Judge, 1889 · page 58 of 72
Judge — 1889 — page 58: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains six satirical cartoons and accompanying verses typical of late-19th-century American humor: **"Promptly Succored"**: A widow refuses aid to a wounded soldier; the joke plays on her self-interest and the phrase "sick him, Hercules" (likely referencing her dog). **"Push"**: Moralizing verse about self-reliance—a country youth must overcome obstacles through determination, not waiting for help. Reflects Victorian emphasis on individual effort. **"Amateur Photography"**: A photographer's blurry image is compared to a train wreck, then humorously to a phonograph recording of gossiping women—mocking both amateur photographers and women's chattiness. **"A Claim on Their Gratitude"**: Dark humor about a struggling doctor whose patients don't pay, suggesting their heirs should compensate him. **"We Have All Been There"**: A messenger rushes an urgent delivery despite a nearby ball game—relatable comedy about conflicting priorities. **"Not the Fault of the Hatter"**: A man blames his small hat on English design rather than his own head size—self-delusion humor. The page emphasizes themes of class, self-reliance, and gentle social mockery typical of Judge's satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THINGS FROM JUDGE. PROMPTLY SUCCORED. Madam, it won't be healthy for you t’ refuse a poor wounded soj know it.’ Sick him, Hercules !"" SELF-ASSERTIVE TRAD New JERSEY wipow PUSH. II, country youth ! who azed by the city’s din, Fc ce! Day? ne door before you has no hands It is winter. By which to help you i Herbert is writing home. Then why, oh y sb r Mrs. Herbert, demure “will you plea ” mother you regret to state that every can of her ‘ preserv ries has ‘ worked’ so that we can’t use them.” quarters of a pound of sugar to a pound of fruit? Do let me make you some of ny’ delicious preserves. Herbie just dotes on them.’ inking st nd wait? sa ARteTEER ASNERTON. Oh, modest man, why will you stand And long for fortune’s store ? No one within will reach a hand To help you through the door. The only way to conquer fate You'll ind engraven on the plate: P AMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHY, “What does this represent, Camerer? from every point of view, but vainly.” Came Why, that’s the late great railway accident, in which two trains were telescoped.” ~ ‘4 U Simpsox—‘* You don't say ! I fancied it might represent the wreck s of a phonograph which had tried to record the chatter of three \ H ‘Sintpson: I've studied it young women on a street corner.” A CLAIM ON THEIR GRATITUDE. Young Doctor B. is run down with busines: “You must carn a mint of mone: aid a friend **Not at all; my patients -don't pay. “No? WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE. HAR Lem PatRON (rushing in)—"'Quick! Get this up to my house ! a matter of life or death!” Snoozey (messenger number 44)—'* Lemme take it. Sully. game 'r ball goin’ on ‘bout five blocks dis side 'r where dat bloke to him one day. But their heirs ought to pay something handsome !" You may be gifted with great skill, Be versed in varied lore, Yet lack the overcoming will ‘To push aside fate’s door. "Tis good wine now that needs a bush ; And merit, to succeed, must pus / PASSE WIND, Pitsenvmue ake? a NOT THE FAULT OF THE HATTER. It's SECOND CHAPPY— because you know Dey's der boss ives.” Fist cuapry—‘ Say look ‘ere, old fell. too devlish small for my head ?” * Aw —no—. 's an English hat, you know. Don't you think my hat is—aw— It cawn't be. It must be your head— comicbooks.com