Judge, 1889-09-21 · page 5 of 16
Judge — September 21, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous sketches typical of Judge's satirical format: **"Maid Margaret"** is a sentimental poem about a bachelor romanticizing a young woman, contrasting idealized fantasy with his lonely reality. **"An Unimportant Exception"** jokes about a woman's incessant talking—she'll say anything *except* prayers, implying her talkativeness is almost irreverent. **"An Extravagant Child"** satirizes wasteful children and permissive parenting: a child demands constant new shoes; the mother indulges her. **"Involuntary Generosity"** shows a diner accidentally spilling ketchup on himself and a server, sarcastically thanking him for the "generosity." **"The Clerk Makes the Money"** depicts a hotel clerk earning more than the manager—a comment on wage disparities or the clerk's importance to operations. **"A Question of Remorse"** is a rural joke: a woman wearing a red hat in a bull field risks danger, and whether the bull charges depends on whether it has conscience—implying the animal lacks moral restraint. The cartoons mock social pretension, parenting, class dynamics, and human folly.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MAID MARGARET. _ (At the sign of the Blush and the Dimple.) THROUGH say shady nooks tn 9 faraway land That ever is perfamed with roses, Where valse-tunes are sung by the waves on the strand, And love-dreams fill jolly reposes, “Twere pleasant to wander with you in the shade, With nothing my heartstrings to crimple : _ With nothing to do but make love to the maid At the sign of the Blush and the Dimple. Delighting in honey-sweet breezes that blow Perpetual mid-summer weather ; And never a thought would be wasted in guess, For words they are perfectly simple ; So, when I said something, you, dear, would say yes, At the sign of the Blush and the Dimple. Ah! slowly I rouse from my firelight laze ; ‘The chimney-draughts scatter the ashes ; ‘The dingy street-lamps light the grayest of days, And rattle the loose window-sashes. A tiny tear lurks in the gray of my beard, But joys through my heart-beatings wimple— ‘The bachelor-heart that was woefully seared At the sign of the Blush and the Dimple. AN UNIMPORTANT EXCEPTION. “THEY were speaking of an inveterate talker. “Did she have the boldness to say that?” exclaimed the gentle Mrs. Low in a horrified voice. Say that? She'd say anything except her prayers.” AN EXTRAVAGANT CHILD. Woman (to dog) —" Has Fido lost his collar? shall have another cc y too.” Nurse (entering) some new shoes very much, Woman—* For the land’s sake! that child will have to st house. [can’t buy shoes for her every Well, Fido ix months.” A CUTTING REMARK. Algernon —*You must not think, d and I am poor | Genevie st, that because you m trying to marry you on account of your mon — Whose are you after, pa’s?” 331 INVOLUNTARY GENEROSITY. an MERE “@ SS —(as the chair takes a slide)—"* Much oblecged. but th’ ketchup wuz all I wanted.” You Yorkers is blamed perlite, THE CLERK MAKES THE MONEY. A‘ THE close of the season. Hotel man—" Where are you going for the wi Head clerk — Oh, L think V'll spend the winter a 5 Hotel man—"Well, here's your five-hundred-dollars. salary for the last week, -Er—ean you let me have twen months?” cents for a few A QUESTION OF REMORSE. Mr. Boarpem —"T reck'n I wouldn't wear that red hat down through th’ bull-field, Miss Cassaway.” Miss Cassaway—" Will it frighten him 2" Mr, Boarpen — iat depends on whether he’s got any conscience or not arter you're picked up." comicbooks.com