Judge — August 17, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

300 HUM OF THE COURT. O SYNDICATE will ever get possession of heaven; but we can’t say as much for the other place. N MY OPINION what this country most needs is fewer savages and more gold.— General Columbus, BOUT NOW Boulanger is made up of about equal parts of hysterics and despair, and his effort to whistle is ex- tremely painful, IFE, will take no place be- hind his wife in the court procession, The only wonder is that he doesn’t insist on being the drum-major. T WAS YEARS before Christopher Columbus. be- came an adjective, or an ex- clamation of surprise; but his- tory is just and the whirligig of time never tires. MB. PLATT thinks Alaska is a great country, that it would make a OM first-rate state, and that Warner Miller ought to be one of its senators, HEN TH marked, have them.” BROTHER EVARTS denies the story that he wrote the constitution of North Dakota. It is odd how the histo Of course the docum the first chapter of Genesis. N COMMODORE COLUMBUS was first bitten by a mosquito ratched his nose thoughtfully and I suspect we are on the borders of New Jersey.” struck Plymouth rock one pal 1g waves dash high.” “ patriarch, pulling his beard reflectivel t to be especially accredited to Brother Evarts is HIS FIRST VIEW OF THE WHEEL. Bieyetisr— Why in thunder didn’t you warn me that there was_a hole he —""Bless yer heart, friend, I’ thought you wuz tryin’ one’r them flyin’ CLERGYME without the m ing effect on them, s. Whether the is not stated, but the getting along pretty comfortably. E HAVE al 1, after a moment, “Hah! iarch re- they come high, but we must THE RACE PROBLEM, accor ton from the south, will be settle d. loaf is $s of this day get while the bl: CRANIAL ADVANTAGES. Mr. Jouxsox —" Don't be scart, lehdies. TT finds her soul-husband in a man who h ‘ast-off women found a who finds his sole wife He won't git intelligent agin fer ten minutes.” IRLS to the number of fourteen thousand are attending cooking-schools_in London; and here let us re- member, brethren, that the safest proof of the pudding is in letting the other chap eat it. BROWN -SEQUARD and Hammond discover that extract of meat injected into a man will make him feel as if he were thirty years younger. But the old way is the best. Leta man have a young body with an old brain and he will cut up such foolishness as makes the angels weep. You BRUTE at Clarion, Pa., cut off the cars and cut out the tongue of his father's colt, which had kicked him, Sometimes one tempted to regret that draw= ing and quartering is out of date—Free Press, Really! It strikes us the poor animal has suffered too much already, objected to the ballet on Manhattan beach be- cause of its demoralizing effects, and in consequet s to an honest livelihood—a situ: yal-husband in. ind sticks to her is ys regretted that Colonel Columbus planted the Span- ish standard on our soil when he landed; but he didn’t happen to have a copy of the stars and stripes with him, or perhaps it was in one of the unopened trunks in the hold of the v 1g to a colored gentleman at Washing- only when black men are given the tead of the crumbs, There is a mighty sight of thought in that proposition, especially when the colored gentl ck voter must vote with the old party of the slave-drivers. ‘ks th nan rel at_mean- comicbooks.com