Judge — November 9, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE YES? OF ALL fair women, grave or gay, The one I oftenest bless Is she who never fails to say In tones inquiring, “* Yes?" Naught else so well a man can teach His real thoughts to repress And seal his lips and soul from speech As this mild, neutral "' Yes?” Her charming grace I prize and praise, Her worth, her loveliness, And quite approve of all her ways Except this maddening ‘* Yes?” Life must, I know, perplexing be As bafiling game of chess ; ut any fate I'll brave if she Will only not say “Yes?” T oft resolve my woe to tell, My grievance But—what's the use? She'll gently murmur ** Ye: ire confess I know quite well M.S. mELDGES, NOT AN AUTHORITY. re you a good judge of ferns and mosses Not very. You sce I never botany.” WITH AN EYE TO BUSINESS. Downey y. what's the matter with that watch ?” Jeweler — It needs cleaning.” Downey —"*But had it cleaned last week.” Jeweler —"\ can't help it. Downey guess you fellows don’t understand your business Jeweler —" 0} Downey —* Did you ever look at a watch that need cleaning 2” Jeweler —"? ‘es, we do.” No; that’s our business.” NOVEMBER. NOVEMBER'S here, the month best known fo eile ‘They go carcering wildly down the back, They play sad havoc with the nerves, alack, Until, if wishing to dispel the ils, One has to take a triple dose of pills; Each draught doth put the suffering soul to rack, As headlong down the spine it takes its track, And with all sorts of pain the body fills. ©, ye November winds that rattle by, ‘That rashly, madly fly about the town, ‘That grasp us tightly till we're weak and sore, Why are ye happy when ye hear the cry, “Say! will you kindly pull that window down, Pray, wILt you very kindly shut that door?” NATHAN 36, LEV, done.” OLD CHOCOLATE’S JOCOSERIOUS CHAT. A BLACKSMITH grown rich am gen'ly fon’ ob gloves. Yo" doan’ argy long wid de man w’at’s got a club riz.~ De cheaper de ‘musement de quicker yo’ git sick ob hit. Ef de bee stings yo’ yo’ er laik toc tas’e hit in de honey. Wien de cat an’ de cook am fr'en’s yo’ ull heah mice squeal. W'en yo’ er got a load toe tote an ounce ull break yo" back. Dar er few dat a’n’t flattered by a nod fom a man ob posishen. De fisherman dat sets out toe keep ‘is feet dry musn't complain. De man dat doan’ slip now an den am li'ble toe git a ter’ble fall bime-by. Len‘in’ a han’ toc de po’ am a cheap way toc git a deal ob satisfacshun. De higher a man gits de mo’ he ought toc see ob de needs ob dose down below. J: As WALDRON, A SURE PREVENTIVE. Friend —" Let me see, John—you had a daughter who wanted to become an actress at one time, didn’t you?” John Hobbs —" Yes; but | soon stopped that.” Friend —"You did? John Hobbs —" Ve: made her take lessons in clocution.” ACCESSORY TO THE FACT. Nep—'' Mamma told me not to take any preserves out of the closet and I'm not going to do it; but if you want to go out in the back yard and call Kitty, Jack, I don't think any harm will be IS SPOKE, [8 cuicaco. Miss Wabash — Lulu Stanwix told me to-day that she saw ‘young Mr. Lake- front while the officers we Friend (wo sufterer) Sufferer —" Bec: conducting him to the quinquelocular. just like her. She’s always trying to make one believe INFORMATION LACKING. “Why don’t you try the mind cure?” se I've never been able to ascertain the manufacturer's name or the price of a bottl Woman — Dealer Woman wanted to take him a present. A NEW DEPARTUR' ave you any parrots that swear like troopers?” vam; the last lot I got in are mild in their language.” I'm sorry for that. Iam on my way to my son-in-law’s and I He's a Sunday-school superintendent.” SAME THING. Jack (impatiently) —" What do you want to howl ‘Rats! for in that idiotic manner whenet Ned. you hear an old story? Probably for the same reason that you yell ‘Chestnuts !" when anybody springs an old gag on you.” Jack A QUOTATION. chestnut: “And Jacob lifted up his voice,” etc. M “But there’s some sense in that. There's a story connected with Exactly; and there's a tail connected with rat comicbooks.com