Judge, 1889 · page 12 of 72
Judge — 1889 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous short sketches typical of Judge magazine's satirical content. The cartoons mock social pretensions and domestic life: **"Wrongly Sized Up"** contrasts a snobbish art connoisseur who claims to recognize artists by appearance with a street performer doing a shell game—both making confident claims they can't back up. **"The Robber"** presents sentimental Victorian humor: a burglar steals only a kiss from the homeowner's daughter, treating theft as romance. **"She Wanted Hers Straight"** mocks marital dynamics—a wife rejects her husband's affectionate tooth-pick chewing, wanting direct affection without quirks. Other sketches satirize American rudeness ("Characteristic"), social climbing (cheap restaurant owner), and courtship pretense (moonlight church visits). The poetry section ("With generous hand...") provides sentimental verse contrasting with the humor. Overall, the page reflects Gilded Age satirical comedy targeting middle-class manners, romance conventions, and American character—gentle mockery rather than sharp political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BEST THINGS FROM: JUDGE. WRONGLY SIZED UP. Mr. Coaxtey (to friend)—" How readily you can tell an artist. There is Tue Axtist (a moment later)—“Now gents, I'll bet yer a fiver even yer something so distinctive always in their appearance.” can’t tell which cup th’ little joker’s under!" THE ROBBER. They eae a noise at the gate that But though he searched every cranny and It woke the old man from his sleep Nota trace of the thief found he to ITH generous hand a kindly heaven bestows slaughter, “Ab, Fant" he laughed, as he struck For the only’ thing that the burglar alight, stole Beauly to woman, perfume to the rose; “TI take you, my burglar, un- Was a kiss from the lips of the old awares,”” man’s daughter, Rufile the rose, its sweetness grows in power— SHE WANTED HERS STRAIGHT. Huspaxp f tooth pick chewing genus, affectionately)—* Wifey, want a good-bye Rufile the woman, and the sweet tums sour, Tse cariiiea wire—‘‘ Yes; without a stick in it.” CALLING ON THE PARSON’S DAUGHTER. “I suppose you go regularly to meetings,” she said demurcly. “Yes,” the young man answered ; ‘if they're by moonlight.” A BETTER WAY. The proprietor of a cheap eating saloon was chatting with one of his neighbors about his business, “At what hourdo you dine, then?” asked the latter. “About three o'clock, after everybody has got through.” ‘ou don't mean to say you eat what's left?” - “Tshould say not! you must take me for one of the custom- ers. No, I have my dinner sent in froma high-toned restnurant:/ on the next block.” CHARACTERISTIC, «There is one characteristic I which you Americans have |} that I have never been able to account for,” remarked the / English traveler. “Why do you always reply to a question by asking another?” “Do we?” innocently res- ponded the Yankee. HIS INSIGNIA. “That young Dawkins is be- ginning to be aregularchappie 2a : of late,” said Noodle. " GOOD JUDGMENT. “TIAMONTS VOS DRUMPS.” i Wire— What kind of paper would be best for this Appearance of Mr. and Mrs. Sondheim under the “‘Is he raising a must room ?" electric light, at the Dinkelspiel wedding. “No; pimples. Hussanp—“ Fly paper.” comicbooks.com