Judge — August 10, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE “MR. TRAVERS OF MAINE. OLD CHOCOLATE’S JOCOSERIOUS CHAT. (With apotogics to Colonel Eugene Field.) WEN YO" leas’ ‘spec’ hit, down yo" go. AS ANY ONE seen “ Mr, Travers of Maine "— Yo" gottah mix sweat wid ‘uth toe git good crops. A mild-spoken fellow whose language is plain? De man wid de leas’ money offen lugs de bigges’ purse. T met him last week coming home from the track SHAZ Reale as z choses (das ee ee as carmel Tacos inc weak Nebbah brag dat yo" a'n't wet twell yo" is “cross de stream, And, talking of horses, 1 ponied up when A quar'l stahted obah an aig offen ends in de loss ob two poultry- Young Travers quite skillfully touched me for ten. yahds. He wears natty clothing that's faultless in fit, Hit makes a dif'ence ef Sambo er secn er us wudder he am steal- And diamond buttons that cost him a bit; in’ er makin’ beteeb. His long blonde mustache has a natural droop, et dre: : dhe wancontoh each ete Sad catlag tated a Ef dreams wah true, some folks ud nebbah wantoe git outen bed, [And in general make-up the neatest of men an’ oddahs ud nebbah wish toe git in. Is Travers who languidly touched me for ten. Ef de hammah, de hoe, an’ de ax wah used in de law, dar ud be His manners are fetching, and honesty lies, less dat ud try toc git a libbin outen hit. Ov appareatty larks, in his merry bine eyes 3 Many a man dat praises yo" toe put yo" off yo" guard dat he Perptin het arab reeesecdart oral y fin’ yo" weak spots, Laikwise de cat shiel’s huh claws wile sh And opens your heart as he gets in his brace— may fin’ yo" weak spots, Laikwise de ic la le she 1n memory now Iam chatting agafa purrs. J. A: WALDRON, With Travers who modestly touched me for ten. He's a promising lad and his foresight is keen ; But, gents, in his hindsight he's frightfully green. To strike an old fellow like me at the start, Without wasting time hunting round for the heart, Shows genius, of course, to my thinking ; but then, Young Travers touched me for a counterfeit ten. . NO WAY AT ALL TO SPELL IT. SCYVHAT a beautiful new boat!” exclaimed Miss Ethel at Long Branch as the yacht Psyche shot past the wharf. Yes,” replied her uncle, from St. Louis; but isn’t that a funny way to spell F WOULDN’T BEAT HIS WAY. Farmer's wife—"Vil give you some dinner if you'll beat that carpet for me. Tramp —* Madam, I'm strictly honest. 1 always said if I couldn't get along in the world without beating my way I wouldn't go. Good mornin POSTED. Mode—"1s my bathing-suit ready?” “Oh, madame, I cannot find ze suit any- where.” Mrs, La Mode—" Not find it! Oh, what shall 1 do?” (Weeps.) A TERRIBLE INSULT. - Marie (entering soon after) —" Oh, madame, let us be Fare. Rarrerty (after the wedding) —"* Tut, tut, man! What's all this?” jovtul.. Lepickoup’ ak apes sled. kIpEGROOM MCMANNUS—"* Vez can ‘tut, tut” till yez goes chrazy, but phin Barney mid pick up 2 postagestamp from. 2c desk.and 1 Gives, me w ld flame, sinds me a wan-chune music-box that plays ‘Croppies, Lie find ze bath-suit sticking to ze back. Down,” Oi'm goin’ t’ kick ! re ey yy Hy) S A earth?" said Downy to Fleecy. Ee WY Q That's one of the greatest men of the hour.” Ly, - 8 = Zi Mig se “Author, politician, actor ?” “Neither; that’s Henshaw, and he’s got five houses up the river full of 1887 ice. yyy py 7, *\WRBIAARYAG A MAN TO BE RESPECTED. Zz YY Wij il Na 66 YH is that man strutting along on the other aes ake iii) ji) , 1 side of the strect as though he owned the YY YY ypu IF YOU WERE HERE. F YOU were here to dissipate its gloom, Our pretty home would seem less like a tomb, I miss you so—your smiling, winsome face ; I miss your presence and your dainty grace, Your thrilling voice, your favorite perfume. ‘That you are happy, darling, I assume, As with your ponies and your dapper groom At Narragansett pier you set the pace If you were here! such is life—the loving husband's doom, the city’s heat to fret and fume; The wife at some far-off suburban place. And yet, my love, if such were not the case Td not be smoking in the drawing-room — If you were here. SHE MISUNDERSTOOD. Old Mr. Bentley —\ see it stated in this paper 3 that ex-President Cleveland has been appointed a A PLAYED-OUT ATTRACTION. pelerec: , if eet eS. Old Mrs. Bentley —Nou don't say so! It’s Tirroo Sau (to his trainer as Feldstein enters the tent)—"* Sorry you're going into it ag ee nee a hee ex jake. That baby-elephant business has been run into the ground by all the third-rate shows, and you'll. CoMe to A pretty pass when ex-presidents en- lose money by it, my boy courage prize-fights, hain’t it, Jo . comicbooks.com