Judge — November 30, 1889 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

126 »' moke in d’ gall'ry, an’ I doan’ ELUCIDATION. 64 RREVVERIN’, dey's a merricle dat yo’s all heered tell on whad needs some ‘xplainin’. How yo" spose dat d’ profit 'Lijah wuz fed by d’ ravens when, prev'ous to his goin’ inter d’ dessut, dey wuzn't a rave wivin twonny- five thousan’ miles ob d’ place. Did ‘Lijah brung he’s own ravens? Did d’ ra folly ‘Lijah_out'n he’s house jess fer t' be on han’ when he’s stum- mick caved in? No, no, chillun; no, no. I's gittin’ a hunnerd dol- lahs en two donaty pahties a yeah fer t’ tell yo’ knowledge, an’ I's gwine t’ airn d’ money ‘r resign d’ pastahrate. “Hit wuz dissaway. When Lige felt dl" pangs ob hungah a-settin’ in, an’ aftah he'd eit ~ a S : 5 i his Boot heels off in d’ effoht t’ keep life in he’s while Deac'n Holder grabs Elder buzzam, he laid down on d’ sand en looked up Sommers while d° lattah pahses d’ : . > pox.” in d’ air. Whad did he see? box. e. wan’ no moah int’ruptions.) “He seen hams an’ bac’n an’ hoe-cake an’ br'iled chick’n a-comin’ down laik a cooked blizzard! Da’s whad he seen. Did he see any ravens? Notty much. Dem ravens wuz clean ‘way ober on d’ other side ob d? mount’ns, How could he see ‘m wiv his nude eyes? “But, chillun, d’ good Lawd hed made | dem raves athletic, an’ all dey hed t’ do wuz t' rob d’ tents ob d’ Philistines an’ chuck d’ grub up in d’ air an den d* symoon (d's Latin fer breeze) h'ist- ed hit ober whar Lige wuz, quicker. Hit's a shuah fac’, mah fren’s, dat raves wuz giants in dem days sem as men, “All howl in d’ nex’ anthum ens CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES. THE TENOR'’S SECRET. JONES was hunting one day when he found himself confronted by a bear's cub. HE secret that success can win, “1 confess that I did not want to fire,” he said to a friend in relating the circumstance; plow teen eure Se we confess a a a ‘ 3 ; For though it may make Lohengrin “but if it had been a full-grown one there would have been a life-and-death struggle Tt-won't make William Tell... 5. between us.” —__—_—- So you took pity on him?” “No; I put spurs to my horse and got out of the neighborhood as soon as possible, for I knew the little rascal’s pa and ma could not be far off.” IT HAS GONE WEST. ‘¢LJAVE yer suthin’ ter say?” asked! the leader of the band as they prepared to string ‘up the man they had caught with the captain's horse. “Yer shoutin’ | am, I want it put inter the papers thet if my name #s McAllister I ain't no blamed tenderfoot and don’t belong to no dude four hundred.” And having proved there was no blot on the family escutcheon he met his fate like a true Texan, FACT VERSUS SENTIMEN DURING courtship. . He—*What name shall I invent for thee, dearest? What appellation that in a_ single word can express all my soul’s desire, all my heart, all my passion, all ""—— She (exceedingly unromantic) —" Well, Mr. Highflown, what's the matter with calling me = | Anna Maria Jane? As a name it's allus been good enough for me, and I'm thinkin’ itl have A THICK-SKINNED CANDIDATE. | to be good enough for you.” Bug.incame —“* If that isn’t the coldest cheek = ae Lever heard of. Mundison got eleven black-balls } HEN a man in his cups his home's happiness mars last night and now he's coming in with Colonel | His cups may result then in family jars. Hogan.” ; Hammonp—"' That's all right. The colonel up for a visiting member for two weeks tely after last night's ceremony.” A REGULAR COURSE A SWELL DIN R in St. Louis. enough? Waiter — Yes, mum; they do.” Hostess —" Very well; then you may serve the tooth- picks.” LUCKY PAT, ike, kin ye tell me,” says Patrick O'Flynn, Why I'm in good luck? If ye kin, sorr, begin.” “Now © Faith, no,” answered Mike ;"* now be off wid yer brawl, For whin I've bin wid ye ye're no luck at all.” * Now list, Moike :* There's tuck in old shoes says the rhyme, And, Moike,ain’t Tin thim most all ay the time? A DREAM. Cincinnati friend (to Chicago bride) —" Did you enjoy the journey, Clara?” Chicago bride—" Oh, yes, indeed.” . Cincinnati friend —1s the scenery beautiful ? INSISTING ON A SQUARE DEAL. Chicago bride—"\ didn't notice the scenery Finpsey =" Light her in der middle, Roachy,” but those seventeen tunnels are a perfect dream.” ry much, comicbooks.com