Judge, 1889-12 · page 14 of 53
Judge — December 1889 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several Christmas-themed satirical pieces. The main comic strip "The Tables Turned" depicts a dialogue between a squire and an old settler about staying for Christmas. The settler initially agreed but now refuses, claiming he didn't know the settler's in-laws had no cider and no properly-licensed tavern nearby—revealing that holiday visits are endured primarily for drinking rather than family sentiment. The joke mocks rural American holiday customs and the gap between social expectations and actual motivations. The accompanying pieces—"Love's Labor Lost," "The Christmas Bird," "Economical," and "The Contrary Man"—offer brief satirical observations about Christmas gift-giving and consumerism, suggesting the holiday brings financial strain and disappointment rather than genuine joy. The tone is cynical about commercialized Christmas traditions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE TABLES TURNED. A happy thought. Niag’ry?* I telly’, squire, th’ hain’t no place like hum; an’ w'en M’riar says to me, ‘I guess we'll stay to my folks’s over Chris'mas,’ I couldn't bear to think on it, an’ says to M’ri iar,’ says I, ‘don’t le’s do it. Le’s go hum, fer th’ hain’t no place Ii pecially at Chris'mas."" “But y' s'pected to stay over Chris'mas w’en ye went,” said the squire, “fer ye tol’ me so.” “So I did, ; so I did,” replied the old settler, “But I didn’t know then th’t M’riar’s folks didn’t keep no cider in the house, an’ th’t th’ wa’n’t but one tavern nigher th'n four miled, an’ that un ‘thout no license. I tell y’, th’ hain’t no place like hum.” “I guess yer right, major,” said the squire, and the old friends walked away toward the tavern. xp, Morr. LOVE'S LABOR LOST. The life of the small boy's unknown to bliss, But of all his great pangs there's none greater than this: ‘To sneak to the pantry and when he gets there To find that the crock of preserves is all bare. ‘The bait, 'HE CHRISTMAS BIRD is a goose. That is why the $14-a-week clerk who buys his wife a $200 sealskin sack for Christmas is like the Christmas bird. ECONOMICAL, Now what shall I put in Maud’s stocking? To-morrow is Christmas day. T'll put my heart in her stocking, A cheap and a pretty way. And early that beautiful morning, Expectant rose Maud the fair, And looked through her Christmas stocking, But, lo! there was nothing there. THE CONTRARY man is very much pleased because Christmas comes but won'ts a year. comicbooks.com