Judge — December 1889 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOW WE TRIED NOT TO KEEP CHRIS’MUS. ONEY wuz skerce that Chris'= mus; we hadn't a cent to spare Fer foolish an’ wasteful presents that wuzn't to eat nor wear, Pa he carkilated an’ guessed it wuz better so, Lut we on'y thought o’ the shillin's an’ not once o' little Joe. On'y ez time kep’ creepin’ an’ hris'mus wuz almos' here, I begun to wish it wuz over an’ gone fer another year ; An’ I see that pa wuz bothered, he'd sech an oneasy way, An‘he alwus changed the subjic if the subjic wuz Chris'mus day ; Fer Joe kep’ a-tellin’ constant what the other boys ‘ud git, An’ it made me feel so awful mean T hain’t got over it yit ; Till at last T couldn't stand it an’ the day afore the day I slipped aout awful quiet, an’ I tuk the keers away Claar daown to the great big city, jist packedan’ gorgedwithfolks, The hull bilin’ of um happy an’ laughin’ an’ makin’ jokes. I come to a noble buildin’ with CHRISTMAS JUDGE A LIGHTNING CALCULATOR. ‘TEACHER —"* Now, Holystone Butts, speak up good and loud. had ten hens and lost two of them, how many would he have left 2" Master Butrs—" Night-time 2” TEACHER i TeAcHER—"** Certainly.” Suppose your father Fer there wuz pa a-standin’ in front of a painted sled, An’ we heerd a hoot, an’ there wuz Joe a-squattin’ up in bed. He give a jump an’ landed, an’ T thought my bones ‘ud brecl Ez I felt two tight arms givin’ a bear-hug ‘raound my n Sech a time ez we had—sech hol- lerin’! you could hear us far an’ near— Tl never have a better if I live till a hunderd year. Oh, neighbors ! don't be stingy when it comes to Chris'mus da Be clus the hull year thro’, but then put savin’ thoughts away— Let's have one hearty laughi time an’ let the troubles go— Fergit_ your pocket- books an give your hearts a chance to grow! WOULDN'T QUITE SUIT HER IDEAS, Mr. Méildman—* The only I can gratify your Christmas wish for a piano one by install popcorn strung in strings, An’ big tin horns an’ go-carts an’ keers an’ drums an’ things. moved inter d’ nex’ house.” MasTER Butts—" He wouldn't hab none left. Sneaky "Lige Windrom haz jess Mrs. Mildman —“ Better = wait, then, until you have the The feller wuzn't haughty-proud, but ‘ud hunt an’ sort an’ pull; money to buy a whole one all at once. 1 shouldn't appreciate its being An’ I laid out thirty shillin' an’ my arms wuz bilin’ full. delivered in parts, like a subscription-book.”” When I got back hum in the evenin’ the haouse wuz dark an’ still, ———— But the moon wuz a-risin’ nobilé over to old Tug hill A MAN should always remember ‘that he is unusually lucky when I peeked up soft to Joe's room an’ slid the latch on the door, he does not have to pay for all the presents his wife makes When I give a jump an’ my packin's went flyin’ to the floor ; him on Christm JOHN D.CUTTER & Co PURE SILK If a Black Dress Silk has in it no Wool, Cotton or Linen, if is called Pure Sith, but to calla cloth which is Aalf cotton—"* all twool,” or dirt— is a small fraud compared with the adulteration of silk. One pound of pure silk thread dyed with a pure black dye weighs about fourteen ounces, but it can be adulterated with salts of iron and black gum so as to weigh from one and a half to three pounds, The cross- wise threads—because they are covered up by the lengthwise threads—are the ones chiefly weighted. These dyes cost five cents a pound, and you pay for them in the silk $15.00 a pound, A silk dress weighs about tree pounds. One pound and perhaps more is only iron and gum, These adul- terated silks look well, feel heavy, and have a colored selvedge which attracts the eye, but only reduces the width of the goods. THE DR. JAEGER’S SANITARY WOOLEN SYSTEM CO., 827 and 829 Broadway, New York. Branch 199 Broadway (W. U, Building), New York; Houses 366 Fulton Street, Brooklyn, N.Y. OUR NAME *wayyeg SS2g yoes ug NEWARE OF IMITATIONS, We beg to call attention to our Complete Assortment of THE DR. JAECER, SANATORY, WINTER, UNDERWEAR, ‘And everything else worn by Men, Women, and Children. ‘The genuine sanatory goods are manufactured under the supervision of Dr. Jaeger, and sold by the above-named Com- Pany and their authorized agents only. nd for explanatory, descriptive, and illustrated Cate- logue and price-list, free by mail. ents made to order, a specialty. ‘Mail orders promptly atrended to. Dr.Jaeger’sSanitary WoolenSystem Co. 827 and 820 Broadway, New York. 7 ; : (ERIC HET, \Quetys: FeroaaeteAbrnre neat rea sft - Ener See Rens NOoReadeO bye 2 as LIT Will, on receipt of price, send post-paid to any addres: Nothing finer for a Christmas Cift to Distant Friend: They cannot wear well, they will crack and are soon worthless, We were the first in this country to make an absolutely pure Black Dress Silk. We use the highest quality of Raw Silk. The dyes are pure, never loaded. Our silks are soft, rich, elegant, heavy, but every ounce is silk. They never crack. In Dress Patterns 16, 17, 18, and 20 yard Five styles of weave, as shown in the cut—2s inches wide—no colored selvedge—16 to 20 yards only required for a dress, instead of 20 to 24. Price, $2.20 per yard, which is to-day made possible by the low price of raw silk and the facility, economy, and capacity of our NEW MILL. Pure silk alone is worth baying and wears to the end. Ask your dealer for CUTTER’S PURE DYE, Factory: Bethlehem, Pa. OFFICES: Now York, Boston, Philadelphia, Chicago, San Francisco. comicbooks.com