSOPHY Negligence vas der behind-fadder of unifersal dis- orter. Sinceer gratitoot nefer vas got ashamed to honor a benefacktor. Der feller dot lifs in der bustle of der vorldt don'd cood make goot breserves of his firtue. Der peopie dot make ridicool of honesty, dempler- nz, or droot vas not more worth as a fool on a crazy | house. His Honor, or Fate's Mysteries,” is the title of what is called ‘“a thrilling, realistic story of the United States army,” by Cynthia E, Cleveland. ‘The scene is an army camp out west, and the plot is elaborate and curious enough. ‘The story is marred by some theories as to the education of young persons, which, while well enough in their way, are wholly misplaced in a work of the kind; but it is a fairly interesting romance and worth the twenty-five cents it costs. ‘The trade is sup- plied by the American news compa SMILES. In a state poultry convention it would be common politeness only to invite the hen to attend as a lay dele- gate.— Baltimore American. What interesting things we don't see when we have our pencils ready.— Oil City Derrick, A new burlesque is called "* My Sister's Hair.” It is take-off, of course, and will be ‘done up” in the pa- pers.— Youkers Statesmai:, An exchange tells “how to make a fountain pen work satisfactorily.” Another way is to give it to one of your enemies. —Vorristown Herald, ‘ow that there are forty-two stars on the American the union ought to go ahead at a two-forty gait.— Toronto Globe. HILLIPS’ ~ ones QCOQ Unequaled for Delicacy of Flavor and Nutri- tious Properties. Easily Digested. Different from all other Cocoas. As D) ide’ + WHISK! ails intfieUnuted States UR SIGNATURE APPEARS ON EVERY BOTTLE! lirsvnyside De Wy, “The Marquis.” Directions "How to Order,"* prices, etc.,-railed free, on application. Address N. ESPENSCHEID, NEW YORK, YOUMANS CELEBRATED HATS. Style and Quality Unequaled. 180—719—1107 Broadway. PREMIERE QUALITE CIGARETTE. BA SUPERB ARTICLE. ury, and not a low-priced article. ‘The standard of purity and excellence. |, tobaccos prevents that dryness of the throat usually produced by smoking other brands. prejudice to prevent you from giving this incomparable cigarette a trial. The faultless union of two matchless Do not allow It is simply perfection, and a lux- Our Vanity Fair and other smoking mixtures are the finest for the pipe. 16 First-prize Medals. Wm. S. KIMBALL & Co. comicbooks.com