Judge — November 9, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CONDITION. Mrs. Garpeck —‘* Don't be brutal, Edwin. Mr, GaRBeck to her beforehand that I'm deaf and dumb.” HUM OF THE COURT. HERE IS but one safe way to milk a kicking cow, and that is to get your milk of the dealer in that beverage. NOTED AUTHOR We know little regarding her husband, but divorces can be had in Mlinois at ruinously low rates. A CRONIN JURY having been secured, it may now be hoped that the guilty parties will be hanged some six months after they have died of old age. HE NEWSPAPERS had better stop killing off the prince of Wales. He has outlived about a thousand editors who were making prep- _ arations to write A JAPANESE VERSION hisjebiuary i ° THE HEAD 3] ISH MAY hata litti lam. u wears a Hisflisa whita sno. Gow is toofe Antefii wherzat Tishmay cent guently men= Zelam heshu tiggo. tione dc Was there ever a head that didn’t wear a crown? T# WOMAN with a tall hat has begun the season at the rious theatres, and the acting behind her is such very good tragedy that_no- body cares to look at the stage. A WOMAN in Chicago was arrested and fined five dollars for kissing men in the streets. The time will come when no man will be safe the street without a guardian, SOMETIMES we get very coarse letters pitching in and some of them are even profane; but the w fail to mention the offices they didn’t get. ‘¢LLEAVEN never burns down,” says Brother Talmage; and up rises the mean old editor of the Courier-Journal and says, says he, Well, the other place never burns down either.” WHEN the base-ball season ended lots of people felt as if it had been definitely decided whether the day of judgment would come to- morrow or next year. These great problems are very agonizing. frequently rises at night to play the violin. IiMo dher tushcul onda Tttwa saccanst zerul Ittmad zechildrenz lafa pla ‘Tushee zelama schul, Antso zetetcher turnim oet Butstil hel ingar nea Tishmay dida pear. Wha makal am lof ‘Tishmay soc ar childrenz kry Cos Tishmay lofa Zetetcher didre pli. President Harrison, rs, oddly enough, You must take Miss Gaddsby in to supper.” “All right; if T must, I must; but I'll give you a new bonnet if you'll explain WE OBJECT to the new pension commissioner because one never knows whether to call him Green B, Raum or Green R, Baum. You knew just where to place Tanner—and sometimes were rather sorry for it JACOB SHARP was first dishonored, and sec- ondly died of grief; but the iniquity which finally buried him is great money for his suc- cessors. When one reflects on these things it makes one sad. THE YOUNG woman of Boston who recently read “ The Quick or the Dead” at a“ symphony rehearsal,” and thereby shocked all who heard it for three hours, will probably begin to James- Brown-Potter next winter. . Lus of Portugal is dead. We had not heard the gentleman's name in some years, and had therefore quite forgotten him. It is pleasant to revive old associations, even by the accident of a mere paragraph in the newspapers. [7 SEEMS strange that King Humbert of Italy should be “ still suffering from dyspepsia” when all that ought to be necessary to his relief is that his prime minister promulgate an order expelling the disease from him and from the kingdom. THE REMARK of D. B. Hill, “I haven't brought my cyclopedia with me,” is thought by a con- temporary to be so good a joke that even Grover will shake his sides at it. Probably Grover will shake his fists at it, because he never laughs on that side of his mouth. by a hasty perusal of an article in the Saratogian which appears to be grossly untruthful, that even the worm will turn, the worm in this case being a something called Ritchie, which re- cently served a term in Dannemora prison for forgery. It is said that Ritchies take to themselves wings, but this infinitesimal germ of a lizard will never become a butterfly. LITTLE GIRL of Catskill likes very warm rooms, and her aunts like plenty of air. “What will you do when you are married?" said one of the aunts. “Your husband won't want to be suffocated.” “Well, if he doesn’t keep the windows closed I'll get a divorce.” ** But that is no ground for a divorce.” “Yes, it is,” said this little girl after reflection, “the ground of incompatibility of temperature.” UNDED UP. Past-repemrtion Pete—" Now I've got yer! Will yer take back what yet said ‘bout my stealin’ yer 2" His pouutrut. capri never takes back nothin’,”” Not much I won't! Nimble-toed Maddox comicbooks.com