Judge — June 22, 1889 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

maid, JUDGE SONG OF THE FUTURE SOCIETY QUEEN. IS LATE and long that I must sleep to-morrow, ob, my For I shall need much beauty-sleep before I am arrayed In silken tights and fluttering skirts, the daintiest ever seen ; For of the circus I'm to be the dashing, daring queen. The sawdust is my native heath ; I feel it in my toes. ‘The wild delight I (cel when there no other maiden knows. How tame tay old ssi Q\ Tr ide bareback arou lap! erly, g 1nd the ring while the goo clap— life seems to me, passed in stale Custom's SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. Upon my toes I rise and turn, quite like the ballet-girl ; And through the gilded, dude-held hoop with graceful curve l whirl. Upon the wild trapeze T swing, high in quick-pulsing air To think that I was once content to be called sweet and fair!” ‘Oh, the maddest, wildest, boldest prank that T can think to do 1 will perform to-morrow night among those chosen few. And though reporters "can't come in,” I'll read next morn, you bet In great big letters," Queen Vi cut the cutest capers yet.”" WOMAN'S severest judge and most persistent accuser is woman. Th nius makes he chronic inv. times-seventy sort. It requires less heroism to stand boldly at the guns than to keep one’s temper under a small THE DANGER-SIGNAL OUT. Editor —" What does the man out- side look like?” Office-boy —"* He looks mad. Guess he wants to stop his paper.” ditor —" What makes you think so? Office-boy —* Wall, he took off his coat and vest and rolled up his shirt- | nd asked if you were in.” Kditer—"Nou go down and at- tend to his wants, and {ll go down the y and try to find a new sub- HINTS TO THE SWEET GIRL | GRADUATE. LWAYS tie your essay with blue ribbon. Do not read an original poem on “Life.” The subject is a well-worn send your graduating essay to the papers with stamps inclosed for its return. Do not pr speare too much. You may make some living author jealou Always ery when you bid adieu to your teacher, but never say that you are shedding tears of joy. Do not open your address with “ Dear friends,” because your dearest friend in the audience might feel hurt. Do not go into raptures over Byron's poetry. His poems have recently been outdone by several female pocts. A good cla + copied from the obelisk, and then nobody, not even yourself, will know what it means. Always speak of your alma mater in subdued tones. Most peopie think an a/ma is a sort of untamed maiden-lady teacher. State that you expect to go abroad very soon, and take a trip to Hoboken the first chance you get. That will cure you of all desire to travel. Do not imagine that you will be engaged inside of a year after graduating. Most men like to wait until the school pol- ish has worn off a little. Blush bec S you make your bow and you will be applauded People on such occasions would ap- plaud if you had a fit on the stage. It is not well to make too startling an address, for people will put you down as. strong-minded, to-day are afraid of strong. When you give the ye at parting. always be sure that you can be heard in all portions of the room. SECOND CITIZE Fist CITIZEN-sot Born —** Shake.” nd the youths of ninded maidens. ss kiss on the st This creates a little pleasant feeling. A MUTUAL RECOGNITION. Hullo!” LDIER —"* Ole guard, N’ York ?” | First cIrizeN-soLDiEr (after an anniversary celebration) —"* Hullo !" Ansh’n’ ‘n’ hon'rable, Boston ?” First crtizex-soLbiEk —" own law, and the tithe-possessors show their ignorance by decrying its nd the hopeless lover will outlive any patience of even the seventy- fire of pygmy arrows. The power of forgiveness lies only within one’s self. A man’s belief in a thing—in everything—is his religion. It is generally the wise souls that choose parents wisely. The too-carefully guarded plant is likely to be weak. It is a questionable hero who makes a pillow of his laurels, Nothing is so necessary as necessity in the progress of the human race. A single swallow does not make a summer, nor a score of gifts a friend. Heroism is protean in its forms, and the truest hero may be quite unknown as such to himself and the world, Itis said that no sort of know!- edge comes amiss to the detect- ive. The same may be said of one who aspires to letters. We have heroes and heroines aplenty, to whom we set aside special days for the purpose of honoring; but if complete jus- tice were done, every day in the year would be a hero-day, and the names of Jones and Smith would be glorious in the light of it, KATHRINE GROSJRAN, THE BALL-PLAYER OF THE FUTURE. CatcHeR MCMICKLIN—" Better unload 'm right here, fellers, where dey'll be handy t” der plate. comicbooks.com