Judge — 1889 — page 56: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BEST THINGS FROM JUDGE. E was a sweet young creature, And he banged sunny hair, He worked in a store And on the floor Where th Id “gent” neckw But the pl him, For he wanted much to rise: Said this darling lad It's really too bad _ That T have to count out his e it did not suit THE EFFICACY OF THE FAITH CURE. At last he was engaged By a manager “square 3” He _ played know, With a traveling show that would turn _ Oursetves (for instance, to our office boy) on. Johnny. Take this quarter and buy en ht in the morning.” gentle housewife prides herself it is her icate, snow-white biscuits. w tastes one and re- marks, with an air of aggravated injury, ‘Harriet, I shall be exceedingly d to you if you will have the tic cut me some home-made bread—if you have such an article in, thé hou: I have never accustomed myself to eating baked air as the staff of life.” Harriet compresses her lips for some bread. Mamma-in-law eats it with pathetic resignation, making only one comment —‘‘Really, eatables seem to be like the furniture in the parlor now-a-days—en- tirely of the bric-a-brac order.” “My dear,’ Herbert, the next morning, ‘‘suppo: ask mother to make the biscuits for supper. I think it wor please her immense- 1 ap" went way out west When it suddenly dwindled in size. For it busted in two In Kalamazoo, And again he is counting the ties. A FAMILIAR SCENE. It is summer. Mammaz-in-law time. Daughter-in-law’s hou examination. has come visiting for the first 4 keeping is undergoing a. cri nd rings w has discovered three liv pet-bugs in a secluded corner, pting a well-worn saying ina manner she thinks artistically befitting the occasion : “Harriet—I_ presume you ar ccustomed to being called ‘Hattie,’ but I consider diminutives extremely undignified for a married woman—Harriet, | will paraph a favorite motto of my studious girlhood by remarking that eternal vigilance is the price of the absence of carpet-bugs.” The first supper-table is graced by some baking-powder bis- cuits, and if there is one solitary item on which the meek and JOUNNY (in the corrider one minute later)—* Ball match thisafternoon, or I'ma liar.” ‘Very 11,” answers his wii The supper is late that i but _ mamma-in-law brings in the plate of biscuits aying, in a trium- 5 e, Her- bie, dear! you can enjoy a good square meal of biscuits, honey, once more, as you used to.” “Herbie” opens a_ bis- cuitand gasps. It is a bright gold color. “Shure, Honorah, mum,” “T saw. ye: in two compliments but, bedad, [wuz not till, meddie wid put av smiles and orde} She is wi more result fri She had blackberrie: and was w mly “bread” again. iting for one the future. been that cighing out the canning afternoon sugar when mamma-in-law appeared on the scene. ee Martin !” Harriet IN THE WRONG PLACE. fairly Rev. Mr. WRANTER (concluding sermon)—“ And now, my hearers, which shall itbe?!!! Mr. Lateout (in back seat, somnambulistically)—"*Gimme Rhine wine ‘n' seltzer I've swore off cestors. reamed so far lost to the sacred tra- ditions of your feminine an- to use only three she are you MAMMA— like that, I'd let it stay hidden HaRoLp—(very much interested) up where there are bears and icebergs to look for a thing HIS VIEW OF IT. Harotp—' What a funny man, mamma!" ‘Well, before I'd go comicbooks.com