Judge, 1889-10-12 · page 15 of 18
Judge — October 12, 1889 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, with one humorous short story ("His Stock Went Up"). **The Main Narrative Content:** "His Stock Went Up" depicts a man complaining to Major Riddleford that the Major's dog bit him while he walked past the house. The Major repeatedly responds with disinterest ("You don't say so!"), never acknowledging the complaint seriously. When pressed, he claims he can't help—he's "no surgeon." The man demands to know if the Major will kill the dog. **The Satire/Joke:** The humor lies in the Major's willful misunderstanding and indifference. He pretends not to grasp the complaint's seriousness, offering absurd non-responses that frustrate the visitor. The title "His Stock Went Up" suggests the dog's value to the Major increased precisely *because* it bit someone—implying the Major valued his aggressive dog more after this incident, an ironic commentary on misplaced priorities. **Context for Modern Readers:** This reflects Victorian-era attitudes about property ownership and liability, satirizing wealthy landowners' dismissive attitudes toward ordinary people's complaints about their animals or property.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE 15 Established 1801. Bent & Co’s celebrated hand-made water crackers. Guaranteed absolutely pure. Hand-made from choicest flour. They are easy of digestion. Recom- mended by eminent physi- cians both sides the Atlan- tic. Get only the genuine, which bear the stamp of the makers. For more than four-score years the Crack- crs have been unequaled for their excellence and their superior keeping qualities. They are sold by first-class grocers everywhere. BENT & CO., Milton, Mass. GRATEFUL—COMFORTING. EPPS’'S COCOA BREAKFAST. © By a thorough knowledge of the natural laws which govern the operations of digestion and nutrition, and by a careful ap- lication of the fine properties of well-selected Me. Epps has provided our breakfast tables with a delicately flavored beverage which may save us many heavy doctor's bills, It is by the judicious use of such articles of diet that a constitution may be gradually built up until strong enough to resist every Tendency to disease, Hundreds of subtle maladies are floating Around us ready to attack wherever there isa weak point. We inay excape many a fatal shaft by keeping ourscives well fort Bed with pure biped and a properly nourished frame.—" Ciett Service Gazette.” ‘Made simply with boiling water or milk, Sold only in half. pound tins, by Grocers, labelled thus: JAMES EPPS & Co., Homaopathic Chemii London, England. CALLUP NOVELTY WORKS. W.P. VAM ZILB, Proprieter, nme umen, exres qouurre. TROY, N. ¥., TRACE MARK —Lapits’ ARD GENTS’ LINER COLLARS AND CUFFS, Bontea, 48 namener Street, Baltimore, 34 Sharp Stret; York, #8 Grevea Se OVERTON. = Cetablished 1865. Sg WILLIAM ROEMER, — MANUFACTURER OF Trunks and Traveling Bags, No. 82 Fifth Avenue, Corner 14th Street, NEW YORK. Don't spoil your Feet with CHEAP SHOES Wear Burt & Packard “Korrect Shape. “ALL STYLES! ORIENTAL CARPETS AND RUGS. Modern and Antique. CHOICEST STOCK IN THE CITZ. VAN GAASBEEK & ARKELL. 935 Broadway, Cor. 22d Street, New York. MAGIC LANTERNS ae lS nei sTrIONs, om "Protiabis business for aman wih @ email. Aisoy, a eaete eomeat 3 MoACLISTER, Mis Uiena, 49 Nassau StONATS TROY PRESS. Largest Circulation and best Advertising Medium in Troy, N. Y. LIVELY, POPULAR, ABLE. Cloth surface Rubber Garments for Ladies and MACKINTOSHES, <2szteist2t Colds, and at'sndant liability to SICKNESS. We are inanutacturr gents, and will be pleased to send descriptive circular, gis Brices, etc. Greatest boon to mankind yet discovered. ; | “RELL & LEONARD, Hatt and Waterproofers, 472-474 Broadway, Al Furriers ny, N.Y. | on top? | — Yonkers URBANA WINE COMPANY, HAMMONDSPORT, N. Y. GOLD SEAL CHAMPAGNES, EXTRA DRY, SPECIAL DRY AND BRUT. Pronounced by Connoisseurs the Best Natural Sparkling Wine produced in America. For Sale by all Leading Wine Dealers and Grocers. HIS STOCK WENT UP. How Major Riddleford W: Great Worth. An angry-looking man called at the office of Major Riddleford. “I have come, sir,” said the man, ‘to tell you that while passing’ your house this morning your dog ran out and bit me.” “You don't say so!” the major exclaimed. “Yes, I do say so. I was walking along the road, attending strictly to my own business, when on a sud- den the wretch leaped over the fence and bit a piece out of me.” You don’t say so!" ** But, confound it, I do say so.” “Oh, I see. You do say so. “Yes, Ido, and moreover I want to know what you are going to do about it **1 can't do anything ; I'm no surgeon.” t I want to know if you are going to kill the ing the dog wouldn't help the wound, would I demand his death.” “Did he jump o ** Of course he did. “Didn't crawl under the gate?” , I tell you, he jumped over the fence.” ** Did he go over with a clear leap or did he scramble the fence and nab you?” “He jumped clear over; but what difference does that make?” “Makes considerable difference. A dog that can jump so high a fence must be valuable. For some time I have thought that he was of no account, and I had intended to kill him, but now that you have given me so strong a proof of his worth, why his stock goes up. He shall live. Now, if he had crawled under the gate, or if he had scrambled clumsily on top of the fence, I should at once have signed his death-warrant, but as he cleared the fence at a bound I "— “You are a fool.” ank you. When he bites you again call around and see mg, Good-day."—Arkansaw Traveler, WEB OF THE WITS. The bric-A-brac gatherer never thinks that he is the worst for ware.—Boston Courier, A syndicate of cattlemen has a perfect right to water its stock.—Kockester Post-Express. A river is one of the queerest things out—its head isn't near as big as its mouth.—A‘entucky State Journal. Tt may sound funny, bu penmen at the Chicago stoc hers Statesman. ards cannot write.— Yon- While the tiger may be confined in an ordinary cage, it is often necessary to put the lynx in chains. Jerre Haute Express, ‘The man who has lost his “pile” in Wall street looks upon that locality as the dearest spot on earth to him, it is a fact that many of the | ©F# and by the following well-known Jobbe N. ESPENSCHEID’S Celebrated “NEW YORK’ Hats. (18 wassau'streer, 118 N. B.—Extremely Stylish Hats for Young Men always ‘@ specialty, CARL UPMANN’S BOUQUET CICAR. BEWARE OF IMITATIONS. All genuine Cart Urstaxn’s Bouguet Cicars have a band bearing his name, as in above cut. This is the finest three-for-a- quarter cigar manufactured in the world. For the past eight years it has been sold by the leading jobbers in the United States, and has steadily increased in rity and volume, and to-day it stands without a rival. For sale by all first-class Retail- comicbooks.com