Judge — October 12, 1889 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A NEW MEXICO HEATHEN. AUGHT she knows of fashion-plates, Of" sassiety” as little : Ne'er of etiquette she prates— Pueblo manners aren’t so brittle. aking form" she ne'er begins, Lacing knows she not a word of ; sheathes her shapely shins, Bucks Powder thinks she made for guns, Not for loading female fact Gossiping she never runs To exploit her friends’ disgraces. Well she knows to run and jump, Has no yearnings for a bustle ; Taper are her arms and plump— Plump and generous of muscle. Literary lore she lacks, Only naturg’s volume reading Yet her home is neat as wax, Modest dignity her breeding. To this daughter of the sun, So benighted—oh, so very -— Lest she still in darkness run, Send we out a missionary ! nas. FATAL CURIOSITY. © eD)ID you know that Miss Inkskip was dead? Suicide they “Miss Inkskip? Impossible! Why contented.” Yes; but she was the most curi ing said that she couldn't live happ and found out what came next.” Il she had sol TIME WOULD TEL yourself,” SOUND ADVICE. “HON gone into the second-hand book business TION. Foreman of THe **Sticep Canon Deatu-crt of a stick short on th’ last column. Got any more copy?” ; but run in an obituary on Hen Pettigrew.” Why, he ain't dead !" Never mind; he will be. T just saw hii ing Eagle saloon with his trousers outside his boots, over there.” “We're jest quarter going into the Moult- hey can’t stand dudes JUDGE High French heels she never heard of. LeMMS, she had everything to make her us woman alive. She is reported as hav- d the mystery of death Patient —" Great heavens, young man, that’s pretty strong medicine!” Voung doctor —* Nes; it’s very powerful. Sometimes it cures and some- times it kills.” Patient —"* Well—I say—here, young man, is there any danger in my case?” Young doctor —"1 can’t tell for an hour yet, Mr. Moneybags. Now calm Y is the best policy, my son,” remarked Jones, who has lately here’s an example, T’other day a customer came into the shop and bought a dollar book, After he had left I discovered that he had dropped a twenty-dollar bill, Now some men would have simply pocketed it. Not so your father; when my partner returned I—gave him half!” UNWILLING TO TAKE THE RISK. N A SOUTH CAROLINA PRISON. First convicted murderer — Let us fire the jail and escape!” Second convicted murderer —* No, sir; 1 don’t want to run my head into the noose. Arson is a capital crime down here.” MORE THAN HE COULD DO. LaxpLorb—"*T'll tell you what I'll do, my young friend. I'll take off a month's rent if you'll paint a handsome portrait of me.” Denstow (the artist)—** That would be impossible, sir.” DIDN’T CARE FOR LUXURIES. "TOMKINS is just married and goes apartment-hunting every day with - the girl of his choice. “ Have you any rooms to let?” he asked at the first house he came to yesterday. “Yes: a large front one, furnished; twe balcony. “How much without?” interrogated Tomkins, who is of an inquiring turn of mind. y dollars a month with OCTOBER. CTOBER’S here, the month to poets dear, When sighing nature, stripped of all her bloom, Her face erst beaming now enwrapped in gloom, Doth give the bard a chance to drop a tear ‘And many stanzas o'er the dying year Now too the corner druggist wanteth room, For patent medicines enjoy a boom, October making men feel somewhat queer As for myself, on pills I am not bent, Nor do poetic longings thrill my soul— Ah me, on such uncertain seas I float, T'm thinking only how to pay the rent, And how much gold I'll need for wood and coal, And how to get a winter overcoat ! NO DECEPTION THERE. The Minister (to choir-master) music went splendidly this jr-master —"Nes; | flatter myself it did.” Minister —"1 am glad to see the singers give their whole energy to the important religious work, ‘There is no deception in such singing as that.” Choir-master —* Well, no; I should say not. You sce, Mr. Thumper, I told the choir last night that an operatic manager would attend church to-day for the purpose of finding some good voices.” comicbooks.com