Judge — September 28, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

598 BUZZ-SAWS. XPERIENCE teaches a large class. The path of divorce leads but to the stage. It is nicer to have your money saved than to save it. The things that don’t seem possible occur very often. The boy who chases the cat often falls down the cellar. In the early summer the grocer is rather small potatoes. A wink to a drug-clerk is as good as a nod to an auctioneer. When a man has hit upon his right field he often finds that some other fel- low has mown the grass. The man who jumps overboard to save a girl and then marries her may be said to have fallen in love. The little base-ball fiend who looks through the hole in the fence doesn’t believe in giving any quarter. SURE! ‘OW many undertake and fail success! So easy is it a mistake to make ; If undertaker be your business You'll carry out all that you undertake. PATENT APPLIED FOR. HY should the market-gardener's wife wear russet gaiters ? Because the yell “Oh, shoo!” will make the chickens get out of the gar- den, BEAUTY AND WEALTH. “irst society man —" Don't you ad- mire lovely Miss Dykins—she with the long, swan-like neck ? Second society man —*Oh, yes; very pretty to look at; but 1 tell you the woman who takes my eye is that elderly Miss Diwinkle, with the long, swan-like purse.” Stance —Any chance ter sell yer some number one poetry, boss?” CHANGED. SaiLey —" T've come after my portrait. PHOTOGRAPHER'S NEW CLERK—"* Isn't there some mistake? one doesn’t resemble you.” Downy —"Ah, 1 see. | j | it AN APPOSITION OF SIZES. Eprror oF THE“ FAMILY Brewer"—"* Py Who let dot feller climb up on dot parti \ q That's it, there.” —"'It did before I had my vhair trimmed and beard Fleecy—"Yes; but I'm not very far on. few phrases that a fellow finds necessary in the course of the day Such as ‘zwei beer,’ etc.” "Wmv St seme jm THER CARD n | pe VISITORS \ DIDN'T GET ALL THE “FIXIN'S.” GENTLEMAN, in a restaurant not renowned for its cleanliness, discovered a hair in his plate of Irish stew. ‘ Pushing it aside, he went on eating, but in a few moments found another. “ Here, waiter!” he shouted, his pa- tience being exhausted, " you forgot to bring me a comb.” IMPOSSIBLE. Guest —"1 judge from your talk that the season has not been a very profitable one for the summer hotels.” Proprietor —" Well, we might have done worse.” Guest — Not in the dining-room.” LOVE’S EVANESCENCE. OVE comes again! ‘Than all those past This one is surely sweeter, brighter. Ah! love, I know you cannot last, ‘And so I hold you all the tighter. What more unstable is than love, ‘What fleeter or more evanescent? While the dear one you're dreaming of, Off flies the love that made life pleasan. Love flies, but always leaves behind From his gay wing a golden feather ; A something radiant to remind Of days when we were glad together. New love, new life, While this shall last ‘Why not enjoy its sunny weather? And then in my collection cast Again one more love-loosened feather. GRORGE BIRDSEVE. NECESSARY PHRASES. Downy —"So you're studying Ger- man, ch? Fine language when you get into it.” I have learned only a | comicbooks.com