Judge — 1889 — page 60: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

58 BEST THINGS FROM JUDGE. SNATCHES FROM AN UN- PUBLISHED NOVEL. RY JAMES HENRY HOWELLS DEAN, Fitzgerald—Percy Gerald ‘itzgerald—is my hero, His cars were pink, his eyes were blue, his lips were cherry, and Il there rested the precious beatitude of a nose like a sing hill. Mildred, fair Mildred ! Some- times, when my fancy is stim- ulated to fine poetic musing, do Isee in my mind's eye the agglomeration of all human loveliness settled in one radiant soul, creamy skin to shame the ily, teeth fresh from the dentist ranted to wear, hair contour that all hol- veteen, a bearing and carriage worthy of a Marie Stuart or a second old lady in a burlesque AWALUABUE@MOMEsiIC: =i ee tid wd.” he said, “many Mrs. McMupas t you arrange tu look a little neater in the house, Ellen 2” \ Mlildred, he said, ** many ELLEN— doan't undershtand me, It's me that do be goim’ in rags t' show up tn fine fur- a time and oft have we sat here nitoor yez have be the conthrast.” literary rule to pass over three or four years in the history of our lovers, and light upon an idyllic scene in the rural districts of Bungtown county. Mildred | s in the morning after impress- ing a dozen kisses upon Percy's lips, and returns at eve, only all into his yearning arms and kiss again. home all day with the house and children, y cook: id to have turned the neighbors indigo with envy. Readers, my moral is plain. Amor vincit omnia, or robbed of its French, love tal the whole grocery. In the meantime, as we shall not publish a sequel to this work, you would do well to purchase this volume, which may be had at ten dollars, one- third off, at the bookstalls of Messrs. Scribbler, Wellfed & Co.. at the sign of the three brass balls, next door to the barber-shop. NATION. LEWY WHY SHE REFUSED HIM. He loved a stately maiden He struggled long and nobly Of cesthetic cultured taste, Her maiden love to gain, And promptly atherservice’ But she quenched his life His royal heart he placed. In words both cold and pl: For when he stooped in rapture ler wering words to catch, She said his hair was auburn And his mustache didn’t match.”* LURANA W. AILELDON IN DANGER OF CONGESTION. Grarrox—"Cholly, 1 ¢ what makes my head f swelled. ‘Pon honoh, I feel as if my vewy veins would burst. Howarp—" Weally, Algy, it's ‘cause you wear such awfully tight shoes ; causes a wush of bwains to the head, ye Know.” by the firelight’s fitful glow, mooning and spooning galore. Carriage-hire is dear, and’ I'm only getting six thalers per week. Come, fly with me, and let us settle down to love in a cottage and soup-meat for ever and evermore.” Mildred blushed one hundred degrees in the shade, and loving him with a love that knoweth no bank account, she replied, ‘Yes, my Percy”— here came a strange sound which may have been the “old man” swearing at the keyhole, or the pit-a-patting of the lover's heart—‘‘let us git up and git (Kisses, tableau and exeunt.) “We-r-r-etch !" he cried, ‘‘depart thee hence unto the night's Platonian shore. Japetas hath a step-daughter, whom he loveth passing well. So write me an epic and thou mayest ve her with all rights, privileges and glories thereunto per- taining. Or else, beware, for there is resin rubbed an inch thick on my boot-end, and I h t made way with a bottle of good old rye, quart size.” Percy inconsolable. He would pecorra, thin, it's too bad entotrely. They promised to wait for me, an’ have her or die by slow poison. «4 r there they are havin’ a hoigh ouid time ; an’ the corpse a sittin’ in the chair A climacteric having been reached, it is the fashionable as nathural as loife an’ they throwin’ coals at it!” AT THE WAKE, BUT TOO LATE FOR THE FUN. comicbooks.com