Judge — December 1889 — page 45: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHRISTMAS JUDGE EXPLAINED. PROFESSOR OLLENDORFF—"* Madam, howsdo you account for the presence of a piece of granite in the chicken salad 7” Our Laxpiapy (never af a loss fur an excuse) —* Them chickens come from th’ pure Plymouth rock brand, professor.” CHRISTMAS-EVE, WHEN the voice of the fish-horn is heard in the land, and the cook Sports a sprig of holly in her cap; the elevator-man and the district-messenger wear smiles that button in the back; WHEN the children’s eyes are very big and bright, and they hold-muffled conferences in their cribs ; WHEN you see the stockings hung at the fireside, and bitterly realize that opera lengths are preferable to socks ; THEN you may know that Christmastide is here. WHEN you know your wife has made you a pair of slippers with forget- me-nots on the toes ; WHEN you feel an inward conviction that she expects a sealskin jacket in returp; WHEN she ties the branch of green under the chandelier, and a happy girlish look comes into her eyes that reminds you of that snowy night, not so many years ago, when you listened to the bells together and you told her that you loved her ; WHEN you take her hands in yours, beneath the mistletoe, kiss her gallantly upon the lips; CRAND NATIONAL AWARD of 16,600 francs. LAROCHE’S TONIC : a Stimulating Restorative, oo PERUVIAN BARK, IRON, AND PURE CATALAN WINE, the Great FRENCH REMEDY Endorsed by the Hospitals for PREVENTION and CURE of s Dyspepsia, Malaria, Fever and Ague, Neuralgia, Loss of Appetite, Gastraigia, Poorness of the Blood, and Retarded Convalescence. This wonderful {nvigorating tonlc is powerful in its effects, is easily adm{zisterod, assimilates theroughly and quickly with the gastric juices, without deranging the action of the stomach, 22 Rue Drouot, Paris. E. FOUCERA & CO., Agents for U.S. 80 North William Street, N.Y. : 77 Nassau St., New York. 198 La Salle St., Chicago. “HAMMOND” TYPBHWRITER.| AWARDED THE THE HAMMOND TYPEWRITER CO., 447-449 East 52d St New York, | 116 S, 6th St., Philadelphia, | 300 Washington St., Bostea, "ELECTRICITY VANQUISHED By the famous Nagara Gos Burner, A flocd ‘of soft, steady, bean- tifal Light. Agents wanted. Scnd $1.25for eample, Special prices to editors. BOOHESTER LAMP 00. 28 Warren Bt., New York. Gomer We SELL DIRECT 10 PME NEC Bz erolding Asents you save thete \ BE crermous “expenses “and. prods, PAR, which cvapie retclase. Pu CATALOGUES FREE. incon. va77. THE MARCHAL & SMITH PIANO CO. E. s York. it, New Herbert Booth King & Brother, Leading Advertising Agents for Magazines and Weeklies. ‘SEND FOR ESTIMATE. 202 Broadway, New York, comicbooks.com