Judge — September 14, 1889 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE CRABBING. She was not pretty, but I knew Her heart was kind— Nor very bright, but / had mind Enough for two, I quite determined she would make ‘The very wife T ought to take. |Z FISHED for crabs one breezy day Out on the pier. Below us, rippling green and clear, Old ocean lay ; Above there bent a summer sky, Wherein a gull went drifting by. Just then she drew her net to see Quite skititully. “1 do not struggle, dear; and yet 1 t00.” said T,"*am in your net.” She wore a sailordress of blue, ‘A sailor hat. Her nose turned up, but what of that ; Or if in view Some tiny freckles were, since che Ta most respects quite suited me? ‘Sweet soul! I knew her cheek would pale With glad surprise As she, with drooping hazel eyes, Heard love's old tale. It made my heart with interest stir To think how new ‘twould be to her. She turned the mesh and let her prey Slip back to sea, ‘And yawning rather openly Theard her say, “When they are safely caught, why then T don't care much for crabs or men SIBYLLINE LEAVES. WINTER shall be soon upon us. The weather will be cold, with occasional visits of snow and hail. Business failures, divorces, and society actresses will become more and more popular with the flight of time. Two parties shall be in the field at the November election, one of which must prepare for defeat. The time will come when it shall be common for women to vote, play ball, and whip their husbands, and for men to cook, stay home at night, and drink nothing but water. Lawyers, doctors, plumbers, and your wife's milliner shall continue to send in their requests as usual. It may become fashionable to be honest, to obey the ten com- mandments, to pay bills when due, to pl ds without cheating, and to abstain from swearing, but the Sibyls doubt it. The time will come when he who utters an old joke will be stoned to death, and when the courts will justify the stoner, ‘ Liquor-palaces shall continue to multiply until there shall be at least seven on a block instead of three, as at present. The successful men of the future are the politic the hotel-bouncer, the waiter, the fal eral principles, HER SCORE. MBS. POMPADOUR PARASOL, in turning the comer, knocks off first her husband’s and then her cousin's hat. Cousin (laughingly) —“A pretty good double play, sis." Husband (wrathfully) —"A too base hit, I should say; and I think you'd better make a home run.” the prize-fighter, and he who is a tramp on THE EXACT LOCALITY DESCRIBED. TWO of the seediest-looking tramps that you could possibly: meet in a long day's drive were brought up in the police-court. “ Where do you live ?” asked the magistrate. “ Nowhere,” replied one of the vagabonds. “And you “Me? Oh, I room on the floor above my pal.” NOT COMMUNICATIVE. (the mortar-boss)—"' D' yer fale anny pain, McManus ?* McManus (soho has had a fall)—* Divil th’ mite do Oi know. Ax tht docther.” THE TALE OF A FISH. OUTH and maidea Ina boat, Ona lakelet Flirt and float, Maiden thinks the Water cool, Puts hand in it— Little foot. From her hnger— Heedless thing— Loses handsome Diamond ring. Maiden frantic, Tears her hair. Youth, disgusted, Wants to swear, Youth next morning Rod, line, bottle, Rubber clothes. Yanks a fish from Out the tide ; Feels big lump in Fish's side. Wonders if the Sealy thing Could have swallowed Darling's ring. So, with great ex Citement rife, Cuts fish open— Big jack-knife— Mystery to ‘Thus unravel. Diamond ? Bit of gravel Fishing goes; AN EXPERIMENT. Se] SAY, Tommy!, Tommy! Where are you?” “ Here, mamma; in the garden.” “Great heavens, Tommy! Whatever are you doing there, up to your knees in the mud ? “Why, mamma, I've just planted myself, and you'll soon see me grow.” ONE CONSOLATION, AT LEAST. HE CONVERSATION had turned on the case of an old gentleman who had died suddenly. “How shocking!" said some one. “Poor Mr. B. had scarcely got inside the house, sat down, and taken off his specs when, without a mo- ment’s warning, he fell back lifeless.” “But at least,” said Jones, who was present, “ being very near-sighted, and having first taken off his glasses, he was spared the painful spectacle of —sceing himself die.” —** Halloa, Billy. IN CITY-HALL PARK. u going to shake hands?” Depends on what it's going to cost ch Haven't seen you since you got that city ap- shaken for a month has been an expense to me all the way from one beer to a hundred dollars.” comicbooks.com