Judge — October 19, 1889 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 29 POLITE JOHNNY. “ Naughty boys," said Johnny's mother, ‘‘oft are rude to one another, but I hope that you'll remember careless manners are not right ; And wherever and whatever your surroundings, will en- | deavor to be scrupuldusly, cheerfully, and cease- lessly_ polite.” “That I will,” said Johnny. sweetly, and he kept his word completely, and said ‘ Please” and “* Beg your pardon" ina. way that's seldom heard, And’ “Allow me" and ‘*Excuse me"—oh, it really would confuse me to enumerate his phrases as they constantly occurred. Asa youth and as a man he still adhered unto the plan he had so earnestly adopted as his gentle rule of life, And was often deferential when it wasn’t quite essential, as for instance to his servants and his children and his wife. When his business up and bursted, and his creditors were worsted, with civility he told them he re- gretted such an end ; And at his wife's demising, with a court he responded, ** Dead I thank you tion of a friend. surprising, to the ques- What I write is but a sample of the daily bright ex- ample which he set to show how life by proper manners may be greased. Would that we might see another one so mindful of his brother ; but, alas ! he isn't born, and John, alack ! is long deceased, —Afrs. George Archibald, When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria. When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria, THE TELEPHONE GIRL. I'm a Central Union telephone girl, ‘Ving-a-ling-ling, ting-a-ling-ling, T come when you give your ‘phone handle a whirl, ‘Ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting ; I'm queen of a hundred holes here in a ro A hole for each telephone number, And for each of these holes I've a cheery “hello!” “Ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting. I can hear every word that you speak o'er the wire, ‘Ting-a-ling-ling, ting.a-ling-ling, E’en down to the whispers of love's fickle fire, ‘Ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting ; | know all the secrets there are in the town, Where faithless men smile and suspicious wives frown— | It would take me a year just to write the half down, ‘Ving-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting. 1 am just as curious as curious can be, ‘Ting-a-ling-ling, ting-a-ling-ling, ‘The faces of all my patrons to see, Ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting ; If I could but see as I hear o'er the line, My knowledge of things would be semi-divine, And my job I would never, no, never, resign, ‘Ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting. — Columbus (O.) Dispatch. Angostura Bitters should find a place in every house- hold. ” The best.cure for indigestion. Manufactured by Dr. J. G. B, Siegert & Sons.” All druggists keep them. A pious man went to church one ho Sabbath day, And_ pious! I would not live hat afternoon he sat and wrote his druggist on a card, “Please send me down some clixir alels. Brow ‘Sequard.” Munsey's Weekly, C. 6, SHAYNE MANUFACTURER OF Sealskin Garments an ALL Leading Fashionable Furs, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL. Specialty made of Gentlemen's Fur-lined Overcoata, Caps, Gloves, and Sleigh Robes, 124 West 42d Street and 103 Prince Street, NEW YORK. Fashion Book mailed ‘Free. Bessie —"* How was it you refused Charlie when you love him so?" _Jennie—"* Because after proposing once he changed the subject and never referred to it again | I intended to accept him the third time he asked."— Drake's Magazine. Mrs. Winstow’s SooTHInc Syrup for Children Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarrhoea, "25 cents a bottle, GRAND DESCRIPTIVE POWERS. ‘The Martyrs have stayed at home all summer, and their friends, Theophilust Borer and his wife, come over Sunday evening to tell about their delightful sum- mer trip. ‘Oh, you ought to have been with us. It was grand, Up in the Adirondacks; they were just grand: The grandest mountains. And the sunsets — ah, they were grand, One evening we saw the grand- est sunset; oh, it was grand! Just grand. Oh, but the scenery—grand? Perfectly grand! ‘Talk about grandeur ; I never saw anything so grand. The grand- est mountains; grand? Grand! One afternoon a storm came up; our windows looked right out on the storm. It was grand. ‘The grandest sight I cver saw. Our windows looked right out on the lake. You never saw anything so grand. And the mountains—ah, they were grand. Our windows looked right out on the mountains my, but everything was grand. Why, you could just our windows and look right out at the mountains. Ab, they were grand. We'd just sit there and look out; it was grand. You can't realize how grand it was ‘unless you saw it, It was just grand. You can't begin to describe it; you can’t describe it at all." At this point the dying Martyrs rouse themselves to assent to this proposition with such unexpected and emphatic indorsement that the Borers are encouraged to believe that it is an honest encore, and they ‘* describe" it all over again, During the summer and winter—and in the spring-time and along through the autumn months—there is a great deal said and written in de- nunciation of *' descriptive writing,” but the fact is we don't have enough of it. ‘There is very little of it. There isn’t one descriptive letter in three hundred that describes anything. There isn’t one person in a thou- sand, home returning from mountain and seashore, who can give any better description of what they have seen than your friends the Borers.— Burdette, BERTON “SEC” CHAMPAGNE. Case one dozen bottles, $30.00, net. half-bottles, $32.00, net. Case two dozen IN A NUTSHELL. Never meet trouble half way. It will reach you soon enough, Reading maketh a full man, and liquor-drinking a fool one too. ‘The man who is given to sober reflection seldom gets into a tight place. “Variety is the spice of life.” tainly is to the bald man, It is when a man is in the iron grip of poverty that his clothes begin to get rusty. ‘The only office that has to seek the man is the unsal- aried one and which brings no perquisites. A man who has a cent left after all his debts are paid is like a theatrical advance agent—one sent ahead. “Love levels all things.” Perhaps so; but it has been noticed that its tendency is not to make the head level. —Boston Courier. ‘The variety-show cer- SIMPLY PERFECT. ‘The Union Pacific Railway, '* The Overland Route,” has equipped its trains with’ dining-cars of the latest tern, and on and after August 18th the patrons of its fast trains between Council Bluffs and Denver, and between Council Bluffs and Portland, Ore., will be pro- vided with delicious meals, the best the market affords, perfectly served, at seventy-five cents each. Pullman's Palace Car Co. will have charge of the service on these cars. Mrs. Proudfoot—""1 have at last consented to my daughter's marriage with George. You know he saved her from drowning while bathing.” Little Tommy (speaking up)—"* Sister told me it was a put-up job." Epoch, CARL PRETZEL’S PHILOSOPHY. Vhen shpring dond put on her new close dhen you got noting Leaudy in summer und no froots in der be- hind end of der year. You coodn’t found in der pible pook someting dot vas. hospitile to der innoshent enchoyments of any feller. 1 baed you your life on dot. ‘Vhen you saw der habbiness und bleasures of dis vorldt fhlewing avay, dhen you could pooty gwick saw der choys und {rolics of anoder vorldt comin Dots besser you dond let der nite time of your life go out till you were able to said ‘‘gooten morgen” to der inhapitants of dot Borneo from whence you coodn't come eny more pooty gwick back, } YOUMANS CELEBRATED HATS. * Style and Quality Unequaled. 180—719—1107 Broadway. THE CELEBRATED PIANOS Are at present the Most Popular and Proferred by Laading Artist, Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St. W. Y. SOHMER « CO. 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