Judge — December 14, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BEHIND THE SCENES HE opera season's here and there'll be a row I fear, for the fellow with the trombone cannot suit the wild-eyed leader; The flutist looketh glum, and the man who plays the drum makes such weird, unearthly music that of mischief he’s a breeder. The cornet’s out of tune, there's a flaw in the bassoon—surely such discord- ant strains the music-lover ne'er will nourish. Just notice how the harp doleth notes all thin and sharp, thwarting him who wields the batén with such high artistic flourish. The “supes” their labor shirk and the scenery will not work, while the ballet-dancer shivers and of draughts is eer complaining; The baritone resigns and the bass forgets his lines, while the maid who singeth alto has her doubts about remaining. It scarcely need be told the contralto catcheth cold, that the tenor starts a quarrel on the slightest provocation ; The chorus getteth rash and then matters go to smash—Oh, how happy is the manager of an opera combination! SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. = silent guest casts a double shadow on the board. Anticipation is more potent than smelling-salts a: We pay a price for everything enjoyed; for every have in store an adequate measure of felicity. More frequently than is suspected one’s whole faith hangs sus- pended on the thread of a single individuality. In moments of dire extremity it may or m: reflect that even the worst has yet a possible : Life is a tremendous experiment composed of minor experiments, the results of most of which might be marked “ doubtful” or “ unsatisfactory.” When starving on crumbs from the king’s table, one may perhaps take comfort from the fact that the loaf and the wine are less to the care- less recipient thereof than the fragments which pass his own famished lips. A man may fight with every weapon with which nature has endowed him, but a woman's strength lies in her silence. It is a man’s prerogative inst the inevitable; the earlier a woman becomes wise the sooner will she learn to submit. restorative. ning suffered we y not be a consolation to to protest KATHRINE GROSJHAN, It f NOT A HOWLING SUCCESS. Votce: (from outside) —"* W's time to get up, sit!" CoxNUALLOW (soho had passed the previous day in the rain) —* 1 think I'll st-tay in to-day, and you can serve my m-meals in my room," HIS LAST ATTEMPT TO RIDE FREE. Coxpucror — Razztep Roos detected) —"* Director of Now, gentlemen, (from the der road, sir. 1 tickets, please.” x, where he thinks he has been LIKE THE OTHER MU A TRAVELER had just returned from a voyag was deluged with questions. “But how did you manage to get along in those countries where you didn’t know the language?” asked a particularly brainless idiot. “ Why, as there are dumb people in all lands, I followed their example.” ound the world, He FROM THE HEART. “THE manager of a matrimonial agency is responsible for the statement that when he proposes a candidate for the hands of his the young girls invari like The widows inquire: “ What are his business prospects ?” While the old maids breathlessly ejaculate: “Great heavens! quick! y patrons bly ask: Where is he ? LITTLE LILIAN was taken to Staten Island. When the boat passed the statue of the god- dess of liberty she cried out “Oh, what a big mamma! On one of the recent foggy mornings when taken out she exclaimed, moving her hands as if to brush the fog a see; too much dust. . Too much dust; can’t THE GRACES. NEVER believed in the graces, Tcould not imagine their faces ; By thee, dear girl, my faith is won, And I adore the three in one, A PHILANTHROPIST. Thank you very much for the lunch, mum; but could you spare me twenty-five cents?” Woman —*Mercy! What do you want with twenty-five cents Tramp — Well, 1 don’t want it for myself, mum, I’m just collecting a little money here and there, the same as the rest of the profession, and when we get enough we're going to found a home for destitute tramps.” 5 Tramj comicbooks.co